In defense of arranged marriages
- Thread starter zeroturbulence
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G
--JulieAnnie .
I am sure it would be someone 'fart' worthy, LOL . ('Read my 'You Know The Date Is Taking A Wrong Turn When...' thread to UNDERSTAND what I mean by that
Llamason, you know I love you, man, just horsing around with what you said, it was tooo funny, bro in Christ.
----On this topic, 'arranged marriages,' I think they are fine, the Lord leads. Pray about that happening and maybe it will. Delight yourself in the Lord is the FIRST thing you must do (psalms 37:4) and then you will GET the desires of your heart.
It DID work for David, first, he was in trouble for Bathsheba sin but he tore clothes and cried for forgiveness out to God. Did it work? Actually, at first, NO ! David's next child born, died shortly after birth. And, that, is definitely suffereing extreme consequences but David continued to praise God and God called David a man 'pleasing' to Him. That, by, the way, is the same 'pleasing' word God used to refer to His son, Jesus, as God asked John The Baptist to baptize him
I am sure it would be someone 'fart' worthy, LOL . ('Read my 'You Know The Date Is Taking A Wrong Turn When...' thread to UNDERSTAND what I mean by that
Llamason, you know I love you, man, just horsing around with what you said, it was tooo funny, bro in Christ.
----On this topic, 'arranged marriages,' I think they are fine, the Lord leads. Pray about that happening and maybe it will. Delight yourself in the Lord is the FIRST thing you must do (psalms 37:4) and then you will GET the desires of your heart.
It DID work for David, first, he was in trouble for Bathsheba sin but he tore clothes and cried for forgiveness out to God. Did it work? Actually, at first, NO ! David's next child born, died shortly after birth. And, that, is definitely suffereing extreme consequences but David continued to praise God and God called David a man 'pleasing' to Him. That, by, the way, is the same 'pleasing' word God used to refer to His son, Jesus, as God asked John The Baptist to baptize him
P
I was going to pick Liam...but thought against it.....
I will just give you the principle.... it's called the art of elimination..
read a good thread or comment that makes you think -" I like this"
Let's start with age: yall know what age group you wan to marry, compare this with the post writer's age
next: since our forums don't show gender-find out if the person you are considering is the right gender....
if they happen to pass through all these stages and stay in your list.... then you are ready to start the process of getting to know them better....if God says Yes throughout -you will be married in a few months!!!! if you are to wait .. then happily do so
one IMPORTANT thing to remember- YOU SHOULD BE IN AGREEMENT WITH GOD THROUGHOUT THE PROCESS... stage by stage
I will just give you the principle.... it's called the art of elimination..
read a good thread or comment that makes you think -" I like this"
Let's start with age: yall know what age group you wan to marry, compare this with the post writer's age
next: since our forums don't show gender-find out if the person you are considering is the right gender....
if they happen to pass through all these stages and stay in your list.... then you are ready to start the process of getting to know them better....if God says Yes throughout -you will be married in a few months!!!! if you are to wait .. then happily do so
one IMPORTANT thing to remember- YOU SHOULD BE IN AGREEMENT WITH GOD THROUGHOUT THE PROCESS... stage by stage
U
well, i think you sound insensitive & thoughtless. does referring to people having a desire for companionship, especially in this day & age, really 'whining'?
& where is your biblical stance that humans should be traded off like property in the name of marriage? because thats what arranged marriages are. i think if your view of peoples wants & needs are 'whining' & that people should be treated as property you have a long way to go in understanding the heart of God. maybe try turning off the forums & opening your bible.
& where is your biblical stance that humans should be traded off like property in the name of marriage? because thats what arranged marriages are. i think if your view of peoples wants & needs are 'whining' & that people should be treated as property you have a long way to go in understanding the heart of God. maybe try turning off the forums & opening your bible.
