Need help with purity

[KCat]

Hi, fellow believers! I'm new here and I need some help from some of you. I grew up in a Christian home, but right now, at 29 years of age, I can't find a good church around where I live, so I am not plugged in anywhere. I guess this is my best bet as far as crying out for some help from other Christians. Yeah, I know... there's no substitute for real relationships, but a chat room is all I've got right now.

I just have a real problem here. I've been dating this wonderful guy for about 9 months now. A family that I babysit for set me up with him because, of course, they thought we'd hit it off and make a great match. He has a great heart, he's responsible, dependable, ready to settle down, my family loves him, everyone loves him. He's full of life and we have a wonderful time together. We are great together in so many ways. He wants to marry me and I want to marry him. Things look good on the outside, BUT something is wrong that I don't know how to fix and make right with God.

You see, I have rarely ever dated because I always had very high standards for purity and never met anyone that had those same standards. I was not even kissed until I was 25.

Long story short, I met him, started dating him. After 2 months, we ended up sleeping together. Yes, I kept myself until age 29 and screwed it up. I told him how awful I felt about it and he says he feels bad too, but I don't think NEARLY as bad as I do. I asked him what he thought was "too far" for a christian, and he said "intercourse." I feel awful because my values on purity are so different from that and I can't believe I compromised myself soooooo much. I have not ended things with him because I talked some of my concerns over with my mother and we agreed there were so many other things that were so great about our relationship, that it would be a shame to just throw it away.

Although I did stop having intercourse with him, he is always trying to push the limits and it is very difficult for me because he is so great in so many other ways except this area. I want my relationship to be centered on Christ and I don't think it can be if the mindset is "physically, everything is ok for us to do except for intercourse"

How do I turn this around without it being a huge culture shock. I mean, how on earth can I work this through?! He is always so excited about us getting married and telling me how he doesn't know what he would do without me, but I feel like I am grievously disobeying God by letting things go on like this. I am soooo conflicted!!!!

 

[LightningClap0002]

Don't disobey God. No matter what.

I gotta run now... more on this later.

 

[frankleespeaking]

Hi, fellow believers! I'm new here and I need some help from some of you. I grew up in a Christian home, but right now, at 29 years of age, I can't find a good church around where I live, so I am not plugged in anywhere. I guess this is my best bet as far as crying out for some help from other Christians. Yeah, I know... there's no substitute for real relationships, but a chat room is all I've got right now.

I just have a real problem here. I've been dating this wonderful guy for about 9 months now. A family that I babysit for set me up with him because, of course, they thought we'd hit it off and make a great match. He has a great heart, he's responsible, dependable, ready to settle down, my family loves him, everyone loves him. He's full of life and we have a wonderful time together. We are great together in so many ways. He wants to marry me and I want to marry him. Things look good on the outside, BUT something is wrong that I don't know how to fix and make right with God.

You see, I have rarely ever dated because I always had very high standards for purity and never met anyone that had those same standards. I was not even kissed until I was 25.

Long story short, I met him, started dating him. After 2 months, we ended up sleeping together. Yes, I kept myself until age 29 and screwed it up. I told him how awful I felt about it and he says he feels bad too, but I don't think NEARLY as bad as I do. I asked him what he thought was "too far" for a christian, and he said "intercourse." I feel awful because my values on purity are so different from that and I can't believe I compromised myself soooooo much. I have not ended things with him because I talked some of my concerns over with my mother and we agreed there were so many other things that were so great about our relationship, that it would be a shame to just throw it away.

Although I did stop having intercourse with him, he is always trying to push the limits and it is very difficult for me because he is so great in so many other ways except this area. I want my relationship to be centered on Christ and I don't think it can be if the mindset is "physically, everything is ok for us to do except for intercourse"

How do I turn this around without it being a huge culture shock. I mean, how on earth can I work this through?! He is always so excited about us getting married and telling me how he doesn't know what he would do without me, but I feel like I am grievously disobeying God by letting things go on like this. I am soooo conflicted!!!!

ummm!......if you love him why not just get married.....your of legal age to make such decisions

 

[twinkles]

Hey Kcat...

