A question about living with a boyfriend/girlfriend

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hospitalpharmacist

Guest
#21
#21
To all who replied thank you very much but this is was just a question because I needed to clarify this point. I'm not involved in it. Yes there is a man I like and I wish to know deeply but we didn't decide anything about it yet.
After this discussion many of you wrote that living together is not appropriate because of temptations and I agree with you because devil is always lurking and we don't have to put us in situations that can help the devil's work. But think only for a moment to a woman who has been abused since she was a child by all the members of her family. She is an adult but she can't leave family home because she is unoccupied. What would be your advice if she decides to live with his boyfriend to escape from her family home? Is it still unwise or this man could have been someone sent by God to help go out from that terrible familiar situation?
Note this woman cant' go to report abuses to police because she doesn't have evidences of them.
 
just-me

just-me

Banned
#22
Mar 4, 2013
7,761
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#22
hospitalpharmacist said:
To all who replied thank you very much but this is was just a question because I needed to clarify this point. I'm not involved in it. Yes there is a man I like and I wish to know deeply but we didn't decide anything about it yet.
After this discussion many of you wrote that living together is not appropriate because of temptations and I agree with you because devil is always lurking and we don't have to put us in situations that can help the devil's work. But think only for a moment to a woman who has been abused since she was a child by all the members of her family. She is an adult but she can't leave family home because she is unoccupied. What would be your advice if she decides to live with his boyfriend to escape from her family home? Is it still unwise or this man could have been someone sent by God to help go out from that terrible familiar situation?
Note this woman cant' go to report abuses to police because she doesn't have evidences of them.
Click to expand...
Find a church and a pastor that can help. there probably is a family or and elderly couple in the church that could be a bridge to a better life, and mentors such as this girl (maybe you) never had. To live with people that are married and God fearing is better than living with your boy friend. This is what a good assembly does for the sake of representing our Savior properly.
 
C

clayservant

Guest
#23
#23
[h=3]1 Thessalonians 5:22[/h]Amplified Bible (AMP)

[SUP]22 [/SUP]Abstain from evil [shrink from it and keep aloof from it] in whatever form or whatever kind it may be.


[h=3]Romans 14:20-22[/h]Amplified Bible (AMP)

[SUP]20 [/SUP]You must not, for the sake of food, undo and break down and destroy the work of God! Everything is indeed [ceremonially] clean and pure, but it is wrong for anyone to hurt the conscience of others or to make them fall by what he eats.
[SUP]21 [/SUP]The right thing is to eat no meat or drink no wine [at all], or [do anything else] if it makes your brother stumble or hurts his conscience or offends or weakens him.
[SUP]22 [/SUP]Your personal convictions [on such matters]—exercise [them] as in God’s presence, keeping them to yourself [striving only to know the truth and obey His will]. Blessed (happy, [SUP][a][/SUP]to be envied) is he who has no reason to judge himself for what he approves [who does not convict himself by what he chooses to do].

As a believer you not only have to watch out for your walk with the Lord, BUT you have to look out for your brothers and sisters in the faith. you may be able to do some things that some christians are weak in right now. so if you can live together without having sex, there are others that are watching you and they may not be that strong, but by seeing you do it they think it is ok for them to do it too, so just for the sake of other weaker believers you should not do it.
 
Drett

Drett

Senior Member
#24
Feb 16, 2013
1,663
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#24
Wow, I can't believe some of the incredible bad advice on this thread.
 
resurrection33

resurrection33

Banned
#26
Dec 19, 2009
27,513
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#26
hospitalpharmacist said:
I ask if there is something in the Bible regarding living with a boyfriend or a girlfriend before getting married. I know that having sex before marriage is a sin but what about if two persons live together but as their faith is strong, they decide not to have sex until marriage? Is it a sin either?
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I don't see a sin in two people living together, if they don't have sex, but you should be aware of something VERY important: You might fall out of love with this man and into love with another. If the second learns that you were living with another man, he likely won't believe you WEREN'T having sex, and he likely, therefore, won't fall in love with you.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#27
#27
The bible says two things relating to this 'avoid the appearance of evil'. How will it look to others that you two are living together? The automatic assumption is you are sleeping in the same bed and having sex. So, you have just ruined your witness to non-Christians and your credibility to Christians.
Also it says to 'flee from temptation'. Are you really fleeing from temptation by living with someone? How can you be around someone that much, alone, and feeling close and never have any temptation to have sex?