S
This below is an article I have found and saved a few years ago. This is just one of many article I have on the topic. I personally lean in this direction and encourage people to at least understand the logic. The way western society portrays this style of marriage is always in a bad light but maybe thats not the case? Maybe theres some missing information being withheld for a more complete reasonable understanding? Shouldn't a good judge look at both sides of a case and not jump to conclusions so quick and judge on reason and truth rather than feelings? It took me a while to completely understand this topic. So I encourage you who have kids to research this issue with the future welfare of your children in mind and not jump to conclusions in a hurry and take "time" to think about it and make a decision based on facts rather than feelings.
God Bless you
_______________________________________________________
Why The Arranged Marriage System is Better
Some Thoughts To Stir up the Matter
The late 90's introduced (at least to my knowledge) the so-called "dating wars" upon the American evangelical scene, largely propelled by the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris (no relation to me that I know of). The Biblical validity and wisdom of the dating system which is taken for granted by our culture was cast into serious doubt for the first time for many born again believers. After Harris' book, and numerous responses and follow-ups that were published, the question became, "Is it bad for Christians to date, or is it good, or is it OK but not ideal, or should we date but just reform our ideas of dating, or should we just go ahead with dating and not be so uptight about it? How about `courtship', what does that word actually mean, how is it different from dating, which is better?"
The "dating wars" seem to have quieted down now in Christian circles. As one friend said, "I kissed Christian dating books goodbye." But even as the fad topic wanes, I think some very interesting questions remain open. In particular, how seriously was the topic of arranged marriage considered in the midst of the dating wars? Now, if I point out the Biblical precedent for the arranged marriage system, you will be correct when you respond that the Bible doesn't say that's the way we must do it. You will be right to point out that just because something was a part of Biblical cultures and stories that we read, doesn't mean God is telling us to do it the same way. Granted, and this will be more thoroughly addressed below. But just stop and think about something. Is it not, at the very least, just a bit "suspicious" that arranged marriage, as an obvious Biblical model, would be NOT EVEN CONSIDERED, whereas dating and courtship, which are arguably totally absent from the Scriptures, would receive all the attention and consideration? Even if the Scriptures by no means mandate arranged marriage, is it not altogether obvious that it is only our cultural bias that has kept the idea from even having any serious hearing in the debate?
Moreover, the standard evangelical feeling towards arranged marriage, from my experience, is along the lines of, "That may have been OK and appropriate in certain cultures and certain times, like in Biblical times, but it is not necessary today (or it is not the best for today, etc.)" But here is a very provocative thought I would urge you to consider. If we accept that arranged marriage was even OK at SOME time in SOME culture, I believe that mere admission itself strikes some profound blows to our modern dating mindset. What I mean by that is that if you merely acknowledge that arranged marriage was "OK" in Biblical times, the consequence of that acknowledgment is the realization that many things we consider "necessary" in the dating system are not at all "necessary." The main "advantage" of the dating system seems to be the opportunity to "check each other out" and "test your personalities" to try to measure your prospective "compatibility", which is deemed as "utterly necessary for a successful marriage." But if you acknowledge that in some time and place arranged marriage was OK, then you have said that in that time and place marriage were able to succeed without the dating process for "compatibility testing." And then if you stop and ask yourself why those marriages in that culture may have been able to succeed without a prior period of dating, you will begin to see the walls of the dating system crumbling down.
A Closer Look
First of all, let's consider what is meant by "arranged marriage." I would suggest that the critical element in various Biblical stories is that the bride is "given in marriage" by her father, older brother, and/or some male kin responsible for her well-being. Just as Eve was given to Adam by God, likewise Bethuel gave Rebekah to Isaac, Laban gave Leah and Rachel to Jacob, Jethro gave Zipporah to Moses, and Caleb gave Achsah to Othniel. Ruth is sometimes cited by those who want to support a mutual "romance" leading up to marriage in the Bible, and granted there may have been a romance between Ruth and Boaz. But do not miss the fact that, once again, the conclusion of the story is when the MEN involved gather in the city gate and determine amongst themselves who is to "acquire Ruth the Moabitess as a wife." (Ruth 4)
So, sometimes the groom-to-be is involved with the bride selection (Jacob, Moses, Othniel, Boaz), and sometimes he is not (Adam and Isaac). But the consistent pattern is that the bride is "given" in marriage, in other words, the conclusive decision on the woman's side comes from the male authorities in her life.