I know exactly what you talking about. I just ended my 7month relationship with a guy that sounds just like your boyfriend. It took me a long time to break things of with him. We kept breaking up because of the sex "thing" and then got back together cause he said he would have more self control etc. Nothing changed, we kept doing the nasty. My family also adores him. I just had to decide for myself and leave the relationship, because i knew i was making God sad. I was living a double standard life. Im not over him, its been only a couple of days, but i praise God that he has given me the strength till today.


Read this poem.. by Janette ( I will wait for you)

So it seemed, that it was cool, fo cool, for everyone to be in a relationship but me..
So I took matters into my own hands… and ended up with him
Him who displayed the characteristics of a CHEATER, a LIAR, an ABUSER, & a THEIF
So.. why was I surprised when he broke into my heart?
I called 911, but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abetting,
Cause it was ME who let him in…
Claiming we were “just friends”..
It was already decided for me by the first date, that even if he wasn’t the one!
I was gonna make him ‘The One’..
You know… I was tired of being alone,
And I simply made up in my mind, that it was about that time so I decided to drag him along for the ride,
Cause I was always the bridesmaid & never the bride..
A virgin in the physical, but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat!
Who was tired of the wait!
So I was gonna make him ‘The One’.
He had a… form of Godliness… but not much..
But hey, hey I can change him! So (honey) I’ll TAKE him, I mean he’s close… enough
Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter, not knowing the value of its use to me
Arties so clogged with MY will, it blocked HIS Will from flowing through me
So, I thank Christ that His blood pressure gave this heart an attack,
That flatlined my obscured vision, put me flat on my back
Through my ignorance He sawed,
Through my sternum He sawed & cracked open my chest
TO transplant Psalm 51:10
A new heart & a renewed right spirit within!
So now I fully understand,
Better yet I thoroughly comprehend,
How much I NEED to wait… for You.
See, the bad thing is that I knew he wasn’t you from the beginning..
Cause in the beginning was the Word
And he didn’t even sound or shine like Your Son
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,
And all he could whisper was sweet, empty nothings –
Which meant NOTHING.
He couldn’t even pray when I NEEDED him to
Asking him to fast would be absurd!
So forget about being cleansed & washed with water through the Word…
But I know You.. ♥
You were already praying for me
Even never having met me
Let me assure you, I will wait for you.
I will no longer date, socialize or communicate with carbon copies of you
To appease my boredom or to quench my thirstiness I have for attention
And short-lived compliments from ‘sorta kindas’.
You know…. He ‘sort kinda’ right, but ‘sorta kinda’ wrong?
His first name LUKE,
His last name WARM.
I, I won’t settle for false companionship
I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms,
Attempting to find some closeness,
But never feeling so far apart cause, I just wanna be held
Cause ♫”all I gotta do is Say” No!
NO more ‘almost sessions’ of ‘almost coming close’
Passing winks & buying drinks,
I’ma, I’ma, I’ma flirt!♫
Who flirts with the ideology of,
‘Can you just tell me how much I can get away with & still be saved?’
NO more.
I’ll stay in my bed… alone, and write poems, about how I will wait for you
He won’t even come close,
Our fingers won’t even interlock
We won’t even exchange breath
Cause I have thoughts that I’ve ‘saved as’ in a file that God has only equipped you to open.
I will no longer get weighted down,
From so-called friends & family talks,
About the concern for my biological clock
When I serve the Author of Time.
Who is NOT subject to time,
But I’M subject to Him,
He has the ability to STOP, FAST FORWARD, PAUSE, or REWIND at any given time…
So if we could role play,
You would be Abraham & I would be Sara
Or you can be Isaac & I can be Rebecca – a servant’s answered prayer
I am bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh,
Made up of your rib Adam!
And once we meet, like electrons
I will be bound to your nucleus, completely indivisible atom.
We even speak the same math: 1 + 1 + 1 = 3, which really equals 1 if you add Him.
We were all created in His image,
But you have the ability to reflect, project & even detect the Son.
If I were to explain what you looked like,
You would have to look like a star,
A son of the Son..
I would gain energy simply from the light on me.
I would need you , in order to complete my photosynthesis
I await your revelation, but once again from the genesis, I will wait for you ♥
And I will know you… because when you speak I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom,
Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses,
Your faith will remind me of Abraham,
Your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel,
Your inspiration will remind me of Paul,
Your heart for God will remind me of David,
Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah,
Your integrity will remind me of Joseph,
And your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples,
But Your ability to love selflessly & unconditionally will remind me of Christ.
But I won’t need to identify you by any special Matthews or any special Marks,
Cause His word will be tatted all over your heart.
And you will know me, and you will find me,
Where… the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth.
Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary,
Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hanna.
I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31… waiting for you.
But to my Father, my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth
Only if you should see fit…
I desire Your will above mine,
So even if you call me to a life of singleness,
My heart is content with YOU – the One who was sent.
YOU are the greatest love story ever told,
The greatest story ever known
You are forever my judge & I’m forever Your witness
And I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business
Oh, I will always be Yours!
And I will always wait for You Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning…
More than the watchmen wait for the morning… I WILL WAIT ♥