So you look bad to others while putting yourself into the path of temptation.
 
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Trax

Guest
#28
#28
hospitalpharmacist said:
I ask if there is something in the Bible regarding living with a boyfriend or a girlfriend before getting married. I know that having sex before marriage is a sin but what about if two persons live together but as their faith is strong, they decide not to have sex until marriage? Is it a sin either?
Click to expand...
Yes, it is a sin. You would put a stumbling block in front of others and set a bad example.
God will not use you in that situation. The fact that you are at the point of even asking about
this, should show you how far you have gone spiritually. You mention "faith is strong".
Is it?? At the point of asking, you've taken several steps off the straight path. People
don't ask, "is it ok to eat rat poison", because that isn't something they want to do.
They don't go out of their way to find a loop hole in the Bible, in order to eat rat poison.
It just isn't a great temptation. But you have started in a direction, and you'll continue
in that direction if nothing acts upon the situation, or you change direction. People wont eat
rat poison physically, but they'll jump at the chance to do it spiritually and try to justify it.
 
thecreationtutor

thecreationtutor

Senior Member
#29
Jun 30, 2011
2,521
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#29
hospitalpharmacist said:
I ask if there is something in the Bible regarding living with a boyfriend or a girlfriend before getting married. I know that having sex before marriage is a sin but what about if two persons live together but as their faith is strong, they decide not to have sex until marriage? Is it a sin either?
Click to expand...
It will be fornication quickly
 
S

ServantStrike

Guest
#31
#31
I see no one has mentioned Ephesians 5:3. It pretty much says a resounding NO. We are to act in a manner that is above reproach. Even if you do not fall into sexual immorality, a reasonable person may conclude that you have, thus you have hinted at it even if you never intend to do it.

This verse also kills a lot of other fun activities, like taking a campling trip as just the two of you for the weekend. Invite a friend, or get married first. Or have a room mate if this needs to occur for financial reasons.


Ephesians 5:3. I'm going with NIV on this one as it is actually the translation with the most restrictions.
3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#32
Jan 24, 2011
11,782
2,947
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#32
It sounds to me like the OP is trying to escape a very bad situation. I do not think discussing the temptation of this escape is the issue.

If you are being abused or have been, you don't need proof to go to the police. They will find it. Whether it is physical, emotional or sexual. Please contact a pastor if possible, otherwise go to the police.

I do not think you should live with this person, no matter how kind they are, and how much they care for you. I speak from experience that comforting you when you are hurt (which you seem like) could turn out to be much harder to resist than you could imagine. I ended up marrying my husband and we have had some real ups and downs in our marriage, because of that time when I was escaping, and he helped me and we had no boundaries or people around us to stop us.

It has turned out to be a happy marriage, but we went through a lot, first. And I am very worried about your present situation, more than what will happen if you move in with your boyfriend. Please set your life in order by contacting the proper authorities. I will be praying for you!
 
H

hospitalpharmacist

Guest
#33
#33
Angela53510 said:
It sounds to me like the OP is trying to escape a very bad situation. I do not think discussing the temptation of this escape is the issue.

If you are being abused or have been, you don't need proof to go to the police. They will find it. Whether it is physical, emotional or sexual. Please contact a pastor if possible, otherwise go to the police.

I do not think you should live with this person, no matter how kind they are, and how much they care for you. I speak from experience that comforting you when you are hurt (which you seem like) could turn out to be much harder to resist than you could imagine. I ended up marrying my husband and we have had some real ups and downs in our marriage, because of that time when I was escaping, and he helped me and we had no boundaries or people around us to stop us.

It has turned out to be a happy marriage, but we went through a lot, first. And I am very worried about your present situation, more than what will happen if you move in with your boyfriend. Please set your life in order by contacting the proper authorities. I will be praying for you!
Click to expand...
Thank you for your advice, I appreciated very much. What keeps me by going to police more than to have no evidence maybe it's the fear of the consequences I could have in family. As I know that, if there are no proofs of crimes, police doesn't get you in a shelter, I'll keep living with my family. I have no place where to go. My relatives are unknown people for me because my family isolated me by them. So where I could stay? This is for I asked this question: to clear my mind about this issue.
I really don't like who judged me telling me I'm going the wrong path because I asked this question. To this person I remember the verse "Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.…" Matthew 7:1
 
