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What is it with everyone forgetting to pay me this week? I've never actually had a problem with anyone paying me late before. Must be the stress of preparing for the holiday weekend. Parents of my students usually hand-deliver checks to me on the first lesson of the month, so this week is pay-week. On Tuesday, the father of 4 of my students forgot to write me a check at all, and I had to bring it up at the end of the lesson. He apologized and said it slipped his mind. He wrote a check, no big deal. On Wednesday, one mom dropped off her son, but said she wrote a check and forgot to bring it. She brought it to me the next day, but didn't check the invoice and accidentally didn't pay the right amount, so now I'm waiting on her to give me another check with the rest of the proper amount. Thursday, one of the moms dropped off her two girls at my house with a note that said "sorry, forgot my check!"
Sigh. People. I is poor college student. I need da monies.
Sigh. People. I is poor college student. I need da monies.
I like all of them. Also read 'Prophet'. Even Ted Dekker's books are good - Three, the Circle Trilogy and Obsessed.
Moving on to my random thoughts...
I don't understand why it is difficult to have what you want. If all these years of struggle and pain has not been enough, what's the guarantee that the future will be better? God hears prayers but it's like sometimes He works on His own .. I sometimes need a break so badly .. And that's when the biggest of problems come tumbling into my lap.. As if what I already had wasn't enough!
Moving on to my random thoughts...
I don't understand why it is difficult to have what you want. If all these years of struggle and pain has not been enough, what's the guarantee that the future will be better? God hears prayers but it's like sometimes He works on His own .. I sometimes need a break so badly .. And that's when the biggest of problems come tumbling into my lap.. As if what I already had wasn't enough!
I could really use prayer today, friends. Today is a really really big and exciting day, but to be honest...my mom is kinda ruining it by letting stress and anxiety overcome her. My boyfriend's parents don't like high-stress people and I tried explaining to my mom that the biggest way she can bless me AND make a great first impression on them is to just relax. Yes, let's tidy up the house and e good hosts, but I want to enjoy today. It is a sweet, sweet day marking a major milestone and I don't want this memory clouded by my mom's negativity. This morning started out so peaceful. I was gathering ingredients for the menu tonight and tidying up the house. Then my mom came home at noon and within 3 minutes she had turned the atmosphere of our home into one of anxiety. She also managed to insult me and my capabilities as a hostess and future bride within that time span as well.
Bottom line is I just want tonight to be a joyous occasion with sweet fellowship, and my mom is really on the path to destroying all of that. Prayers would be very much appreciated.
Bottom line is I just want tonight to be a joyous occasion with sweet fellowship, and my mom is really on the path to destroying all of that. Prayers would be very much appreciated.
firstly, i'll be praying for you LNF. congrats. i'm so happy for you. : )
don't put so much pressure on yourself for everything to be perfect, yannow?!? it's going to be a memorable, special day, regardless of what your mom pulls. choose to accept that and don't give her the power to emotionally manipulate you through her selfish actions.
i don't know if this helps, but i'll share a couple of my secrets to coping with this flavor of family drama:
the way i deal with my mom (who does a lot of what you describe, including what you just shared) is that i have a couple visualization exercises.
i put on my "teflon hoodie" and zip it up to my chin. i refuse to allow anything she says or does to penetrate my being. i consciously choose to reject it, her stress, her words, her whole energy and attitude. i just let it flow away from me. it may sound kind of hokey, but this has probably spared me from having a coronary at a young age. or being in prison for matricide.
just don't react to her. validate her in a manner that diffuses her garbage. and just roll with the punches. today isn't about her, anyway. teflon doesn't hold on to things. it doesn't retain stuff... it just deflects it all away. try to allow everything to just wash away from you, emotionally.
oh, and if that doesn't work:
for the people i simply can't deal with? i just put them on "the big escalator in the sky",directly to God.
eject them from the game. watch them go slowly go up that big escalator from your mind's eye. watch them leaving your field of irritation. send their drama and baggage with them too.
buh-bye. the end. kthnksbi. : )
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Been praying for you. Is your mom a perfectionist? In her mind, could her criticism of you been in the spirit of trying to help, but backfired in its delivery because she is stressed out over the meeting?
Maybe that's just how she is, and you can look at it this way - she cares.
she can still use that glass of wine, though.
Maybe that's just how she is, and you can look at it this way - she cares.
she can still use that glass of wine, though.