Just practice purity, when it gets tough leave... do everything to avoid making God sad. The flesh is weak, you cant trust it and its lies...

Ask your boyfriend, who does he love more-You or God. You will know what to do next with whatever he answers. Its a very simple answer

I will pray for you, cause i know what you talking about...

 

[LightningClap0002]

Hi, fellow believers! I'm new here and I need some help from some of you. I grew up in a Christian home, but right now, at 29 years of age, I can't find a good church around where I live, so I am not plugged in anywhere. I guess this is my best bet as far as crying out for some help from other Christians. Yeah, I know... there's no substitute for real relationships, but a chat room is all I've got right now.

I'm in a similar situation, but for very different reasons. It's tough. I hope you can find a church soon!

I just have a real problem here. I've been dating this wonderful guy for about 9 months now. A family that I babysit for set me up with him because, of course, they thought we'd hit it off and make a great match. He has a great heart, he's responsible, dependable, ready to settle down, my family loves him, everyone loves him. He's full of life and we have a wonderful time together. We are great together in so many ways. He wants to marry me and I want to marry him. Things look good on the outside, BUT something is wrong that I don't know how to fix and make right with God.

You see, I have rarely ever dated because I always had very high standards for purity and never met anyone that had those same standards. I was not even kissed until I was 25.

I'm still amazed how quickly sex can come into the picture. It took me 2 years of friendship, plus 8 months to first kiss my gf. 6 months later we had sex for the first time.

Long story short, I met him, started dating him. After 2 months, we ended up sleeping together. Yes, I kept myself until age 29 and screwed it up. I told him how awful I felt about it and he says he feels bad too, but I don't think NEARLY as bad as I do. I asked him what he thought was "too far" for a christian, and he said "intercourse." I feel awful because my values on purity are so different from that and I can't believe I compromised myself soooooo much. I have not ended things with him because I talked some of my concerns over with my mother and we agreed there were so many other things that were so great about our relationship, that it would be a shame to just throw it away.

Although I did stop having intercourse with him, he is always trying to push the limits and it is very difficult for me because he is so great in so many other ways except this area. I want my relationship to be centered on Christ and I don't think it can be if the mindset is "physically, everything is ok for us to do except for intercourse"

In my experiences, once that boundary is crossed, there is no going back. Maybe you are incredibly strong and can beat him back. But unless he is just short of a eunuch, I doubt he will ever stop

How do I turn this around without it being a huge culture shock. I mean, how on earth can I work this through?! He is always so excited about us getting married and telling me how he doesn't know what he would do without me, but I feel like I am grievously disobeying God by letting things go on like this. I am soooo conflicted!!!!

It sounds like you have two problems here.

1) Sex, and the continued sexual tension that he is exhibiting
2) His mindset regarding sex and sin.

To resolve 1), as mentioned by a previous poster, you could marry him and the sexual tension would become less of a problem. That said, I have a bit of a believe that sex inside of marriage can still be sinful. Not based on specific acts like many fundies, but based on level of desire. To constantly be thinking about having sex with your wife is just as much against God's will as to constantly be thinking about sleeping with your neighbor. If you think he may already have, or easily develop and unhealthy level of sexual desire, RUN!

