It may have been said in your church from your pastor from the pulpit or you may have heard it among the believers, but this is an evil teaching from the pulpit that it is not an unforgivable sin to get a divorce.
Why is it evil? That is like saying you can use God's grace to commit sin. Think about it.
Is it an unforgivable sin to commit murder? Is it an unforgivable sin to commit suicide? See that slippery slope? That is what the devil would say to tempt someone. No one should be hearing that preach from the pulpit. The elders are sleeping when that happens.
No one likes to get "involved" in other people's marriages. The ole society's standard of minding your own business is actually running against scripture.
Matthew 18:[SUP]11 [/SUP]For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost.[SUP] 12 [/SUP]How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray?[SUP] 13 [/SUP]And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray.[SUP]14 [/SUP]Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish. [SUP]15 [/SUP]Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.[SUP] 16 [/SUP]But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.[SUP]17 [/SUP]And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.
Does that sound like ignoring believers when they go astray?
What did Paul say about marriage troubles and why people should get married?
1 Corinthians 7:1Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.[SUP]2 [/SUP]Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.[SUP]3 [/SUP]Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.[SUP]4 [/SUP]The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.[SUP]5 [/SUP]Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency..........[SUP]8 [/SUP]I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.[SUP]9 [/SUP]But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
Pastors nowadays give counseling before giving the couple the permission to get married, but no counseling to prevent getting a divorce?
Paul continues....
1 Corinthians 7:[SUP]10 [/SUP]And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:[SUP] 11 [/SUP]But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
No divorce.. separation is allowed with no dating other people.. duh..that is like playing with fire.... but no divorce.
Paul continues with marriages where one is a believer but the other is not.
1 Corinthians 7:[SUP]12 [/SUP]But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.[SUP]13 [/SUP]And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.[SUP]14 [/SUP]For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.[SUP] 15 [/SUP]But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.[SUP]16 [/SUP]For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?[SUP] 17 [/SUP]But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
So if the unbeliever departs.... wants that divorce... you can get a divorce as Paul states by permission, but Paul explains why you should not get a divorce when the unbelievers does not want a divorce when he is still consenting to live with you. However, speaking by permission and not by commandment...if the unbeliever is an abusive spouse, that is hardly someone "pleased" to dwell with her.
Jesus even cites why the church should be involved.... that it is YOUR business.
Matthew 18:[SUP]18 [/SUP]Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.[SUP]19 [/SUP]Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.[SUP]20 [/SUP]For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
So a believer can get a divorce from an unbeliever; and that believer can marry again if that believer so desires.
But when this involves a believer.....who obeys not the word any more or for some reason stops being a believer...Christ still abides in that believer.
2 Timothy 2:[SUP]13 [/SUP]If we believe not, yet he abideth faithful: he cannot deny himself.
If he or she still pleased to dwell with the believing spouse or the spouse that is abiding in His words, we have this exhortation....
1 Peter 3:1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;[SUP] 2 [/SUP]While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.[SUP] 3 [/SUP]Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;[SUP] 4 [/SUP]But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.[SUP] 5 [/SUP]For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:[SUP]6 [/SUP]Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.[SUP]7 [/SUP]Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.[SUP] 8 [/SUP]Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:[SUP] 9 [/SUP]Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.[SUP] 10 [/SUP]For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:[SUP] 11 [/SUP]Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.[SUP] 12 [/SUP]For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.[SUP] 13 [/SUP]And who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good?[SUP] 14 [/SUP]But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled;[SUP]15 [/SUP]But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:
A lot of believers have gotten divorced and remarried and so it is like a can of worms talking about this for which the pastor and the church steers from this topic, even to the point of saying that evil teaching from the pulpit.
What is done is done but there is a call for repentance. You cannot say that evil thing that it is not an unforgivable sin to get a divorce. That is what the devil will say. If there are grounds for the divorce... there would be no need to say that, right? It is the church business to get involved just as much as they were involved when the couple got married.
But many have divorced and remarried and so couples should be taking this matter to the Lord for forgiveness and help in following Him Biblically and not do what society says nor what a church compromised by society says.