Must stop taking for granted my usual good night's sleep habits. On the other hand, a zombified by a couple of too little sleep nights cinder should be entertaining for the rest of you all.
More importantly, while searching for a zombie picture I discovered there is a plants vs zombies 2 game. I think I know what I want for my birthday now.
More importantly, while searching for a zombie picture I discovered there is a plants vs zombies 2 game. I think I know what I want for my birthday now.
Big canvases can be intimidating, huh? But SO FUN!! This one was 48"x36". I painted over it three times (frustrating numerous people with my perfectionist tendencies) before settling on a Louisiana theme to appease my small amount of cajun blood. 
I find that God manifests himself most for me (not physically but definitely in a strong spiritual presence) when I am crying my heart out alone with myself. No one around to want me to stop. No one around to pretend to care. Just me and God and my own anguish.
Let those walls down when you are all alone, brother. God will meet you when you reach the end of yourself.
You know... I just got home a few hours ago, and started catching up on Streams, and then started getting a teensy bit worried. I feel like you all started blabbering away in here because you knew I was gone!!
I SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING! But I have RETURNED to thwart your wicked plans!
I find that God manifests himself most for me (not physically but definitely in a strong spiritual presence) when I am crying my heart out alone with myself. No one around to want me to stop. No one around to pretend to care. Just me and God and my own anguish.
Let those walls down when you are all alone, brother. God will meet you when you reach the end of yourself.
You know... I just got home a few hours ago, and started catching up on Streams, and then started getting a teensy bit worried. I feel like you all started blabbering away in here because you knew I was gone!!
I SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING! But I have RETURNED to thwart your wicked plans!
I remember a few years ago chatting on the Fourth with this one gal from UK who was doing her internship in Washington D.C.
I asked her how come she's not out and celebrating it but staying home instead and she didn't respond for awhile; then I realized why it would be inappropriate to ask her that question.
Anyways, Happy Fourth of July everyone!
I asked her how come she's not out and celebrating it but staying home instead and she didn't respond for awhile; then I realized why it would be inappropriate to ask her that question.
Anyways, Happy Fourth of July everyone!
J
Hahaha... you are not alone
One day you will be sitting with love of your life, enjoying the summer night with night sky filled with fireworks.
Of course, the best part of it is not the still warm and sticky but romance-filled summer night or the spectacular fireworks but the part that you are with someone you've been waiting for.
God bless!
Today was okay... As in it was bad, then it was a little bit better, then it got bad again, then it got really good.
I feel like I don't meet the expectations of my fiancé's family. Though that shouldn't matter a whole lot, it does matter to me. His dad said if we mess up he'll call off the whole wedding (way to make a girl feel like she's welcome in your family). It doesn't help that I already feel like I don't deserve such an amazing man, when other people seem to think I don't deserve him either. Yeah, I've been through some pretty messed up stuff, and as a result, I'm not totally perfect. All in all, no, I don't deserve him... That's why he's a blessing.
I spent the first part of the afternoon with my fiancé, who helped me feel a little bit better, and then we went to spend the rest of the evening with his family. It was all fine and dandy until I got reminded about the issue the government made for us. Then it was a bad day again. So I took a walk with my little angel of a daughter, and had a good long prayer, telling God that I trust him to take care of our needs and askin him to help me be calm. It worked.
To end the day, I went to watch fireworks with my man and my daughter. (My first time watching fireworks with a significant other).
so it ended well, even if it started bad
I feel like I don't meet the expectations of my fiancé's family. Though that shouldn't matter a whole lot, it does matter to me. His dad said if we mess up he'll call off the whole wedding (way to make a girl feel like she's welcome in your family). It doesn't help that I already feel like I don't deserve such an amazing man, when other people seem to think I don't deserve him either. Yeah, I've been through some pretty messed up stuff, and as a result, I'm not totally perfect. All in all, no, I don't deserve him... That's why he's a blessing.
I spent the first part of the afternoon with my fiancé, who helped me feel a little bit better, and then we went to spend the rest of the evening with his family. It was all fine and dandy until I got reminded about the issue the government made for us. Then it was a bad day again. So I took a walk with my little angel of a daughter, and had a good long prayer, telling God that I trust him to take care of our needs and askin him to help me be calm. It worked.
To end the day, I went to watch fireworks with my man and my daughter. (My first time watching fireworks with a significant other).
so it ended well, even if it started bad