V
Kcat, are you feeling like I’m trying to judge you? Because if that is how your feeling, I’m not and I’m sorry that you feel that way. The thing is, I’m concerned for you, because I can see things that you may not see, based upon experience of what I’ve seen happened to friends, and in some ways, my life, when I chose to not listen to the advise of others. I am not trying to accuse you of doing or not doing anything.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-22 tells us we are to examine carefully everything. When I said to step back and take a break, this is to allow you a time to examine the situation from another angle. To ask God questions. In no way am I saying break up. Instead, give yourself a rest period. This can be a few days to a few weeks.
One friend of mine ended up enduring a rocky marriage for several years. She had been dating him for several months before eloping with him. The young man grew up in church, was supposedly a Godly young man. Her family absolutely adored him. Yet not all of her friends felt he was truly grounded in God. Over the years she has endured emotional abuse and neglect. She began to lose respect in herself, because her husband did not value her, and that showed in the way she handled things. Many of her friends kept telling her to leave because he was emotionally abusing her, but she did not see it, because she was so wrapped up in the situation. Towards the end of their marriage, she caught him sleeping with another woman. In addition to that, he began to become physically abusive to her. All this happened because she rushed into a marriage.
I’m not saying that your relationship with your boyfriend will end up in the same situation at all. Every relationship is different. However, if you rush into things, then it can become 10 times harder.
When I asked you to make sure to ask the following questions, in no way was I saying that you have not asked them. It’s simply some things that should be considered that a lot of women do not always think about. If you have, then great.
1. Is he a Godly leader?
When I ask about being a Godly leader, I’m not talking about within the church, but within your relationship. I, as well as many others on here, believe that men are to be the Leaders of the family. And for Christian men, that means they should be Godly leaders. That does not mean they hold judgment over everyone, nor does it mean the husband will be right over everything. Instead, a man who is a Godly leader will love God first and foremost, then love his wife second, and family third. He will strive to do what’s right at all times. He may fall, but goes to God in repentance. He will discuss major issues with his wife, but in the end his decision is the final one. And because he makes the final decision he is also the one who holds the most responsibility in the family. 1 Cor 11:3-12, 1 Peter 3:1-7, Ephesians 5:25-33,
2. Does he work within the church? i.e. Sunday School teacher, prayer ministry ....
When I ask, does he work within the church, I’m not referring to someone who is being paid to work, but instead, someone who is trying to serve God both in his church and local community. Since you mentioned that neither one of you currently have a church home, then, if he has attended in the past, has he in same way served within the church. You ask for Biblical References, here are ones that show that not only are we commanded to by God to be witnesses, but why. And that God gives us gifts to serve Him. Matt 28:16-20, Mark 16:15, Romans 10:14-15, Romans 12:6-8
3. What is his prayer life like?
God does call us to pray. Prayer is not for Him to know our wills, but to allow us to restore our relationship, to strengthen our communication with God, to allow ourselves to be open to God to hear what He has to say. Matt 6:9-15Ephesians 8:1820, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-22
4. What is his Bible Study life like?
The question could be asked, why should we study the Bible? Why should we know what’s in the Bible? By knowing what the Bible says, we have a better understanding of what God says. Not only that, but in times, when we are struggling, we can recall what Scripture says and use it as a weapon, and as a shield to protect us from temptation, to guard our hearts, and to give us comfort. Psalm 119:11, Matt 4:4, 2 Tim 2:15, Ephesians 6:10-17, Rev 1:3
5. Are there areas that you see that concern you?
The Bible teaches that marriage is to be considered a sacred vow between God, the Husband and the Wife. Both Jules and Myst gave you verses in the Bible that specifically talk about how divorce should be handled. Yes, it is true that divorce is not of God, and that Moses allowed it originally, because of the hardness of man’s heart. When Christ was talking of divorce, He was not giving permission but re-establishing the restrictions for divorce, which is what Jules mentioned. So, when I ask women to ask themselves if there are areas of concern, this is because once you are married, it’s so much harder for you to divorce. And before you consider marriage, it’s important to have things settled to have an understanding about different things.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-22 tells us we are to examine carefully everything. When I said to step back and take a break, this is to allow you a time to examine the situation from another angle. To ask God questions. In no way am I saying break up. Instead, give yourself a rest period. This can be a few days to a few weeks.