I think the bigger prblem really is 2) (it seems like you already recognize this). If he views sin as something that is kind of flexible; if he thinks that sex is kind of flexible; it sounds like he isn't really as perfect as you think. In the end, there are a lot of things that don't cause problems in marriages and relationships. It sounds like you hit on a big one there. A small difference in a core belief or worldview will cause a world of more pain than a bunch of annoying pesonality quirks.

God is good, focus on Him and not on sex. The rest will fall into place.

 

[Brandon777]

The rule of thumb for sake of being considerate is to honor the wishes of the person who has the higher conviction. If he's such a great guy then he would do this for you and have the patience to wait until you're married.

 

[Jullianna]

KCat, your family loves him, everybody loves him...but I don't see that you love him. Please don't marry someone just because other people think it's right or because it just seems like a good idea. They don't have to live the rest of their lives with him, you do. Marry him because he's the most special godly man on the planet to you and don't settle for less than that.

I don't see where he's a believer...is he? Is that part of the problem?

Whether you marry him or not, you need to draw a line in the sand about this. Surely he can see how troubled you are about this. If he loves you as he should, he would not want to cause you this kind of stress and heartache. If he won't stop, you need to ask yourself whether he is with you out of love or out of lust.

You have done nothing that can't be forgiven. You've probably already asked, haven't you? But you are having difficulty forgiving yourself, aren't you? God can help you do that if you ask.

There is nothing wrong with having a strong libido and very healthy sex life within a marriage, but a marriage must be based upon far more than that. You really need to find out exactly what this marriage IS based on before you say I do.

We're here for you, but I do hope you find a church. My prayers are with you.

 

[KCat]

Hey guys, thanks so much for your care! My boyfriend and I had a really loooooong chat tonight after he came over to my house after work and found me crying my eyes out over this.

It made me feel better because he expressed to me that he really struggles with keeping his thoughts pure towards me because he is very attracted to me, but that it broke his heart that I was so hurt by his actions towards me. He said, "We have GOT to find a church. We cannot sit in a room together alone laying on the couch and stuff like that anymore. If we are idle like that, it is not good."

He said, "You know, I've always called myself a Christian and felt like premarital sex was wrong, but you have put a new light on it for me because I see what it has done to you... and I've always known deep down it has not been a good thing for me either. I actually respect you even more that you want to hold yourself and our relationship to a higher standard. No, it did not hurt my feelings at all last night when you told me, 'No, I am just NOT doing this or that' That tells me you care about me and our relationship so much that you will not let things get out of hand anymore. You are living your faith. I am not going anywhere if you aren't."

It surprised me when he said all of that because I thought if I set such strict boundaries, it would throw him off and he would not respect it.

I just really do not want to break up with this guy. It would tear me apart. I would end up having to get mental health care for sure. As strange as it is, I really care for this guy so much. I pray to God that He doesn't make me have to leave this man, as odd as that may sound.

 

[NinJaGGS]

According to Jesus Christ, a man commits the sin of adultery with a woman by even glancing at her with lust in his heart, the standards you have set for saving oneself for sex until marriage are not Christ's, but are good and in accordance to the will of God as far as I can see, sinner and all.
The REAL issue, the issue that MUST come up now is what are you doing to change your mind? what about how you were thinking led you to commit the sin? what needs to change to avoid the sin in the future?
There is no place for guilt in the life of Christ. Feeling guilty allows one to avoid repentance and continue on in stagnation, not growing spiritually at all.
God knows what we will do before we choose to do it, he doesn't interfere with our free will out of respect for us, but he knew you would sin like this, just as he knew i would sin with a woman before i did. But look, honestly God has given you this day to change for the better, for YOUR own good.
God doesn't need us to be good, God would still be good if every person were completely satanic, what God needs from us is to wake up to how these sins destroy our life, our love and our relationship with God... God wants us to refrain from sin so that we can live, stop taking poison so we can be well, thats what the real question is.... How did this sin impact my relationship with God? How can I change my mind about what I do so that I may please God by giving to myself a good and righteous life?

