Hey Singles,
Something I've been thinking about for a long time is whether or not I could seriously be with someone who had the same kinds of issues as I have.
For example, I dated an alcoholic for 3 years. I had no idea what I was getting myself into but he thought I was perfect for him because I rarely drink (I don't think I ever drank in that 3 years). Of course, there were other factors as well, but the relationship was a total disaster.
I can, of course, see why someone with Issue A would want to be with someone who wasn't dealing with that issue. But in all honesty, I don't think I could be with someone in that situation again.
Many of you may have read in my posts that one of my personal issues is food. I've never "officially" been diagnosed with an eating disorder because my symptoms never quite "qualified". However, if I can be completely honest, I would be scared to be with someone who had food issues as well, and as much as I'd love to meet someone who cooked, it would scare me to date a chef (it might sound strange but when food is like a drug to you and you have to face it everyday, it does become an issue.) I'd be afraid it would lead me into a downward spiral (I've read about relationships between those with eating disorders and they often fuel each other's symptoms, going on extreme diets and/or binging/purging sprees together.)
Oddly enough, I've also struggled with depression since childhood (which is something I WAS officially diagnosed with) but it doesn't phase me much if someone tells me they have problems with depression. In the past, I've dated someone with depression (and yes, it was a disaster as well), but for some reason, I'd sooner date someone with depression than someone with food issues. I have been in relationships in which the person had a history of being abused, and again, I could handle that better than situations dealing with food.
I don't know why. I pray about these things because it's not like you'll never find a person without issues. Rather, I ask God, what kinds of issues have you equipped me to deal with?
How about the rest of you? If you are a smoker/drink/struggle with pornography/whatever it is you fight with, would you date or marry someone who is struggling with the same things, or would it make you worse?
If you want to find someone who doesn't have those issues, how do you feel about, let's say, exposing a non-smoker to your own struggle with smoking?
Would you expect that person to help "keep you good"? And if you are the person who doesn't have that issue, how would you feel about that person looking to you to help keep them on the right path?
I know that for me, I could handle it up to a point, and then I just became resentful--I got to a point where I wanted to scream, "I AM NOT YOUR GOD!!" I struggle to find the balance between relying on God and relying on people--sometimes God helps us THROUGH other people, but sometimes He tells us that in order to win the fight, we have to stay away from certain situations--and relationships.
What are your thoughts?
The polls is anonymous, multiple choice, and I know it doesn't cover all the bases, but I just wanted to get an idea of what people were thinking. Please feel free to post as well!!!
Something I've been thinking about for a long time is whether or not I could seriously be with someone who had the same kinds of issues as I have.
For example, I dated an alcoholic for 3 years. I had no idea what I was getting myself into but he thought I was perfect for him because I rarely drink (I don't think I ever drank in that 3 years). Of course, there were other factors as well, but the relationship was a total disaster.
I can, of course, see why someone with Issue A would want to be with someone who wasn't dealing with that issue. But in all honesty, I don't think I could be with someone in that situation again.
Many of you may have read in my posts that one of my personal issues is food. I've never "officially" been diagnosed with an eating disorder because my symptoms never quite "qualified". However, if I can be completely honest, I would be scared to be with someone who had food issues as well, and as much as I'd love to meet someone who cooked, it would scare me to date a chef (it might sound strange but when food is like a drug to you and you have to face it everyday, it does become an issue.) I'd be afraid it would lead me into a downward spiral (I've read about relationships between those with eating disorders and they often fuel each other's symptoms, going on extreme diets and/or binging/purging sprees together.)
Oddly enough, I've also struggled with depression since childhood (which is something I WAS officially diagnosed with) but it doesn't phase me much if someone tells me they have problems with depression. In the past, I've dated someone with depression (and yes, it was a disaster as well), but for some reason, I'd sooner date someone with depression than someone with food issues. I have been in relationships in which the person had a history of being abused, and again, I could handle that better than situations dealing with food.
I don't know why. I pray about these things because it's not like you'll never find a person without issues. Rather, I ask God, what kinds of issues have you equipped me to deal with?
How about the rest of you? If you are a smoker/drink/struggle with pornography/whatever it is you fight with, would you date or marry someone who is struggling with the same things, or would it make you worse?
If you want to find someone who doesn't have those issues, how do you feel about, let's say, exposing a non-smoker to your own struggle with smoking?
Would you expect that person to help "keep you good"? And if you are the person who doesn't have that issue, how would you feel about that person looking to you to help keep them on the right path?
I know that for me, I could handle it up to a point, and then I just became resentful--I got to a point where I wanted to scream, "I AM NOT YOUR GOD!!" I struggle to find the balance between relying on God and relying on people--sometimes God helps us THROUGH other people, but sometimes He tells us that in order to win the fight, we have to stay away from certain situations--and relationships.
What are your thoughts?
The polls is anonymous, multiple choice, and I know it doesn't cover all the bases, but I just wanted to get an idea of what people were thinking. Please feel free to post as well!!!