Moving to the NT, we see that Jesus and Paul were not hesitant to use this same sort language. Jesus said that, "in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage." Now stop and think about the way he said that. "They neither marry nor are given in marriage." In English it seems a redundant use of language, we would simply say, "in the resurrection they do not marry." But Jesus said they NEITHER marry NOR are given in marriage. Now, some might want to argue, but I believe the most natural understanding of this, in light of the Old Testament language related to marriage, is that Jesus is saying, "neither will men marry, nor will women be given in marriage." In other words, Jesus is freely using the vocabulary of someone with an arranged marriage mindset. I am NOT saying that Jesus was teaching people to only have arranged marriages, that is not the context. I am simply pointing out that the arranged marriage concept carried on in the New Testament setting.
More clearly, we see this in 1 Corinthians 7. In NASB, 1 Cor 7:36-38 reads, "But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry. But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better." Although NIV gives two possible translations, I think the one in the footnotes makes more sense, Paul is talking about a man choosing to give his daughter in marriage or keep her unmarried.
Now, after all of that, you my reader would be perfectly correct to say, "You have by no means proven that arranged marriage is the `right way' to go for Christians, or even that it is the preferable way." That is absolutely correct, and it is important to note that my case for arranged marriage does NOT rest on merely pointing out the Old and New Testament precedent for it. I think we all agree that just because something was happening in Biblical times doesn't mean God is telling us to do it precisely the same today. Certainly many evil things like murder occur in the Bible (but usually accompanied by negative commentary against these things, whereas arranged marriage doesn't seem to have any negative Scriptural commentary against it). If you are anxiously trying to dismiss the arranged marriage idea in your mind, let me point out what I mentioned earlier. That which has Biblical precedent in narrative, and is not spoken AGAINST in Biblical teaching passages, certainly does not deserve our bias against it. If we are to have a bias, shouldn't it be FAVORABLE towards something which has repeated precedence in Scripture without any negative commentary?
In fact, despite the title of this article, I freely admit that the Bible does not teach any specific model for how marriages should "come about". So, in that sense, I believe the "leading up to marriage process", in and of itself, should be regarded as an area of Christian liberty wherein we do not judge one another for differing views and practices.
However, although the topic is not DIRECTLY addressed, I believe there are plenty of other Biblical principles which do come into play. These principles must be considered, so we cannot simply say that the Bible is silent on the matter, and that we should just do whatever feels right to us. We must at least bring these principles into our consideration.
Some Principles
When we see that the arranged marriage system seems to run throughout the Bible, and anything like the modern dating system seems totally absent, we should ask, "Is there any reason for that, or is it just a meaningless cultural phenomenon?" I think there are several significant and meaningful reasons why we see the arranged marriage system in Scripture, and these should have an effect on our view of it today.
First of all, I believe that God has woven purpose and meaning and pointers to Him into the very fabric of this universe and into the entire script of history, and especially into the script of Jewish history as played out on the world theater and now available for all the nations to read. When it comes to marriage, we know very clearly that marriage exists first of all as a living dramatization of Christ and His church (Eph 5, Gen 2). Does the "arranged" aspect of marriage that we see in Scripture have any part to play in that dramatization? I believe so. "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love He predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will." (Eph 1:3-5) "All that the Father gives me will come to me." (John 6:37) The Father GIVES the church, according to His own sovereign choice, to the Son. We love Him, yes, and we chose Him, yes, but only because He first loved and chose and took us for Himself.
