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K
I remember in HS i could stare intently at the back of someones neck and within 10-15 seconds they would touch the back of their neck and start looking around haha. Other people would attempt the same thing and no one else could do it. I wonder if i could put this skill to use on women. Like maybe at the grocery store. Stand in the produce isle and stare at some woman like that straight into her eyes. Oh yeah. I'll be raking in the phone numbers for sure. 
K
How about just regular stupid stuff, then? That seems to have a detrimental effect too just sayin. Well, come to think of it, that's just around here at this forum. If I'm directly speaking to a stupid girl, we seem to get along pretty well. But then I don't like her because she's stupid. Then again, she makes me look smart. A lot to consider....
I'm not agreein on # 2 btw.
I'm not agreein on # 2 btw.
1, 3 and 4 are subjective. I make a point of holding eye contact until she looks away, not the other way around. And intensity sometimes just happens. Great chemistry makes for an electric atmosphere. Theres nothing better than holding a burning eye contact with someone and knowing they are thinking and feeling just like I do at that moment.
Number three is well, also subjective. Flirtatiousness demands a small amount of sexualization in that chemistry needs intimacy in a way. Sometimes a hint of vocalised attraction is a good thing.
Number one is subjective too. Some women like a guy to be up front and sure of himself. Forward and confident can easily be blurred into 'pushy' depending on the perspective of the woman.
There's really no hard fast rule. Some women like to text a lot. Some women dont. some women date and have commitment in mind, some women dont.
it's a question of compatibility more than anything else IMO.
I wouldnt really change much about myself or try to play by set out rules because the situation varies in each encounter.
Number three is well, also subjective. Flirtatiousness demands a small amount of sexualization in that chemistry needs intimacy in a way. Sometimes a hint of vocalised attraction is a good thing.
Number one is subjective too. Some women like a guy to be up front and sure of himself. Forward and confident can easily be blurred into 'pushy' depending on the perspective of the woman.
There's really no hard fast rule. Some women like to text a lot. Some women dont. some women date and have commitment in mind, some women dont.
it's a question of compatibility more than anything else IMO.
I wouldnt really change much about myself or try to play by set out rules because the situation varies in each encounter.
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U
I think the list was created with the intention of there being a level of subjectivity. Though, from a Christian perspective all of these should have some obvious specific limits. But ultimately all of these rules are smart. And typically, on these, it's better to err on the side of caution from the get go until you learn what the individuals boundaries are in these areas.
Though i do disagree with your idea of number three requiring sexualization and intimacy to show an interest in a woman. Personally, to me, that sounds like an excuse to maintain a level of sexuality that is not required with someone you are just meeting or getting to know.
Though i do disagree with your idea of number three requiring sexualization and intimacy to show an interest in a woman. Personally, to me, that sounds like an excuse to maintain a level of sexuality that is not required with someone you are just meeting or getting to know.
Not an excuse, no. Im not excusing anything. Maybe youre uncomfortable with sexuality somehow but personally I think it's essential between myself and a woman that Im interested in. There's gotta be physical attraction. And physical attraction is often a precursor to sexual compatibility. The way a woman acts and responds usually says whether theres a lot of physical attraction or not.
I dont need to be rude, obnoxious, or filthy about it. Nor do I need to fall into bed with her. But if I went out on a date and there was no physicality, no blushes, no smirks, no giggles, no laughs, no touching of arms or hands, no coyness nor a little embarassment or shyness, whether feigned or real, then there's no physical attraction or emotional connectivity there.
I dont need to be rude, obnoxious, or filthy about it. Nor do I need to fall into bed with her. But if I went out on a date and there was no physicality, no blushes, no smirks, no giggles, no laughs, no touching of arms or hands, no coyness nor a little embarassment or shyness, whether feigned or real, then there's no physical attraction or emotional connectivity there.
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G
Be cool around her. Don't be excited, don't be afraid , don't be not yourself. So, whoever you are, be you. You are going to have to be you in the relationship, might as well get that part of the relationship off to a good start, for the repercussions of not being yourself will, more likely than not, FREAK HER OUT at some point.
