Is it always like this here?
- Thread starter Sirk
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I just want to share a little something about myself. I'll be honest and say I'm a little different on here than I am in real life. You all sometimes get the raw unedited version of me. I run into people in all walks of life with all differing opinions on things. I must keep it professional so I find common ground with people instead. I work with rich people, poor people, mean people nice people.
I have been told that I am a very approachable person. People often say something like...I have no idea why I just told you all that personal stuff about myself when I don't even know you. Lol.
I think people find me trustworthy, that I am a good listener, that I validate them. One time I had a person tell me that I was one of the most humble people that he knew. It kinda crushed me and for the next month I wondered if my humility was some sort of hidden pride.
I realize I have people on here who think I'm not a very nice person....but little do they know...I am a thousand times harder on myself than they could ever be on me. I worry if I am a good enough father, electrician, friend, person...etc etc. The last year has been incredibly hard...sometimes I didn't know which way was up. There were a few months where at times I couldn't get myself to even leave my house. I was afraid of my phone, of disappointing the person on the other end in some way. It has been a rough go this last year and half.
Somehow, I managed to be a pretty good dad and keep a roof over our head and food in our bellies. I had a significant amount of money stolen from me, my confidence and self worth stolen from me....all new friends. I was in a dark place not very long ago....Tues...that cloud will be lifted from my life and I can finally move forward.
I imagine most of you have something going on..some struggle. Our burdens always seem the heaviest to ourselves.
I have been told that I am a very approachable person. People often say something like...I have no idea why I just told you all that personal stuff about myself when I don't even know you. Lol.
I think people find me trustworthy, that I am a good listener, that I validate them. One time I had a person tell me that I was one of the most humble people that he knew. It kinda crushed me and for the next month I wondered if my humility was some sort of hidden pride.
I realize I have people on here who think I'm not a very nice person....but little do they know...I am a thousand times harder on myself than they could ever be on me. I worry if I am a good enough father, electrician, friend, person...etc etc. The last year has been incredibly hard...sometimes I didn't know which way was up. There were a few months where at times I couldn't get myself to even leave my house. I was afraid of my phone, of disappointing the person on the other end in some way. It has been a rough go this last year and half.
Somehow, I managed to be a pretty good dad and keep a roof over our head and food in our bellies. I had a significant amount of money stolen from me, my confidence and self worth stolen from me....all new friends. I was in a dark place not very long ago....Tues...that cloud will be lifted from my life and I can finally move forward.
I imagine most of you have something going on..some struggle. Our burdens always seem the heaviest to ourselves.
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Sirk was a funny sarcastic guy with, yes, all the answers. He quit to spend with his kid and now that he's back there's definitely more edge and less funny in him. And he tends to attack answers rather than give them now. Or at least that's what it seems to me. He just doesn't seem as happy-go-lucky as he used to be. So sewious now. I put that out there 1. to encourage him to lighten up 2. see if others who knew him before agree.
Oh yes, it is actually light. It only appears as darkness to our intellect because it can't lean on itself or it is walking with less faith and more head knowledge. So it begins to not be as rabid over doctrine and is able to say, I don't know for sure on that point, but I trust Him. I think this was what the poster was saying, sort of like, the more one walks in purer faith, the more they come to feel that they know less of God than they thought. And this leads to much greater peace than before because greater faith leads to even greater peace. And this leads to Him being able to give you more understanding because you are not insisting on what your intellect wants or...you're emptier of self to listen and receive more. It's very difficult to explain, but I'm pretty sure you have had those moments where you say, dangit...I sometimes feel like I suddenly don't know anything about God...this is a precursor to what I'm talking about and learning to walk more that way than by our intellect.
I'm not sure why this has become a referendum on me but ok. If I've been a jerk I am sorry for any jerkish thing I said. And btw....I'm still funny....you just can't see me smiling when I post stuff. 
Sirk, on the other hand, can still be saved !
Brother Sirk,
we speak to you from our hearts, and this is exactly why we are not very POPULAR in this world
and especially with our immediate families!
for those of us who truly love you and actually LISTEN to your heart when your speak the TRUTH:
some of us where so exstatic when you shared that you were 'led' to leave this site and spend the
majority of your time with your precious SON...
you did come back different in some ways, and this literally broke some of our hearts, simple because
it appeared that you went back on your 'word' and literally weren't spending those precious moments
of your time with your 'beloved SON'...He MUST be your priority in this Life, as Jesus has blessed you
beyond words to have such, as we, are His priority in the lives of those whom He calls and chooses...
we speak to you from our hearts, and this is exactly why we are not very POPULAR in this world
and especially with our immediate families!
for those of us who truly love you and actually LISTEN to your heart when your speak the TRUTH:
some of us where so exstatic when you shared that you were 'led' to leave this site and spend the
majority of your time with your precious SON...
you did come back different in some ways, and this literally broke some of our hearts, simple because
it appeared that you went back on your 'word' and literally weren't spending those precious moments
of your time with your 'beloved SON'...He MUST be your priority in this Life, as Jesus has blessed you
beyond words to have such, as we, are His priority in the lives of those whom He calls and chooses...
I actually don't know how we got on talking about sirk. I think it was because I spent some time away from forum too and didn't remember him from before. So what I saw was him get mellower and seem more peaceful because I hadn't known him as far back as others. So someone else seemed to be seeing a different sirk than me. So what I saw over the last few weeks was all I knew of him and I had spent a lot of time rejoicing over a brother I saw become more peaceful. But we need to stop the referendum because we might make him think we love him too much. We should begin a referendum on ricky now.
I'm still a good dad. I think I needed this place in some ways to stay connected somehow. There was a whole world outside my door I wasn't connected with anymore. In some ways I was barely functioning. I didnt intend for this thread to be me about me. I hoped it would encourage people to turn the looking glass on themselves. I know I do. But if people wanna pile on and tell me that I need to change, it just sort of goes with the theme that's been in my head my whole life...that I'm not good enough as I am. I know it's not the truth...but it is my burden...letting people walk on me.
Coming out of this last year my circle of friends is much smaller. I'm very choosy about that. I choose people who think I am ok as I am.
Coming out of this last year my circle of friends is much smaller. I'm very choosy about that. I choose people who think I am ok as I am.
W
Sirk is the kind of guy I'd go to when I need a straight answer. And that's the only answer that is an answer. I will form an intervention if he changes.
Kris is the kind of guy I would go to to have my back. Even if I was wrong........he would have my back.
And he has done threads like this before. He is willing to lay it all out,even when he knows he's going to get a thrashing.
I wish I had his guts.
I'm not sure why this has become a referendum on me but ok. If I've been a jerk I am sorry for any jerkish thing I said. And btw....I'm still funny....you just can't see me smiling when I post stuff.
ahahha very witty and humorous sarcasm.....love it...makes me laugh all the time....!