Some people will argue the reverse. They will say that the dramatization of Christ and the church is precisely why the dating system is better than the arranged marriage system. They will say that God/Christ "woos" people to Himself, but then leaves the decision up to their own free will. This is where our theologies significantly depart, but that can only be handled in a separate article. For now, I simply want to point out that upon closer examination, we see a different image of God's "wooing" in Scripture than is commonly assumed. Many of the "wooing" images come from the prophets, such as Isa 65:2/Romans 10:21, "All the day long I have stretched out my hands to a disobedient and obstinate people." Further reflection reveals that God CHOSE Abraham and the nation of Israel, before she was born or had done anything good or bad, and put his love on her and called her His own. The "wooing" images in the Bible generally are not of God trying to win over a bride to Himself, but rather calling back His stubborn and rebellious bride, whom He already chose and took, but who is living an adulterous life.
Next, regarding the principles that come into play "leading up to marriage", is the Biblical authority of the father as head of the household. (Once again, this is simply God's design of writing parables about Himself into the script of human experience, but I won't get into that now.) Some parents nowadays deliberately back off to a great extent from "interfering" in their children's "love lives." Some parents may advise their young adult children on various matters, but when it comes to whom they will marry, they back off as far as possible. That strikes me as the very opposite of wisdom, especially if you are a Christian parent. Other than the decision to follow Christ, there is probably no more significant matter that your child will face than whether to marry, whom to marry, and when. If parents have ANY responsibility whatsoever in guiding and caring for their children, especially young single women, then no doubt marriage is the ONE place that they most definitely SHOULD be involved.
So, getting specific in summary, one reason I say the arranged marriage system is better is that I absolutely do not think that a young woman should be left standing alone with such a weighty, difficult, life-changing decision as marriage in her own hands. Granted, even in America the tradition of a man asking the father's permission to get engaged to his daughter is often still observed. But this is at the very end of the process, when her heart has already been tied to, and crushed by, numerous men. Step up, Christian fathers! You know men better than she does. Hopefully, if you are mature in your Christian faith, you know the Biblical teachings on what makes marriage successful more solidly than she does. If a young man is unsuitable for marriage, keep him away from getting romantically involved with her! If he is suitable for marriage, then provide her some confidence and stability, either by making the decision for her, or at the VERY least by testing the guy out BEFORE they get involved and advising her on his suitability for marriage.
For one more argument in favor of the arranged marriage system, let me return to one of my introductory remarks. EVEN IF the arranged marriage system is not "better", or is not commanded of us today, are you willing to acknowledge that it is even "acceptable" in some cultures, that it is even OK "in some times and places"? Were Isaac and Rebekah doomed to a miserable marriage because they never met before the wedding? No, I would argue that arranged marriages in Biblical times were far more likely to "succeed" than modern American "love marriages." Why? Partly because people in an arranged marriage society go into it with the awareness that they are going to have to WORK AT understanding and appreciating each other. If an apparent "compatibility match" is not what got them married then "incompatibility" is no longer a reason for divorce.
To the modern American mind, if the idea of "arranged marriage" is suggested it is immediately on trial and bears the burden of proof to show its validity in light of the "superior" dating system. But what if we, as Christians, considered the matter from another perspective. What if, instead of assuming the validity of dating and courtship, both of these systems were put on trial and had to defend themselves? Say we assume that dating and courtship are not inherently bad, but then we ask, "What BENEFIT do they have to offer that could make them preferable over, say, arrange marriage?" I think the primary "benefit" that would be suggested in favor of dating and courtship is that it gives people the opportunity to "see if they are a good match". But as I have argued in The `Marriage Compatibility' Fallacy , that mindset is actually COUNTER-productive. The obsession with "finding a good match" actually RUINS marriages, rather than saves them. So, if the BEST thing that the dating and courtship systems have to offer is something actually destructive and harmful, then I am not too keen on those systems.
(((((continued in next post...)))))