 

[mystdancer50]

I have such radical view on purity that it surprises even the most chaste Christians. I saw in my mind one day a few years ago myself being courted. I saw him kiss me on the lips, a "simple" peck, as it were. I then saw myself running to the Pastor and telling him that I couldn't marry the guy because he obviously didn't respect what I stood for, didn't value purity the way I did. God asked me, "What would you really do if that happened?" I responded, "I honestly don't know, God, just don't let it happen."

Now, years later, God has led me to the place where it won't happen. He is first in my life, my purity is next on the list of most valuable and important things in my life. I am 32 and still pure by the grace of God and His amazing wisdom. My advice is this: break it off, at least until you are both firmly rooted in Christ and in a solid church home. You have already burned yourself playing with fire. Learn the lesson and seek godly wisdom and purity. Don't stay in the fire pit. Get out. The time apart may not be forever...or God may show you things you can't see this close to the relationship. Wait on God.

Just my thoughts...

 

[NinJaGGS]

No one is pure in the eyes of God.

 

[GreenNnice]

Mystdancer: My advice is this: break it off, at least until you are both firmly rooted in Christ and in a solid church home. You have already burned yourself playing with fire. Learn the lesson and seek godly wisdom and purity.

Don't stay in the fire pit. Get out. The time apart may not be forever...or God may show you things you can't see this close to the relationship. Wait on God

__________-
OKKAt, Yes, I am glad someone elsee said the red highlighted area so I don't have to look like the bad guy, not that mystygirl, looks like a bad guy umm,, maybe a bad girl but not a bad...

This is a serious subject so I don't want to be tooo flippant but I am both begging you to first PRAY to God TONIGHT for His direction for you in this matter of continuing with this guy and exhorting you to LOOK at what's happened so far with this guy in your relationship. I heard his apology and that ONLY gives me hope, like Myst says, that your time apart MAY not be forever. There's hope with an apology that sincere, but NOT now, I don't think. But, what may seem sad to you, and this is, will be totally OK, Kat, with God, He will be there for you, CAST your cares upon Him

See, I said to break apart from this guy, who is no more or less a sinner than any of us, but I also said to FIRST pray to God for the right answer, don't EVER settle for a human's answer. SeeK Him for all things

Milady, it is just YOUR flustered, conflicted heart that is in question I see, and, it grieves mine, and I just feel that you need time away based on the all of what's gone on and what you've said is A LOT has gone on, not a God-led 'a lot' either

Time away WILL strengthen your boyfriend's faith too

Disclosure: I am waiting on God before marriage, I hope and pray this, and, I KNOW God keeps me in purity mode, ever so often destroying Satan's devices too. And I AM waiting because I told IAM (God) I was doing so long ago. And.... it's interesting, er, amazing, rather, how when you give something to God (anything ) and your conviction of your said thoughts set in stone in your mind and the prayer for great help from God is made known to Him, asked by YOU to do chastening (correction) when necessary-- through the Holy Spirit working in your life, guess what happens. YOU CAN DO IT

You CAN do this, too, but ONLY with conviction of your own will to do it and follow God like you promised when you accepted Christ into your life, being born again whenever that was.

Now whether your prayer tonight, or, tomorrow, does anything to change things only God knows, but He knows and He will tell you, so you are not left alone wondering. Because? Becaues He will NEVER leave you nor forsake you. This scripture is said many times in scripture, not just Hebrews 13:5, and, therefore, it MUST be important to God to put so much emphasis on it in His inspired writings through human authors.

So, KNOW, that it won't be easy IF you tell this guy you like a lot and have a BOND to now that you NEED a little time off, but God will NEVER leave you nor forsake you. You put your faith in Him, now, put your obedience to that faith to practice, the Lord leads, God bless you, young lady, and, sorry, if I was too harsh, I pray the Lord leads what I say and I have not read a thread OP like this in awhile so I just pray you realize that PURITY before marriage is YOUR OATH to WAIT until God says 'when,' and it has NOTHING to do with virginity, it just has to do with YOU obeying Him for your life. Read Hebrews 12 and if you want, cfultz did a thread on this, I think it will especially be of comfort to you, knowing that God chastens (corrects) whom He loves just like a loving parent does a child

I wrote and awful lot, Dear Lord...Amen, I pray my words came from Him within me, who, remember, is GREATER, infinitely so, than he (Satan) who is in the world. You can get through this, OKKat. What's more, with Him leading, you will

 

[Liamson]

I Like what Jullianna said.


