Read most of the "my husband/wife is a scumbag, and I am to be pitied enough that I need you to tell me it's okay to divorce him/her" threads in the Family Forum. You hear the whole sob story from one side, but not the other. Usually, the reality isn't either side. It's in the middle.
I knew a woman who could honestly tell you that she was regularly beaten by her husband. And her children would stay away from home as much as possible. Doesn't that sound so sad? What was the poor woman to do?
The reality was the second the husband or children came home, she'd lay in on them -- screaming, carrying on, slapping them, even pulling out a wire coat hanger, lining up the kids, and beating then until they were black and blue. Why? Does it matter? They had just gotten home from school so didn't even have time to misbehave.
And the husband? In his ear screaming at him, name calling, slapping him, belittling him, etc., until he snapped and slugged her. When she hit the floor, he grabbed his coat and headed to the bar.
And yet, if you met her, she seemed like this quiet little woman who had been dumped on her whole life, courageously keeping on, going to church, taking good care of her kids, and then running off to be a nurse in a hospital.
What would you do for that quiet little lady? And what would you do for that beast? Without the husband, you don't know if you have quiet little woman or beast.