S
(((((continued from previous post)))))
I carefully selected the title, "Why The Arranged Marriage System is Better" because I know full well that arranged marriages THEMSELVES need not be any better than marriages that have come about any other way. It is true that arranged marriage societies have much, much lower divorce rates, and that most people from such societies today are simply shocked at the frequency of divorce in the West. However, the much lower divorce rate does NOT mean that does not mean that arranged marriages are "good" or "successful" by any suitable Biblical measure. Husbands in arranged marriages are not necessarily loving their wives sacrificially, as Christ loved the church, any more or any less than husbands in marriage that came about through dating. As I've noted before, the Bible has much more explicit teaching in guiding our marriages than in guiding how those marriages will come about.
So I don't want to paint a picture of beautiful marriages in arranged marriage socities. By no means. There is deep sin and ugliness in both arranged marriage societies and in dating societies. Most importantly, when it comes to matters of marriage for us as Christians, is to think Jesus. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her. Our first and foremost thought about marriage should be, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus." As we meditate on Jesus, especially for us men, I cannot imagine how we would justify "testing a girl out" and then dumping her when we get tired of her or decide that we're "just not a good match." I personally am not capable of "thinking Jesus" and picturing the dating system at the same time. On the other hand, I CAN "think Jesus" and at the same time picture taking a wife, and loving her wholeheartedly and sacrificially, and leading and guiding her as we follow God, and taking us through whatever struggles of "incompatibility" might come up, without wavering or even considering letting her go.
If one of you can explain to me how you are able to "think Jesus" and at the same time follow a dating or courtship system that says, "I'm going to test and see how easy it is for me to love you, and see how quickly I get tired of you, if it gets too difficult I'm going to let you go." If you are able to think Jesus and think dating system at the same time, please explain to me how. I can't do it.
So again, even if, for the sake of argument, we agree that dating and courtship are "OK", I ask what benefit do they have to offer? And whatever potential "benefits" they may have to offer, are these "benefits" truly Biblical values? And if the "benefits" that dating and courtship have to offer are truly Biblical values, why is there no hint of suggestion in the Bible that the arranged marriage system we read in the narratives is flawed and should preferably be replaced by something better?
The Practical Reality
Many Christian women will have fathers who are not believers. These fathers may be more interested in their daughters marrying a "worldy successful" man than a godly man. Or she may have a father who absolutely refuses to "get involved". I realize that the ideal picture of a god-fearing father who finds a god-fearing young man to whom to give his daughter in marriage will in many cases not be possible. But my attempt in this article is simply to make the case for the ideal picture.(* See below) Dealing with the sub-ideal reality we live in is one thing, not even having the ideal picture in mind is another.
What do you do if you are a young woman with no god-fearing man who is taking responsibility to look out for you in these matters? What to do if you are a young man, and the girl's father refuses to get involved - how then do you approach her? As with all of life, there are difficult issues to struggle with. I won't attempt to answer all possible scenarios here. (If anyone wants to discuss, write me an email.) But here I have simply suggested a new perspective and new direction in which we can head, and some principles we can consider along the way.
Let me reemphasize my main point in summary, for I know how easily my statements could be misrepresented. I do not think that proper Biblical interpretation would lead us to conclude that Christians must use the arranged marriage system. If anyone's response to this essay is to say, "Oh but just because arranged marriage is in the Bible doesn't mean we must do the same today," then clearly they haven't read what I have written. And yet, although the Bible does not command it for us, I certainly don't see that anything in Scripture would turn us away from the arranged marriage model. But on the contrary, the arranged marriage model is in fact very much in line with Biblical principles about how godly families operate. And indeed, I have a hard time to see what advantages other models (such as dating and courtship) have to offer.
The Bible does not mandate the arranged marriage model. But what if we approached the Scripture without our heavy cultural bias against arranged marriage. Would we find reason to reject arranged marriage? Would we find convincing evidence to persuade us towards the benefits of courtship or dating?
