A Heart Divided?

You really need to stop with all these false accusations and assumptions. This is a most dysfunctional way of relating and I really don't appreciate it. If you don't like my attitude then simply don't talk to me.

In fact for you to talk about me to another poster like I am not even here is severely dysfunctional. If I were to be like you I would say that is because of your background. Would that be a nice thing to say? Well, that is what you are doing to me and that is incredibly stupid.

The issue with this guy is not related to other relationships. What do you understand exactly about these other relationships and what other relationships are you talking about? I only have one husband and if you are referring to my family of origin then that is way off. I must say that I actually resent the fact that I mentioned my family of origin in order to help you on one of your posts regarding your own family of origin. It is a very low blow for you to use that against me. I would ask that you show some respect and refrain from doing that.

This guy or any guy is not a lifeboat. I'm not asking to be rescued like the damsel in distress if that is what you are getting at. If I was to be with someone it would be because I like who they are and I respect them and want to be with them for them. What do you mean what I am used to? I had a very bad marriage a very long time ago and I fixed it. I got divorced. My current husband is nowhere near that. You don't even know him and someone can have some rough edges but it does not mean they are totally bad. It is not all black and white all the time. And please, no one is pounding me with sledgehammers and I don't settle. If someone tried to pound me I would fight back and leave as in permanently. And I am not settling for any less than what I want. I'm not desperate for any man so if I had to I can do without.

I need deliverance from all my unhealthy relationships? What the Hell? You don't even know me. Are you talking about yourself? Projecting? I don't get this at all. I wouldn't consider my marriage unhealthy even though it has it's moments and I have no contact with my family of origin so that is not an issue and the in-laws are not an issue either. My husband has problems with his own family and really doesn't see them much if at all and both his parent's are dead now.

Yes, according to you I am this damaged human being and you know me better than myself since you really don't know me and have never met me. That makes a lot of sense does it not? I need a safety net? No. Not really. I know what I need and I will get it if I can and if not I wait and cope. I'm not some weak individual I just came here and posted a prayer for a little support but to be honest I am very sorry I even came here considering how this has panned out.

This is getting way too wacky for me. And I am getting sick of having to defend myself also. Please if you want to know something then ask and quit assuming already.

Thank you.

There is no such thing as a nice and civil breakup? WOW! Try this on. I am sitting on my Porch with my wife. I or we decide to move on. What about the house? She can not afford it. We find out the equity. I then buy her out. Now she is concerned of where to move. more so having many animals. I drive her all over looking for another house that she can afford.

We find a brand new model home. She loves it. I help move her in and three other moves in the last fifteen years.
She is good people and a class act.

You don't get me at all? try this. Darkness can not be with light?
In regards to "On This Rock" I looked at that post as a good one for you. You seemed happy with what she said in her one post? I am not wasting my time looking if there might be more post from her. But it would seem that you are happy with many first post. Then you go on the attack if someone would have anything else to attempt in being helpful.

You do not care what triggered my ex girlfriend? The fact that sharing something good about others triggered something very mean and nasty in her. If your husband learns that you are all head over heals with some man you met online. What might his reactions be if something spiritual, or in his own nature gets provoked with anger and resentment?

Time for me to go back into default mode. Putting a spiritual take on things. Satan is having a field day in regards to your post about others. I shall not feed his fire any longer.

What you are missing. You are married. You should not be getting connected with another man, even verbally other then your husband.
Some of my previous post mentioned some dangers of this.

Your Welcome.

You are right, I don't get you at all. If you are married you stick together unless you have sufficient grounds for divorce. Sufficient grounds being adultery, abandonment, and I will also throw in extreme abuse that is physical and possibly extreme and severe addiction issues such as alcohol, drug, gambling, and smut. Other than that you get married because you want to and it is meant for life. I still say if the person and relationship is so good then you would still be there. Commitment is just that. A commitment. It is not based on convenience or your mood on a particular day or if the person is not conforming to what you think they should be. You should have figured out who the person is before you got married.

No I am not happy with any first posts. "On The Rock" was the only one that was totally accurate. Ricky came a close second after contemplating for a bit but then reverted to not understanding and assuming. The problem I have with most posts on here, of which I have stated before, is that they are full of false assumptions. People don't listen to what I am saying and just want to make snap judgments and hear the sound of their own voice. People that want to understand will listen and ask questions and try to understand instead of just saying things that are not true. Some of my statements are pretty clear so I don't see how someone can misinterpret them unless they are refusing to listen but want to impose their viewpoints on me whether they apply or not.