IF YOU LOVE HIM, and he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, then you should marry him. SOON! =)


BUT if you do not LOVE him, then this relationship has already gone on for too long. If the foundation of your relationship is not real Love, but what people think, or the "right narrative" then perhaps someone else can fill that position.


The choice is ultimately YOURS (in relationships women always hold all of the cards)



At the end of the day if you cannot work through this and get over this together, how will you overcome any challenge that you face together (outside of marriage or not)?

Its better to find out what the LOVE in your relationship really means now, than to find out later that there is something that can separate you two.

 

[GreenNnice]

I Like what Jullianna said.


IF YOU LOVE HIM, and he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, then you should marry him. SOON! =)


BUT if you do not LOVE him, then this relationship has already gone on for too long. If the foundation of your relationship is not real Love, but what people think, or the "right narrative" then perhaps someone else can fill that position.


The choice is ultimately YOURS (in relationships women always hold all of the cards)



At the end of the day if you cannot work through this and get over this together, how will you overcome any challenge that you face together (outside of marriage or not)?

Its better to find out what the LOVE in your relationship really means now, than to find out later that there is something that can separate you two.

_______-

And, HOW will you know that you LOVE this guy, milady, is a good question, isn't it?

The answer is simple.

God. He will lead. You can STEP but God, ultimately, will make your steps go His way IF you are His (Read Proverbs 16:9 )

Follow Him. The Lord leads

Note: Liams's practical advice is good and I personally may have said, and, I did that I am waiting, or, at least have so far, and, pray temptation does not overcome me, which I KNOW it won't because 1 Cor. 10:13 is true , but I have to say this too...

* I may NOT have good practical advice, I've rarely been on dates and NEVER in any relationships my whole life. The Lord has led, I hope and pray, He's made a way, either way, whether I've just not been ready and MISSED His will or just not His time.

Anyway, I support LIams' practical advice for this, I just encourage you to NEVER just go with YOUR own willful conviction on it's own to do things, YOU MUST ALWAYS in the process or coming to conclusions-- and doing ANYTHING--bring in God to your thoughts and, yes, your prayers

 

[KCat]

I Like what Jullianna said.


IF YOU LOVE HIM, and he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, then you should marry him. SOON! =)


BUT if you do not LOVE him, then this relationship has already gone on for too long. If the foundation of your relationship is not real Love, but what people think, or the "right narrative" then perhaps someone else can fill that position.


The choice is ultimately YOURS (in relationships women always hold all of the cards)



At the end of the day if you cannot work through this and get over this together, how will you overcome any challenge that you face together (outside of marriage or not)?

Its better to find out what the LOVE in your relationship really means now, than to find out later that there is something that can separate you two.

Yes, I do love him and today I cried so hard just thinking about losing him. I love him very much. I read this again,

1 Corinthians 7:9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Seems weird that God would say to get married if you have no self control. Let's face it, my self-control is running on fumes here. I can't put all the blame on my boyfriend. Yeah, he initiates things, but I do find it incredibly difficult not give in due to my own desires for him.

 

[KCat]

_______-

And, HOW will you know that you LOVE this guy, milady, is a good question, isn't it?

The answer is simple.

God. He will lead. You can STEP but God, ultimately, will make your steps go His way IF you are His (Read Proverbs 16:9 )

Follow Him. The Lord leads

Note: Liams's practical advice is good and I personally may have said, and, I did that I am waiting, or, at least have so far, and, pray temptation does not overcome me, which I KNOW it won't because 1 Cor. 10:13 is true , but I have to say this too...

* I may NOT have good practical advice, I've rarely been on dates and NEVER in any relationships my whole life. The Lord has led, I hope and pray, He's made a way, either way, whether I've just not been ready and MISSED His will or just not His time.

Anyway, I support LIams' practical advice for this, I just encourage you to NEVER just go with YOUR own willful conviction on it's own to do things, YOU MUST ALWAYS in the process or coming to conclusions-- and doing ANYTHING--bring in God to your thoughts and, yes, your prayers

Well, all I have to say is temptation definitely got the better of me before, so if I were you, I'd be cautious.