* For Christians living for Christ, singleness is, in the absolute sense, the greater "ideal", for those who are "able" (1 Cor 7). When I speak of a godly arranged marriage system as being the "ideal picture" I am speaking in contrast to dating and courtship systems. I do believe that the arranged marriage system is a preferable ideal over the dating system, but for those who are "able" to remain single, that is the most ideal of all.
I carefully selected the title, "Why The Arranged Marriage System is Better" because I know full well that arranged marriages THEMSELVES need not be any better than marriages that have come about any other way. It is true that arranged marriage societies have much, much lower divorce rates, and that most people from such societies today are simply shocked at the frequency of divorce in the West. However, the much lower divorce rate does NOT mean that does not mean that arranged marriages are "good" or "successful" by any suitable Biblical measure. Husbands in arranged marriages are not necessarily loving their wives sacrificially, as Christ loved the church, any more or any less than husbands in marriage that came about through dating. As I've noted before, the Bible has much more explicit teaching in guiding our marriages than in guiding how those marriages will come about.
So I don't want to paint a picture of beautiful marriages in arranged marriage socities. By no means. There is deep sin and ugliness in both arranged marriage societies and in dating societies. Most importantly, when it comes to matters of marriage for us as Christians, is to think Jesus. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her. Our first and foremost thought about marriage should be, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus." As we meditate on Jesus, especially for us men, I cannot imagine how we would justify "testing a girl out" and then dumping her when we get tired of her or decide that we're "just not a good match." I personally am not capable of "thinking Jesus" and picturing the dating system at the same time. On the other hand, I CAN "think Jesus" and at the same time picture taking a wife, and loving her wholeheartedly and sacrificially, and leading and guiding her as we follow God, and taking us through whatever struggles of "incompatibility" might come up, without wavering or even considering letting her go.
If one of you can explain to me how you are able to "think Jesus" and at the same time follow a dating or courtship system that says, "I'm going to test and see how easy it is for me to love you, and see how quickly I get tired of you, if it gets too difficult I'm going to let you go." If you are able to think Jesus and think dating system at the same time, please explain to me how. I can't do it.
So again, even if, for the sake of argument, we agree that dating and courtship are "OK", I ask what benefit do they have to offer? And whatever potential "benefits" they may have to offer, are these "benefits" truly Biblical values? And if the "benefits" that dating and courtship have to offer are truly Biblical values, why is there no hint of suggestion in the Bible that the arranged marriage system we read in the narratives is flawed and should preferably be replaced by something better?
The Practical Reality
Many Christian women will have fathers who are not believers. These fathers may be more interested in their daughters marrying a "worldy successful" man than a godly man. Or she may have a father who absolutely refuses to "get involved". I realize that the ideal picture of a god-fearing father who finds a god-fearing young man to whom to give his daughter in marriage will in many cases not be possible. But my attempt in this article is simply to make the case for the ideal picture.(* See below) Dealing with the sub-ideal reality we live in is one thing, not even having the ideal picture in mind is another.
What do you do if you are a young woman with no god-fearing man who is taking responsibility to look out for you in these matters? What to do if you are a young man, and the girl's father refuses to get involved - how then do you approach her? As with all of life, there are difficult issues to struggle with. I won't attempt to answer all possible scenarios here. (If anyone wants to discuss, write me an email.) But here I have simply suggested a new perspective and new direction in which we can head, and some principles we can consider along the way.
Let me reemphasize my main point in summary, for I know how easily my statements could be misrepresented. I do not think that proper Biblical interpretation would lead us to conclude that Christians must use the arranged marriage system. If anyone's response to this essay is to say, "Oh but just because arranged marriage is in the Bible doesn't mean we must do the same today," then clearly they haven't read what I have written. And yet, although the Bible does not command it for us, I certainly don't see that anything in Scripture would turn us away from the arranged marriage model. But on the contrary, the arranged marriage model is in fact very much in line with Biblical principles about how godly families operate. And indeed, I have a hard time to see what advantages other models (such as dating and courtship) have to offer.