And no, I don't care what triggered your ex-girlfriend. Everyone is different and it isn't my problem. I already told you psychopath or possibly a narcissist so what else do you want? You should have set boundaries when you got the nasty text and not accepted that. Maybe she is insecure. Maybe she is crazy. Maybe she is evil. Maybe all of the above. How do I know? You get what you are willing to put up with so getting nasty texts from someone you recently met is not a good sign. That is not love.

My husband is aware of this estranged friend. Haven't you been reading and listening? Trying to guilt me? Listen here, I told my husband that it is pathetic that I felt I had to go to him for emotional support. He already knows. My husband is not insecure. If he wanted to blast the guy I could give him his phone number although it is long distance since he resides in a different country. I could also give him the name of his business but I'm not into causing trouble for someone like that so I won't. I'm very direct with my husband about how I feel and he may have been a tad jealous but he knows me and knows I would not just pick up and leave him for another guy in another country. This was a person I came across through theological videos. I was not looking for love or a relationship with anyone. I asked him to pray for me and some emotional support. I was the first one to cut the friendship off because of the risk involved but he wanted to continue anyways. Refer to "On This Rock" to understand more. I would have not continued a friendship with him but wanted some closure and honesty. I would have told him that I cannot be his friend or anything more because I am married. Then I would have cut off all communication. I did not get this closure so I am going to have to forget about him on my own over time.

Actually, Satan is having a field day falsely accusing me through people like you and others. I don't like people who do not listen and who do not validate what a person is saying. I also have a major problem with people who do the backstabbing routine. If you or anyone else wants to falsely accuse me then I will correct it. I don't have to put up with other people's false accusations and for your information the accuser of the brethren happens to be Satan. It is not very Christian like to refuse to listen to someone and turn around and reject what they are saying and go right back to accusing them all over again for something that they have already explained more than once.

I'm not missing anything. I know I am married. I don't have a relationship with any other man other than my husband.

I would ask you to get lost with your false accusations. I don't want them and I don't need them.

I'm sorry I even posted a prayer request since all I have received is false assumptions, accusations and abuse.

Take it elsewhere and I don't want any further communication or apologies or explanations or whatever.

Then you go and say your welcome on the post below? How mixed up is that? Enough is enough. Go hassle someone else.

blue_ladybug: You are a complete fake. I confronted you on another video with that person who had marriage problems for your rude comments.

You did end up apologizing to me and I forgave you. But then you go on my post and like posts that are basically insulting me and lying about me?

Your apology was not sincere. You are just another backstabber and two face. I don't tolerate such individuals.

Tourist also did the same thing as did RickyZ.

I'm done with this garbage.

If you need to play holier than thou and falsely accuse someone to make yourself feel better and superior about yourself then choose another target. I'm not putting up with it. Anyone that falsely accuses me will be challenged. I will not continue conversations with people who don't know how to listen but just want to argue and condemn because they have nothing better to do.

Like I said before. If you don't want to listen and help then go away. If you just want to bash me and make false assumptions and/or accusations then go away. People that do this obviously have their own problems and that is why they are doing this. I asked for a simple prayer request and not a lecture or sanctimonious advice of which I did not ask for.

Thank you.

I originally came here for support and prayers. What I got was false accusations and headaches. Due to that any members that I feel have wrongly accused me and keep on doing so even when corrected or choose to do the backstabbing routine as in liking posts that are insulting and degrading to me have been put on the ignore list.

It is pathetic that I feel I have to do that but I deserve better treatment than this.

So if you find yourself on the ignore list then you know why.

Well, you know what you can do with your opinion. I've seen you post to others and you were rude and obnoxious. Look at yourself lately? You are full of brown sugar and you obviously don't have a life. Who are you to come here and insult me? I stated that I did not wish to receive any more false accusations and yet you come here and post them anyways? Doesn't that make you the one with the problem?

I have no problem with people disagreeing with me but when someone outright lies about who I am then I will correct it. A lot of you have very dysfunctional styles of relating and that is probably why you think it is normal to be a backstabber. I knew your apology was insincere. You just try to portray an image but there is nothing behind it.

Why don't you grow up. Backbiting and gossiping is childish and that is exactly what you do.

I only need sincere Christians praying for me not phony hypocrites.