 

[GreenNnice]

Well, all I have to say is temptation definitely got the better of me before, so if I were you, I'd be cautious.

Sorry, OkKat, I am not sure what you are saying.

Edit:

Oh, yes, I see what you are saying now, about me, yes, I know, temptation is real, the power of God, the power of God, the power of God. That is what we MUST have in us. And, YOU DO, OkKat, IF you are His

But, yes, the Enemy is real and I just pray that God keeps Him under my feet (like that song , he's under my feet, he's under my feet, Satan, yeah's under my feet )
And, yes, I am no saint, we all have sins, I've done things too, just not 'that' thing, and, I say it just saying that God has kept me and I KNOW the Enemy attacks me OFTEN in this area, many girls cross my path, and, I pray, pray, pray, for God to keep me strong in Him. I have confidence I can withstand the temptation and anyway, yeah, thank you for what you said. I am praying for you, milady, that the Lord will be let to lead you That is your decision, not easy, at this point of your relationship, but I pray you do. It may be to be with your boyfriend still, I don't know. Listen ONLY to him

 

[GreenNnice]

Sorry, OkKat, I am not sure what you are saying.

Edit:

Oh, yes, I see what you are saying now, about me, yes, I know, temptation is real, the power of God, the power of God, the power of God. That is what we MUST have in us. And, YOU DO, OkKat, IF you are His

But, yes, the Enemy is real and I just pray that God keeps Satan under my feet (like that song , he's under my feet, he's under my feet, Satan, yeah's under my feet )
And, yes, I am no saint, we all have sins, I've done things too, just not 'that' thing, and, I say it just saying that God has kept me and I KNOW the Enemy attacks me OFTEN in this area, many girls cross my path, and, I pray, pray, pray, for God to keep me strong in Him. I have confidence I can withstand the temptation and anyway, yeah, thank you for what you said. I am praying for you, milady, that the Lord will be let to lead you That is your decision, not easy, at this point of your relationship, but I pray you do. It may be to be with your boyfriend still, I don't know. Listen ONLY to him

)________________(
Edit: Keeps Satan under my feet.

___________
May Jesus bless you, and, your boyfriend, with seeing His great Love to you both now, that is my prayer, OkKat

 

[mystdancer50]

Yes, I do love him and today I cried so hard just thinking about losing him. I love him very much. I read this again,

1 Corinthians 7:9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Seems weird that God would say to get married if you have no self control. Let's face it, my self-control is running on fumes here. I can't put all the blame on my boyfriend. Yeah, he initiates things, but I do find it incredibly difficult not give in due to my own desires for him.

I think Christians use this verse to justify what they want rather than stepping back and seeing what God wants. We have all "burned with passion" at some point and I daresay most have met a person they couldn't live without. For me, marrying someone that didn't respect me enough to wait for marriage, who doesn't see me as the treasure I am, that doesn't value God's call to purity, is not an option. I would rather walk away from someone that I 'burn' for than marry one that was encouraging to the compromise of my morals, values, and beliefs.

True love waits. I think we forget that at times. I am marrying one I love, not one that pushes morality and purity aside and makes me feel as though marriage is the only option because compromises removed self-control.

Here's the deal: you are one flesh because of what you both allowed to happen. You are encouraging a lack of self-control with every touch from that moment forward, no matter how small. Holding hands, kissing, hugging...none of that is as it was before your choice to let go of what you believed and give into what your passion wanted. Now, due to the bond you have created with your choices, living without him seems impossible.

I am not saying that God doesn't want you together, however you need that time apart to put Jesus back in first place and discover what He really wants, not do what you feel you want in this moment. Jesus was removed from His place as first the minute you started spending time alone with this guy. You stepped into the fire at that moment and set yourself up to give up your values and self-control at that moment. Now, you both have to seek Christ first before you marry because I promise that if you use lack of self-control as justification to marry now, you and he will use it to excuse a great deal of compromises while married, and I am not talking about only sexual compromises.

 

[frankleespeaking]

you never answered why you can't just get married....its like 60 dollars.....then you can plan a nice wedding and spend 10,000 and you can be like my wife and get two anniversary cards and presents its a win win.....and being married is GREAT!