The Bible does not mandate the arranged marriage model. But what if we approached the Scripture without our heavy cultural bias against arranged marriage. Would we find reason to reject arranged marriage? Would we find convincing evidence to persuade us towards the benefits of courtship or dating?
* For Christians living for Christ, singleness is, in the absolute sense, the greater "ideal", for those who are "able" (1 Cor 7). When I speak of a godly arranged marriage system as being the "ideal picture" I am speaking in contrast to dating and courtship systems. I do believe that the arranged marriage system is a preferable ideal over the dating system, but for those who are "able" to remain single, that is the most ideal of all.
Very Good Read.
I'm agree with a lot of what you said. However, I think the disconnect occurs because we are a (Western Educated Independent Republic Democracy) Weird society. Part of that, is that we value our independence and our ability to be self reliant. We have lost the connection of Family that is intrinsic to allow the level of trust necessary for us to subject ourselves to being arranged in marriage. We are taught to take personal responsibility for our lives at very young ages so as to shed the use and necessity of our Parents.
Being that Marriage is viewed as the most important decision a person makes in their natural life, it is hard for me to reconcile surrendering that much power over my own life to someone who may or may not understand critical concepts of how life direction works. When I was Child my mother would buy me clothes that in her clothes buying wisdom would eventually fit. She understood the concept of physical growth and that what I wanted at one moment may not be correct for the inevitable future. However this same power could in turn be a curse, "I know she's a little big now but, you'll grow into her. Eventually you will learn to love her."
At the time the Bible was written to be a Christian was to be an Endangered species. It was far from the most prevalent Faith on the planet. To find two persons who shared a belief that radically changed their life and that they were willing to die for was enough. Today, God has different directions for different people. I'm not saying that I'm pro-compatibility but, I am pro-life direction. If I am to be a missionary and my wife wants to be a Homemaker, we are going to be bitter. Her, for not having been given enough Children and Me for not having done enough.
I believe that God made women to be Men's accomplices. I believe that they should share whatever passion drives them. This should not be forced or coerced but, should be done out of love. I'm not suggesting that an Arranged Marriage is a forced one but, I don't know that it has a place in Western or Evangelical Culture. I am curious to know how it would implemented though.
I'm agree with a lot of what you said. However, I think the disconnect occurs because we are a (Western Educated Independent Republic Democracy) Weird society. Part of that, is that we value our independence and our ability to be self reliant. We have lost the connection of Family that is intrinsic to allow the level of trust necessary for us to subject ourselves to being arranged in marriage. We are taught to take personal responsibility for our lives at very young ages so as to shed the use and necessity of our Parents.
Being that Marriage is viewed as the most important decision a person makes in their natural life, it is hard for me to reconcile surrendering that much power over my own life to someone who may or may not understand critical concepts of how life direction works. When I was Child my mother would buy me clothes that in her clothes buying wisdom would eventually fit. She understood the concept of physical growth and that what I wanted at one moment may not be correct for the inevitable future. However this same power could in turn be a curse, "I know she's a little big now but, you'll grow into her. Eventually you will learn to love her."
At the time the Bible was written to be a Christian was to be an Endangered species. It was far from the most prevalent Faith on the planet. To find two persons who shared a belief that radically changed their life and that they were willing to die for was enough. Today, God has different directions for different people. I'm not saying that I'm pro-compatibility but, I am pro-life direction. If I am to be a missionary and my wife wants to be a Homemaker, we are going to be bitter. Her, for not having been given enough Children and Me for not having done enough.
I believe that God made women to be Men's accomplices. I believe that they should share whatever passion drives them. This should not be forced or coerced but, should be done out of love. I'm not suggesting that an Arranged Marriage is a forced one but, I don't know that it has a place in Western or Evangelical Culture. I am curious to know how it would implemented though.
S
Hey brother, Im blessed you liked it!
