update on having a long talk with hubby

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blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,602
113
#41
Funny how the people on here equate "separate" and "divorce" to mean the same thing.. It doesn't.. Separate means you leave for awhile, let things cool down. Divorce means cut the cord entirely.
 

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
467
83
#44
She's been in it now for twenty years or so. And he's not interested in getting help. Not interested in getting God. Not interested in keeping the marriage.
Twenty years. In her situation I could not look her in the eye and tell her God wants her to stay.
But maybe he does. Maybe he doesn't. I don't lnow. I could look her in the eye and say have you prayed extensively on this?
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,602
113
#46
Twenty years. In her situation I could not look her in the eye and tell her God wants her to stay.
But maybe he does. Maybe he doesn't. I don't lnow. I could look her in the eye and say have you prayed extensively on this?
Well, a just and loving God wouldn't want her in an untenable situation FOREVER. He designed marriages to be happy and healthy and full of love. Not indifference, blame and misery. Just saying..
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
113
#48
I got to get in this. Blue lady, feel free to blast me if you wish.
Divorce is nothing more than an instrument to marry another person and not run afoul of bigomy laws that are generally punished as a felony crime in most jurisdictions. The thing is that Jesus said if you divorce your spouse and marry another, it's adultry. Paul wrote that if your spouse isn't a believer but is willing to stay, you should stay. God stated he hates divorce. Before anyone goes all old testament about being able to divorce, read what Jesus said about that when asked by the pharasees. He told them Moses permitted it. Jesus didn't say God permitted it. Jesus stated you could divorce for adulry, but does that really give you authority to remarry? Blue lady is right, separation and divorce is different. If you are being physically abused get safe, but it doesn't require a divorce. Jesus said it would be hard for people to accept, but the goal is not happiness, it's to be Holy.
 
L

LaurenTM

Guest
#49
I got to get in this. Blue lady, feel free to blast me if you wish.
Divorce is nothing more than an instrument to marry another person and not run afoul of bigomy laws that are generally punished as a felony crime in most jurisdictions. The thing is that Jesus said if you divorce your spouse and marry another, it's adultry. Paul wrote that if your spouse isn't a believer but is willing to stay, you should stay. God stated he hates divorce. Before anyone goes all old testament about being able to divorce, read what Jesus said about that when asked by the pharasees. He told them Moses permitted it. Jesus didn't say God permitted it. Jesus stated you could divorce for adulry, but does that really give you authority to remarry? Blue lady is right, separation and divorce is different. If you are being physically abused get safe, but it doesn't require a divorce. Jesus said it would be hard for people to accept, but the goal is not happiness, it's to be Holy.

forget Blue ( I don't mean that literally of course because she is a memorable person/lady)

you have selected HALF truths here INCLUDING what YOUR version of holiness is

I can't even...it's too ridiculous
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#50
God permits divorce.

However a strong Christian marriage can be a great testimony to the world of how God wanted us to live in Eden.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
113
#51
forget Blue ( I don't mean that literally of course because she is a memorable person/lady)

you have selected HALF truths here INCLUDING what YOUR version of holiness is

I can't even...it's too ridiculous
Whats the other half?
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#52
Whats the other half?

1/2
Paul wrote that if your spouse isn't a believer but is willing to stay, you should stay
Other half...if they leave, let them leave. You aren't bound by that marriage and may remarry.

First one that pops out....
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#53
1 Corinthians 7:12-16 ESV / 3 helpful votes

To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#54
Other marriage verses..for anyone interested...

1 Peter 3:7 ESV

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Romans 7:3 ESV

Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress.

Romans 7:2 ESV

For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage.

Ephesians 5:28 ESV

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Ephesians 5:33 ESV

However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

1 Corinthians 7:1-40 ESV

Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ..
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#55
I strongly recommend this book on Christian marriage

You and Me Forever

It's a free download by Francis Chan and his wife
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
113
#56
Other half...if they leave, let them leave. You aren't bound by that marriage and may remarry.

First one that pops out....
Yeah sure but the OP is the one considering to leave, and some of us are encouraging that.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#57
Funny how the people on here equate "separate" and "divorce" to mean the same thing.. It doesn't.. Separate means you leave for awhile, let things cool down. Divorce means cut the cord entirely.
Skipping the part they are both on Disability, so can't afford to separate, 87% of people who separate divorce. I get that. Do you?

You're still pushing your agenda.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#58
Well, a just and loving God wouldn't want her in an untenable situation FOREVER. He designed marriages to be happy and healthy and full of love. Not indifference, blame and misery. Just saying..
And stop reinventing God. Hosea is STILL his word.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#59
Jennifer, I really hope you've learned to divide the advice given to you by now. You are getting some help. (I'm praying for God to make himself clear to you through his word only, because this one is something you do have to decide without help from the choir online.) Just don't count personal bias as advice.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
113
#60
Divorce is ruining the world. Why do christians advocate it when Jesus did not? I heard that the rate of divorce is now slightly higher for Christians then the rest of society. And no, God doesn't want or put anyone in untenable situations forever, eventually you do die.