You know the line, 'I didn't know he was like that.'
Or, 'He wasn't like that in the beginning.'
So, to save future heartache, coming ill repute, eventual brokeneness, just be real with yourself, and, you ARE a Christian. Right? So, act like one , from the beginning, and, that girl, IF she is right for you, will either LIKE you for that way and really develop an atttraction for you or she will not like you and it will be much better in the end that you found out right then.
The Lord leads. Beeeee naturally His. And, He can that way figure out a naturally perfect match for you.
You know the line, 'I didn't know he was like that.'
Or, 'He wasn't like that in the beginning.'
So, to save future heartache, coming ill repute, eventual brokeneness, just be real with yourself, and, you ARE a Christian. Right? So, act like one , from the beginning, and, that girl, IF she is right for you, will either LIKE you for that way and really develop an atttraction for you or she will not like you and it will be much better in the end that you found out right then.
The Lord leads. Beeeee naturally His. And, He can that way figure out a naturally perfect match for you.
Honestly, I don't think any of those things were subjective. Women like confidence, not cockiness. Sometimes girls won't immediately be attracted to you. To be pushy towards them when they say no at first, you're not just burning the bridge, you're taking a flamethrower to it! Patience and chivalry are two important things in my opinion.
Sometimes eye contact, especially prolonged, is WAY too much in the initial stages of meeting someone, and even in a relationship.
Three is no exception. Unless, well, maybe when you're married. Once again, upon first meeting someone, even while in a relationship with that person, I'd say the crude talk is out. C'mon, save that stuff for marriage. Simple flirting is okay, I think, within the context of a relationship.
Some women like to text, some don't. I think, especially at the beginning of a relationship, if possible, keep the texting at a minimum. Lots of miscommunications happen over e-mail and text message. You put your own voice and tone to it, and then things can be interpreted wrong.
I agree nothing is completely cookie-cutter, but there are such things as "Ground rules," and I think what Stilly posted were it.
U
The point is that they are subjective. Your idea of pushy may vary from another womans. What might make you feel he's being pushy another woman may find appealing, or not think twice. This is where the subjective nature of these statements come into play. As a blanket statement, it's true, don't be pushy and whatnot. But that level is determined by each person.
For instance a guy you have ZERO attraction to keeps coming up to you and talking and you can tell he's interested.
Another guy acts the exact same way but you find him very attractive.
How you view their actions will vary based on your level of attraction to them. The first guy may seem pushy because you aren't interested, whereas the other guy you may be thinking 'i wish he'd talk to me more' even though he's acting no different than the first guy.
But this is why i said to err on the side of caution. These concepts can easily apply to all of the 'rules'. Though i do feel the sexual rule has the least room for subjective views from a Christian standpoint.
For instance a guy you have ZERO attraction to keeps coming up to you and talking and you can tell he's interested.
Another guy acts the exact same way but you find him very attractive.
How you view their actions will vary based on your level of attraction to them. The first guy may seem pushy because you aren't interested, whereas the other guy you may be thinking 'i wish he'd talk to me more' even though he's acting no different than the first guy.
But this is why i said to err on the side of caution. These concepts can easily apply to all of the 'rules'. Though i do feel the sexual rule has the least room for subjective views from a Christian standpoint.
One other thing. A lot of guys do it, and a lot of girls do not like it, but most guys don't seem to think of it or notice it, and they seem surprised when I mention it:
If she is alone, do not (even unintentionally) physically block her from leaving a room. Or anywhere, for that matter. For example, do not stand in the only doorway while you try to chat her up. Do not lean on her shopping cart while you try to flirt, or give any sign of blocking her from leaving. Even if you do it without thinking, she will probably be uncomfortable.
If she is alone, do not (even unintentionally) physically block her from leaving a room. Or anywhere, for that matter. For example, do not stand in the only doorway while you try to chat her up. Do not lean on her shopping cart while you try to flirt, or give any sign of blocking her from leaving. Even if you do it without thinking, she will probably be uncomfortable.