I agree that it should not be forced or coerced and must be dont out of love for the children sake not for money. I agree that it hardly has a place in our western society. Its just demonized all over hollywood. Always portrayed in a bad light. I believe it can make a come back if it gets enough attention and fair research and if america moves away from feminism.
I think I would immplement it a synergistic way. My child and my wife and I can elect candidates together and have a list of qualities of the ideal man or woman put together by the 3 of us. In the end the decision would lie with the child with the approval of the parents in unity. The challenge would be finding other like minded parents. Our coulture in my opinion is anti Arranged marriage and even anti courtship and pro-dating. Culture has alot to do with this style of marriage as we see in India it is the norm. Another challenge in my opinion is also feminism. Feminism, I learned from Kay Arthur a speaker on christian marriages, is the biggest cause of the rampancy of divorce.
Hulu - Arranged - Watch the full movie now.
Thats a link to a movie based on the subject. I would go about it similarly if I choose to proceed with implementing this in my own family. Good movie about the subject but I in no way endorse Judaism or Islam. I am a bible believing Christian who believes that following Jesus commands is the only way to be saved from sin and damnation.
I agree that it should not be forced or coerced and must be dont out of love for the children sake not for money. I agree that it hardly has a place in our western society. Its just demonized all over hollywood. Always portrayed in a bad light. I believe it can make a come back if it gets enough attention and fair research and if america moves away from feminism.
I think I would immplement it a synergistic way. My child and my wife and I can elect candidates together and have a list of qualities of the ideal man or woman put together by the 3 of us. In the end the decision would lie with the child with the approval of the parents in unity. The challenge would be finding other like minded parents. Our coulture in my opinion is anti Arranged marriage and even anti courtship and pro-dating. Culture has alot to do with this style of marriage as we see in India it is the norm. Another challenge in my opinion is also feminism. Feminism, I learned from Kay Arthur a speaker on christian marriages, is the biggest cause of the rampancy of divorce.
Hulu - Arranged - Watch the full movie now.
Thats a link to a movie based on the subject. I would go about it similarly if I choose to proceed with implementing this in my own family. Good movie about the subject but I in no way endorse Judaism or Islam. I am a bible believing Christian who believes that following Jesus commands is the only way to be saved from sin and damnation.
S
What bible verse is that?
Most arranged marriages are not forced. That is the stereotype Hollywood always portrays and they never give a fair understanding.
The man and the woman have a personal desire to be married and have a say whether or not they like the candidate being presented by their parents. They can reject the parents choice if they want. I would not let my child marry someone they do not agree to. There is love in Arranged marrige, its love of choice (like Agape) rather than wishy washy emotional love. Still yet Emotional love develops very soon into the union. But the foundation of a choice looking out for the best interest of their spouse is more solid than an feelings type of love which is very unstable and comes and goes with circumstances.
Biblical love is based on Agape not emotional love.
Brother, I hope you can understand the topic enough to make a sound judgment. Jumping to conclusions too quickly is prejudice.
Regardless of what type of system leads to a marriage(arranged, courtship, dating), the marriage is lifelong covenant between 1 man and 1 woman to the death.
Most arranged marriages are not forced. That is the stereotype Hollywood always portrays and they never give a fair understanding.
The man and the woman have a personal desire to be married and have a say whether or not they like the candidate being presented by their parents. They can reject the parents choice if they want. I would not let my child marry someone they do not agree to. There is love in Arranged marrige, its love of choice (like Agape) rather than wishy washy emotional love. Still yet Emotional love develops very soon into the union. But the foundation of a choice looking out for the best interest of their spouse is more solid than an feelings type of love which is very unstable and comes and goes with circumstances.
Biblical love is based on Agape not emotional love.
Brother, I hope you can understand the topic enough to make a sound judgment. Jumping to conclusions too quickly is prejudice.
Regardless of what type of system leads to a marriage(arranged, courtship, dating), the marriage is lifelong covenant between 1 man and 1 woman to the death.