Thank you and you are on my ignore list.

Good day to you.

Had to get a cake out of the oven so now I can continue. Since you have such a big mouth then you won't mind being put in your place. You talk about rude? Really? You were on that post regarding the woman with marriage problems and you told her basically does your husband have to slap you for you to figure out he doesn't want you? What kind of comment is that considering you are supposed to be a Christian? Even if I didn't like someone I wouldn't say something like that. You have no control over your mouth. That woman told you more than once basically to buzz off but you kept coming back and harassing her. You are the one with the problem and based on how long you've been here and how many posts you have made either you have nothing better to do or you are an internet addict.

Believe me, you are the last one to point fingers and judge me. I didn't realize there were so many ignorant people on here who call themselves Christian. When I ask for prayer that is what I asked. I didn't ask for false judgments and accusations. And at least when you or anyone else is corrected on a false judgment they should at least have the decency to respect the other person's boundaries. You don't do that.

And if you like backstabbing then good for you. I don't and won't put up with it.

Stop!!!!



Godly loving people extended kindness and Godly wisdom. They have prayed and over looked your anger to see a person in pain. Please stop attacking these people who are my family and whom I love.

I pray you find peace and the answer's you seek but your hostility to people who only wanted to help you has to stop.

I've seen this pattern in every thread she visits. Feed a troll and they will just grow bigger. Ignore it and they wither away.

I'm not a troll. I came here looking for support and posted a prayer request. Where does it say in your Bible that you are supposed to bear false witness against your neighbor?

I have given support to some people on here so you are a liar. I will even search and re-post here to prove it.

Yes if they are Godly they would but there are those on here who are not. You only care about yourself. I only got angry when I was falsely accused and I tried to correct the false accusations more than once but it is like no one cares to listen to the truth. You accuse me of attacking? What do you call winging around false accusations? Is that not attacking? What do you call accusing someone of being a troll of which I am not. Is that not attacking?

What has to stop is people coming here to gang up on me and falsely accuse me. How is someone helping me when they don't listen and keep saying the same false accusations over and over again. To come here for prayers and support and only get malicious false accusations is deplorable. I was even called a martyr and I did not elicit anyone's sympathy on here. I was only explaining how God has protected me in my life in response to the only person who made a response on here that really helped me. And then this person takes that and twists it to say I am a martyr? That is sick.

I'm sorry but if you or anyone else is going to falsely accuse me of anything then I will correct it. If someone really cared then they would just pray for me or else ask questions and try to understand my situation instead of making flippant judgments and if they did assume wrong then at least have the decency to accept that they were wrong.

I think if you reread this thread with an open heart.. you will find the answer to why somebody would walk out of your life and not look back.

Maybe thats what our heavenly Father wanted you to see. God bless you

Okay. You say I am abusive. Well I think you are projecting your faults onto me. Here is how you support people on here who are hurting along with me on my post.

This you consider to be mature and helpful but I dare to disagree.

According to you:

"Short of smacking you in the head, your husband is SCREAMING that he no longer wants to be with you!!"

"He keeps telling you he does'nt want to be with you. That he wants to move on, and he wants you to do the same. He called to get his mail, that's all."

"Jesus does'nt want you to stay in a love-less, one-sided marriage with an unbeliever who is practically chomping at the bit to get free."

"He may believe in God, but it is rather clear he no longer believes in your marriage."

" Actually, I'm single which gives me a better viewpoint since I'm not biased by having a husband myself."

"When you told him about going to the bar, and having guys hit on you, what kind of reaction did you expect him to have? Of course he would be mad, and probably jealous too!" (Hey, but you just stated in previous posts that this man doesn't want his wife so who is kidding who here?)

"There is alot of immaturity in your relationship, on BOTH sides. I agree that the two of you need good quality intensive counseling because obviously this is'nt going to work itself out with the way you're approaching it."

"I have not intended to sound insensitive or rude in my replies, and I'm sorry if I offended you BUT I call everything as I see it. It sounds like you are both immature and need to grow up. You're definitely in need of some good quality counseling!! You came on here asking for advice. But you seem to only want to hear positive advice, and not negative." (So I'm not the only one you have told to grow up. That figures!)


So there you go and you point fingers at me?

I would ask that you explain exactly what you mean by that and who you are referring to that walked out of my life and never looked back. I can't consider what you are saying if you don't explain what you are saying clearly. That way there are no misunderstandings.

Thank you.