Huckleberry

Huckleberry

Senior Member
#34
Aug 25, 2013
1,698
96
48
#34
hospitalpharmacist said:
Thank you for your advice, I appreciated very much. What keeps me by going to police more than to have no evidence maybe it's the fear of the consequences I could have in family. As I know that, if there are no proofs of crimes, police doesn't get you in a shelter, I'll keep living with my family. I have no place where to go. My relatives are unknown people for me because my family isolated me by them. So where I could stay? This is for I asked this question: to clear my mind about this issue.
I really don't like who judged me telling me I'm going the wrong path because I asked this question. To this person I remember the verse "Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.…" Matthew 7:1
Click to expand...
You are a 41 year old woman who is a pharmacist, right?
Can you rent an apartment and live there by yourself?
 
T

TannarDarr

Banned
#35
Aug 31, 2013
651
3
0
#35
hospitalpharmacist said:
I ask if there is something in the Bible regarding living with a boyfriend or a girlfriend before getting married. I know that having sex before marriage is a sin but what about if two persons live together but as their faith is strong, they decide not to have sex until marriage? Is it a sin either?
Click to expand...
You can live together with no marriage license and have sex now. But when you do, then you are married. The government's LICENSE for marriage doesn't have anything to do with the faith.

Now, if you have sex and "divorce" you face the whole adultery thing.
 
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TannarDarr

Banned
#37
Aug 31, 2013
651
3
0
#37
Trax said:
Yes, it is a sin. You would put a stumbling block in front of others and set a bad example.
God will not use you in that situation. The fact that you are at the point of even asking about
this, should show you how far you have gone spiritually. You mention "faith is strong".
Is it?? At the point of asking, you've taken several steps off the straight path. People
don't ask, "is it ok to eat rat poison", because that isn't something they want to do.
They don't go out of their way to find a loop hole in the Bible, in order to eat rat poison.
It just isn't a great temptation. But you have started in a direction, and you'll continue
in that direction if nothing acts upon the situation, or you change direction. People wont eat
rat poison physically, but they'll jump at the chance to do it spiritually and try to justify it.
Click to expand...

how is it a sin?

BIBLE not opinion please?
'
 
K

Kerry

Guest
#38
#38
I haven't read all the post, But in the bible marriage was consummated by sex. They would exam the sheets, after the couple had done the deed, to look for blood. If there was no blood, the women was considered a harlot and could be stoned to death. A covenant in the bible is affirmed by blood. Marriage was intended By God as blood covenant, Meaning that which should not be broken. So you can live together in you site, but if you are conjugating or have conjugated. In the eyes of God you are married. Preacher or not Justice of peace or not. You tied the knot.
 
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Trax

Guest
#39
#39
TannarDarr said:
how is it a sin?

BIBLE not opinion please?
'
Click to expand...
It was explained in the first sentence of my post. It said, "Yes, it is a sin. You would put
a stumbling block in front of others and set a bad example."

1Co 8:12 But when ye sin so against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience,
ye sin against Christ.

The basis of 1 Cor 8, is about this behavior. Not only do you set a bad example to
the body of Christ, but a stumbling block to the unsaved.
 
T

TannarDarr

Banned
#40
Aug 31, 2013
651
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#40
Trax said:
It was explained in the first sentence of my post. It said, "Yes, it is a sin. You would put
a stumbling block in front of others and set a bad example."
Click to expand...
That doesn't explain anything, it just bases a presumption on another presumption.
If it is not a sin, which it can NOT be a sin, then there is no bad example set. That's just obtuse.

Trax said:
1Co 8:12 But when ye sin so against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience,
ye sin against Christ.

The basis of 1 Cor 8, is about this behavior. Not only do you set a bad example to
the body of Christ, but a stumbling block to the unsaved.
Click to expand...
You PRESUME IT IS A SIN FIRST, to declare it is a bad behavior.

You haven't proven anything.

IT IS NOT A SIN, necessarily, therefore the example would not necessarily be bad.

For you to determine it is a sin for HER, would mean you judge her knowing absolutely nothing about her.

If she lives with him, and they pretend to be bunny rabbits in heat, it is still not a sin, If they honor that commitment to each other. Because for all intents and purposes to GOD they are then........

wait for it..........



hold on......

MARRIED!

If you think having a State's government issued piece of paper admitting you made a commitment to each other is relevant to GOD, Well, I'd like to introduce you to GOD!!!
 
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