One friend of mine ended up enduring a rocky marriage for several years. She had been dating him for several months before eloping with him. The young man grew up in church, was supposedly a Godly young man. Her family absolutely adored him. Yet not all of her friends felt he was truly grounded in God. Over the years she has endured emotional abuse and neglect. She began to lose respect in herself, because her husband did not value her, and that showed in the way she handled things. Many of her friends kept telling her to leave because he was emotionally abusing her, but she did not see it, because she was so wrapped up in the situation. Towards the end of their marriage, she caught him sleeping with another woman. In addition to that, he began to become physically abusive to her. All this happened because she rushed into a marriage.
I’m not saying that your relationship with your boyfriend will end up in the same situation at all. Every relationship is different. However, if you rush into things, then it can become 10 times harder.
When I asked you to make sure to ask the following questions, in no way was I saying that you have not asked them. It’s simply some things that should be considered that a lot of women do not always think about. If you have, then great.
1. Is he a Godly leader?
When I ask about being a Godly leader, I’m not talking about within the church, but within your relationship. I, as well as many others on here, believe that men are to be the Leaders of the family. And for Christian men, that means they should be Godly leaders. That does not mean they hold judgment over everyone, nor does it mean the husband will be right over everything. Instead, a man who is a Godly leader will love God first and foremost, then love his wife second, and family third. He will strive to do what’s right at all times. He may fall, but goes to God in repentance. He will discuss major issues with his wife, but in the end his decision is the final one. And because he makes the final decision he is also the one who holds the most responsibility in the family. 1 Cor 11:3-12, 1 Peter 3:1-7, Ephesians 5:25-33,
2. Does he work within the church? i.e. Sunday School teacher, prayer ministry ....
When I ask, does he work within the church, I’m not referring to someone who is being paid to work, but instead, someone who is trying to serve God both in his church and local community. Since you mentioned that neither one of you currently have a church home, then, if he has attended in the past, has he in same way served within the church. You ask for Biblical References, here are ones that show that not only are we commanded to by God to be witnesses, but why. And that God gives us gifts to serve Him. Matt 28:16-20, Mark 16:15, Romans 10:14-15, Romans 12:6-8
3. What is his prayer life like?
God does call us to pray. Prayer is not for Him to know our wills, but to allow us to restore our relationship, to strengthen our communication with God, to allow ourselves to be open to God to hear what He has to say. Matt 6:9-15Ephesians 8:1820, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-22
4. What is his Bible Study life like?
The question could be asked, why should we study the Bible? Why should we know what’s in the Bible? By knowing what the Bible says, we have a better understanding of what God says. Not only that, but in times, when we are struggling, we can recall what Scripture says and use it as a weapon, and as a shield to protect us from temptation, to guard our hearts, and to give us comfort. Psalm 119:11, Matt 4:4, 2 Tim 2:15, Ephesians 6:10-17, Rev 1:3
5. Are there areas that you see that concern you?
The Bible teaches that marriage is to be considered a sacred vow between God, the Husband and the Wife. Both Jules and Myst gave you verses in the Bible that specifically talk about how divorce should be handled. Yes, it is true that divorce is not of God, and that Moses allowed it originally, because of the hardness of man’s heart. When Christ was talking of divorce, He was not giving permission but re-establishing the restrictions for divorce, which is what Jules mentioned. So, when I ask women to ask themselves if there are areas of concern, this is because once you are married, it’s so much harder for you to divorce. And before you consider marriage, it’s important to have things settled to have an understanding about different things.
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