Easier said than done. If you are feeling the burden.. roll it over to Jesus for help and guidance in according to His words as to what He is enabling you to do or to say. I know it will be hard to get a church to be involved when routine is to stay out of people's business regarding troubles in marriage where divorce is in the conversation, but just pray.
Even if to edify the pastor to dictate the solution for the couple to be separated for a while, praying & fasting to come together again if it is their unwillingness to forgive each other because of whatever other than adultery. If it is about domestic violence.... definitely separation... and if it is an unbeliever doing that abuse... get a divorce. That is not a spouse pleased to live with that believer.
Course, it is against the law to commit acts of domestic violence, but so many women put up with it wherein I think the church should demand separation of spouse and children from the abuser. And men should not be ashamed for speaking up when the wives are the abusers. Men cannot be around all the time to make sure wives are not abusing the children. Indeed, even children may take the abuse if it means keeping their parents together. They may even think it is a christian thing to do to put up with physical abuse.
1 Peter 2:[SUP]19 [/SUP]For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.[SUP] 20 [/SUP]For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.[SUP]21 [/SUP]For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:[SUP] 22 [/SUP]Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:[SUP] 23 [/SUP]Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:[SUP] 24 [/SUP]Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.[SUP]25 [/SUP]For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.
They certainly can read that as an example set by our Lord Jesus Christ. Someone, the spouse or a child may have that faith & love & patience & longsuffering to hope in the Lord to see the goodness of the Lord in that situation.
Romans 12:1I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.[SUP] 2 [/SUP]And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.[SUP] 3 [/SUP]For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.
So it may be hard to find the truth when claims of only the spouse is being physically abused and not the children.
Verbal abuse can be just as bad or worse.... leaving no evidence other than being a witness to the scene to be able to respond, but Jesus is Lord. Trust Him as your Good Shepherd for all things.
As programmed by society to mind our own business, I would be surprised if churches get involved like they are supposed to.
1 Corinthians 12:[SUP]25 [/SUP]That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.[SUP]26 [/SUP]And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.[SUP]27 [/SUP]Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.
We do have this guideline for what is considered a busybody because they are idle.
2 Thessalonians 3:[SUP]10 [/SUP]For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.[SUP] 11 [/SUP]For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies.[SUP]12 [/SUP]Now them that are such we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they work, and eat their own bread.
This was about the church taking care of widows that have no children taking care of them.
1 Timothy 5:[SUP]8 [/SUP]But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.[SUP]9 [/SUP]Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man.[SUP]10 [/SUP]Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.11But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry;[SUP]12 [/SUP]Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith. 13And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. 14I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
What is the difference? There is being nosy to be a tattler for gossip and then there is coming across a trespass...
Matthew 18:[SUP]14 [/SUP]Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.[SUP]15 [/SUP]Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
It is when the brother refuses to repent or he does not believe he is in error is when you get 2 or 3 witnesses to confirm the word. And only then if he refuses to repent, he or she needs to be brought before the congregation.
We know the churches in these latter days have not been practicing as instructed in the early church days because we hardly hear of excommunication. Indeed, keeping memberships is more important and so any correction by the pastor or the church will be done indirectly from the pulpit, hoping he or she gets the message. Then it gets worse when a church accepts social values to make compromises in the Bible to be seen as politically correct to get new members.
It is no wonder when a pastor from the pulpit will say stuff like... "It is not an unforgivable sin to get a divorce."
And the elders as well as the rest of the church just lets him get away with saying that. Are we awake yet?
Romans 13:[SUP]10 [/SUP]Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.[SUP]11 [/SUP]And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed.[SUP]12 [/SUP]The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light.
1 Corinthians 15:[SUP]33 [/SUP]Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.[SUP]34 [/SUP]Awake to righteousness, and sin not; for some have not the knowledge of God: I speak this to your shame.
Ephesians 5:[SUP]13 [/SUP]But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light.[SUP]14 [/SUP]Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.[SUP] 15 [/SUP]See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,[SUP] 16 [/SUP]Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.[SUP]17 [/SUP]Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.
2 Timothy 3:[SUP]12 [/SUP]Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.[SUP] 13 [/SUP]But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived.[SUP] 14 [/SUP]But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them;[SUP] 15 [/SUP]And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.[SUP] 16 [/SUP]All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:[SUP]17 [/SUP]That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.