"DATE" Who should pay Men? women? Shared? or???

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phil38111

phil38111

Banned
#121
Feb 21, 2012
414
3
0
#121
gypsygirl said:
i never have an expectation of the guy paying, and i always have cash on hand to pay my share of whatever i'm doing, or i wouldn't go. i think that's a good idea anytime you're going on a date.

but in my experience, the guys wants to pay for the date. when that is the case, i typically make an effort to treat them in some fashion that is in recognition of that fact. so if he pays for dinner, i'll offer to treat for the movie tickets, etc.

more often, the guys rebuff that, however, some are more open to that--especially if it's after the first or second date.

which by the way, is kind of a delicate walk. it's kind of annoying to me how some guys (such as those in this thread) will talk about how they expect a woman to pay her fair share, yet, others feel quite the opposite--and i get the sense both sides would be offended if there was an expectation differently than what they prefer.

i think i've nearly offended guys in the past when i've tried/offered to pay for part of the date, and felt a little uneasy when i tried to pay for things in later dates. in my experience, most guys want to pay for dates but the majority are fine with me contributing in smaller ways, such as a trip to the concession bar for a couple beers to enjoy during a movie, etc.

after i've been out with a guy a handful of times, i'll usually treat him to a nice home cooked dinner-- as a way to show my appreciation, as well as enjoy a different kind of date.

i think it's important not to make assumptions, and if you're in a relationship with a guy who does tend to pay for things, that you are sensitive for opportunities to contribute.

and i agree, once you're in a relationship, there is a lot of opportunity for more equality and recognition of sharing costs or division of the shared expenses.
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Your doing the right thing. And I applaud this. But I would say dont worry about offending anyone just do what you feel is right. Truth be told when you offer to pay your share of the date, for most men that means you passed the first test. You basically seperated yourself and made yourself look better than the average woman most guys go on dates with. Now there are some women that offer to pay, becasue they have caught on to this, and they know it will make them look better in the eyes of the man they are going out with. But they are not always genuine, because they really don't want to pay for the date, they just want to make themselves look good in front of the man. Becasue they know he's going to decline. Either that or they say there will be no second date if he actually accepts the offer. These women don't count. They are just being manipulative and dishonest.

But honestly, I'd say just do what you do. You cant please everyone.
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#122
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
48
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#122
Cee said:
This is an easy problem to solve, just call her up and offer to let her take you out on a date.
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Ha!! I love this. So basically I can go up to a guy a like and just say, "Hey, I'm available Thursday night if you want to take me out! Okay great kthanksbye"

*skips away*
 
S

ServantStrike

Guest
#123
#123
rachelsedge said:
Ha!! I love this. So basically I can go up to a guy a like and just say, "Hey, I'm available Thursday night if you want to take me out! Okay great kthanksbye"

*skips away*
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Yeah that tactic would probably work with 70-80 percent of guys out there. They'd say "nice, I didn't have to do the asking this time."

But make sure that you skip away, because that's something you don't usually see people doing in public past the age of about eight or nine.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#124
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#124
Let´s see how odd this is:

"Ok! I want to date you...

Do you mind if I borrow some money from you, one day in advance?"



He! He! He!



Same analogy will apply if I asked my friends, my mom or dad (Just guessing)

 
A

AgnusDei

Guest
#126
#126
Grace-Like-Rain said:
This always makes me curious. When a girl has never been on a date, it's usually because no guy has asked her yet. But when a guy has never been on a date, what the what? Are you shy, or have you not met anyone you wanted to go out with?
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Well.....the thing is that I was very direct and foolish....so foolish
I meet a girl and the next day I asked her to marry me
I was like that.....crazy as you cannot imagine.....
I wanted to get the girl rightaway before someone could take it away from me.......(as I said I was as crazy as a ill peanut butter talking with Frodo about the evil ring)

I never had a date so far because I realized there are many other women outside Venezuela...in places like New Zealand, Iceland, South Africa, South Korea, Paraguay, Faroe Islands and the South of France.

So....I just have to take a plane and have a look....

YEP!
ABSOLUTELY YEP!
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#127
May 23, 2009
14,944
4,589
113
#127
Agnus!!! Haven't seen you in a while!!! Where have you been?!

I guess that explains it... You've been on a plane, scouting the world for da ladies. ;)

Either way, good to have you back. :)
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#128
Aug 12, 2011
10,418
2,660
113
#128
AgnusDei said:
I never had a date so far because I realized there are many other women outside Venezuela...in places like New Zealand, Iceland, South Africa, South Korea, Paraguay, Faroe Islands and the South of France.
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the states wasn't on the list. i'm offended. lol jk :)
 
A

AgnusDei

Guest
#129
#129
Thanks seoulsearch....

I have been here in Venezuela.com

Glad to be back after fighting the First Chat World War.......many cassualties....heheheh

Hope you are ok in the land of Ulises S Grant, Douglas McArthur and Thomas Jeffersson
 
Calmador

Calmador

Senior Member
#132
Jun 23, 2011
945
40
28
#132
I just think it's good manners for guys to pay for dates. It's awkward not to. I feel like I'm sort of taking care of her on the date. Also, I sense "pride" in myself in doing so.
 
A

AgnusDei

Guest
#133
#133
lol entiendo perfectamente

C'est la vie madame, tres dificile!

hehe
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#134
Aug 13, 2014
24,991
8,208
113
#134
Mais oui, c'est tres dificile.
 
J

jeremyPJ

Guest
#135
#135
basically, in my area the guy can expect to pay. She will offer but intends for you to. If you let her pay half, this might be seen as a strike against you, depending on other factors. And some gals might only give you two strikes...
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#136
#136
GandalfTheWhite said:
I am sure you will find the girl of your dreams my friend. You should come to SA, we have the most beautiful girls in the world... ask me I am married to one :) :eek:
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Thank you, my brother! SA? I already live there! Oh, you don't mean South Australia? Haha. Good stuff. :)
 
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C

Casilda78

Junior Member
#139
Feb 19, 2015
6
0
0
#139
♯♩♪♫♬♭♮whoever got the money :D
no money no honey ♯♩♪♫♬♭♮
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#140
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#140
This is one big advantage that gay couples have.. They never have to decide whether the man or the woman should pay. :p
 
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