He’s not hiding anymore
“For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.”
2 Corinthians 4:6
his face was hidden from Israel because of thier constant transgression and abominations. His face is revealed in Jesus Christ and the gospel offering remission of sins that hide us from the lords face
That all sounds very spiritual but in the nitty-gritty of life, when you pray for relief and justice and it doesn't come then it's hard to sustain that. It seems as if the promises are all a lie.
Do you think the apostles didn't question as they were about to be beheaded, or hung upside down on a cross? Or the numerous martyrs down through the years? I'm sure they all questioned. God says he wants truth in our innermost being and I'm truthful enough to face the fact that sometimes it all doesn't make sense and those Christians who try to sound spiritual don't know yet - not until they cross the bridge of deep, intense, prolonged, suffering.
It's easy to have faith when you're in a comfy house, well-fed, and in good general health - it's when all those things go wrong and you cry out for relief and none comes is when the rubber hits the road and when you think: wait a minute...what about all those promises?
It's a deeper kind of wrestling because you know what happened to you with spiritual rebirth and yet when it comes to claiming all the promises it just doesn't cut it. God ignores your cries.
I read about those who walked away from their faith. One young lady was from all accounts a strong believer; then she was brutally raped. She felt different from her Christian peers and tried to continue on for awhile. Then she couldn't keep up the charade anymore and became an unbeliever - where was God when that happened?
A pastor at a bible study we went to told of a woman whose daughter burned to death in a makeshift trailer at a theme park. She walked away from God. She eventually went back the last I heard but I don't know now.
I saw a documentary about a young Guatemalan girl promised work in America by a Mexican grandmother. Instead the Mexican grandmother made her a prostitute. She was kept a prisoner in a dirty Texas building and raped up to 100 times a day. I'll never forget the detective said "She was a religious girl and she couldn't understand how God could let that happen to her."
Besides the physical and emotional trauma that young lady probably had demonic transfers as I read that's how it occurs. Those memories will always be with her: smells, sights, feelings - will all be triggered.
I watched the worst documentary ever: An American Crime about two sisters left in the care of a psychopath. I can't even recount it - it upset me so bad. I yelled at God - the girl went to church - that's where her parents met the psychopath who tortured and murdered her.
I'm sure as she lay on the cold basement floor after being tortured she called out to God. No help came.
It's easy to be an armchair theologian but let something really bad happen and that's when you find out if the promises are true or not. All the flowery language and pious Scripture quoting doesn't cut it. You prayed and God didn't answer.
There is so much I don't understand yet but I do question God - as soon as I wake up, through the day, and when before I sleep.
My former snooty Christian 'friend' was sickening. I look back on who she and her husband really were - not who I thought they were. They taught Bible, attended church every week, and then when it came time to really walk their talk they cheated that older black couple out of the money they owed them - using the excuse that 'they didn't have insurance.'
I've encountered many of those types. They fill churches across America. But when the time comes they're just as greedy and ungodly as the unchurched.
My husband did thousands of dollars worth of work on our former church and yet when he could not longer do it when I got so bad the pastor completely cut me off. It's actually laughable now when I look at it. Real big Christians. At least I can laugh about it. That's when you really see what someone is made of.
Getting back to the sleazy lawyer. This is what I'm dealing with: he's such a liar and manipulator he emailed me and tried to make himself out to be the victim. I've lived through so many battles I've lost count but I know almost all of the tactics and one of them is playing the victim. I know how words are used and misused. It was actually comical that he tried that on me because I've lived through so much that he couldn't do it. I do believe God also gave me wisdom and discernment. I still can't understand why he won't give me victory. But therein lies my struggle.
My husband attained a top position and dealt with many people. He told me the "mediation" was a lie - that they had the low amount agreed upon before it even happened. Now the greedy son of satan is trying to take more - and he probably has a buddy judge who will declare that he gets even more.
I did prevail in another case with God's help however. A misguided sibling tried taking thousands out of my inheritance and got a corrupt lawyer to try to take it. I was forced to battle them for two years. We went to court and unbelievably the judge was honest and sided with me. The corrupt sibling and corrupt lawyer were publicly shamed. They should have both gone to jail. The lawyer's boss - a "Christian" called me and told me that he and his 73 lawyers would sue me and force me to remove my honest review - which I surmise was damaging his business.
I didn't remove it.
It's illegal to threaten someone in that manner but lawyers break the law all the time.
So I've seen so much and while I know what happened to me was real and I have seen God move I still question. Not much makes sense to me. I know we see through a glass darkly but I'm weary. I think my faith is faltering because faith cometh by hearing and I stopped reading the Word every day but even when I read it every day without fail bad things happened. It's as in Psalm 73.
I've sensed God so close at times - and I long for that - 'as in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water.' Yet life plugs on and hardships and I only get blips of those close times with God.
These are just my honest struggles and if others were honest they'd admit them too - but most Christians aren't honest. Most don't have a deep faith that's exercised in the trenches of life. I've seen it and lived it.
1
