Men and women both have a heavy responsibility. Being a woman, I can only speak from my female opinion. Men, I realize we have stumbled you much too often. We have flashed all our goodies for many reasons. Some of those reasons are just plain wrong. Some are just based in ignorance. Some are based in deception. I'm sure it's very difficult to see a woman walking down the street with all her parts hanging out. It's difficult for some women also, but usually in a very different way. Some women are attracted to other woman, so that may be similar. But I will speak for myself. When I've seen a girl on a billboard or walking down the street, my first instinct is to compare my body to hers. Woman do this all the time. I have a friend who would deny to the death that she is anything but proud of what the good Lord gave her. However, I know by her responses that she is very insecure. One Sunday there were 4 girls in the same dress she was wearing. She kept saying how it didn't really bother her, and then she'd list another person she saw in it and comment on how skinny she was. It's obviously that she wasn't willing to admit to herself that she insecure.
For myself again, I will admit that I have walked down the street in next to nothing wiht the intention to get attention. I'm sorry men, but women do it. I started doing it when I was 15 and was encouraged to do it by my parents. But my heart was broken. I did that because I didn't feel like I was worth anything but a cat call. I didn't feel beautiful or lovable, so I traded it for all that I knew which was sex appeal. I stumbled a lot of men that way and it's very shameful. I haven't done it in many years, but it's a very real struggle I had.
As for deception, I was convinced I was the most hideous thing on the planet, and that I could walk down the street naked without a problem. I challenged that lie. I felt ugly starting from my core, and needed someone to show me what true beauty was. If I wore something revealing my only thought was that I was so hideous it didn't matter. No one was going to look at me anyway. I was wrong. And even though I got lots of bad attention, it never made me feel beautiful.
Sometimes there are wardrobe malfunctions. You wear something you didn't realize was see-through. You find a tear you didn't know was there. you lose or gain a few pounds and you don't realize till you're out the door that your clothes don't quite fit the same way. These things happen. They are a part of life. When I've noticed them, I am mortified and completely self-conscious because so many people say that a girl who dresses provocatively knows it and does it on purpose. This just isn't true. There are plenty of times where I've walked out of the house only to spend the whole day searching for a safety pin. Recently, I got on the bus to go to work. As I sat down the strap snapped off. Now it wasn't easily disguisable so I was forced to walk around in a winter coat all day in the 100 plus degree weather. It wasn't until more than 12 hrs. later that I got to my kinship and burst through the door; "Please tell me you have a sewing kit."
I was at a baptism where an older woman was wearing a long white gown to get baptized in. The problem was, she didn't have much under it. To her it was symbolic. She wasn't thinking, "I'm coming out of this water naked!" I met eyes with a friend and luckily she went running into the waves with a towel just as the granny surfaced. That was several years ago, but just this last summer a friend of mine look at me out of the blue and says, "Go tell Cathy her boobs are hanging out." It didn't really dawn on me what he'd actually said, but I jumped up and gave Cathy a quick embracing hug. I whispered in her ear, "You may want to fix your suit." Now she wasn't aiming to tempt anyone. The other lady wasn't either. Life just happened.
So first, gentleman, I apologize for how women (including myself) have intentionally tempted you. Sometimes we were predators. Sometimes were just lost and misguided. Forgive us. Secondly, Ive also learned (and I'm most definitely not pointing fingers) that many men and women put way too much blame on the women. The female body was made attractive. The male mind and body was made to be attracted to it. That's just reality. You can't fault a woman for looking like a woman. I am a firm believer that while you should be modest, you should not be ashamed and feel the need to hide your body. Let me explain as I know this is easily misunderstood. I look like a woman, and I'm not willing to completely androgenize every part off me that makes me female. This doesn't mean I bare immense amounts of cleavage or dawn booty short and tube tops at a church service. In fact, I do believe you should feel free to dress differently in different venues. I lead worship and I always have a sweater. I almost never bare my shoulders when I'm on stage. I also wear dresses all the time. When I'm on stage, I never wear anything more than jjust above the knee. Many times I will adjust the music stand or remove my shoes so that I'm more covered up. I also don't wear leggings as pants when I'm on stage. However, when I'm in the crowd I wear lots of different things including non-see through leggings with long shirts or t-shirt dresses. I do wear halter tops though if I'm standing in worship, I almost always wear my sweater.
The point is, it's not a sin to be attractive. It's not a sin even to be sexy. That's is how a woman was made, so there is a certain line where men just have to learn to control themselves. Girls should not be forced to wear baggy jeans and t-shirts at all times because men can handle something pretty to look at. In no way am I trying to be condemning. I just think women and men need to realize that it's a good thing when a woman looks like a woman.