Deuteronomy 22:28–29 Why don't Church singles group encourage singles to get married?

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JohnB

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#21
Maybe they don't encourage it because they've witnessed the relationships of married friends. 😄
Than they need to do a much better job of teaching singles to do a better job of choosing. But that takes work and they won't.
 

JohnB

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#22
Interesting Paul said, "But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust. " 1 Corinthians 7:9 I once talked to a church teacher about this verse and he said, "That's no reason to get married"....yet Paul said it is. I should have told him that. GOD gave a clear answer to responding to lust and the church is doing everything it can to avoid that answer.
 

ResidentAlien

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#23
In Deuteronomy 22:28–29 GOD said if a couple has been found to having sex, they are to get married and the man must pay the father a brides price. Paul encouraged singles who lack self control to get married. In the church singles groups I've been around they keep pushing self-control, no one on one dating only group dating, even no touching until after you're married. It seems GOD and Paul gave practical advice.
Marriage is good, but if someone is teaching self-control that's good too. Even a married man must exercise self-control. I suppose a married man might find it easier to have self-control but it's not guaranteed.

I've found the best way to have self-control is to simply exercise self-control with His help. A man who gets into a marriage expecting it will solve all his self-control issues will have a rude awakening. Marriage is a lot of things, but it's not a cure-all for self-control issues.
 

JohnB

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#24
Marriage is good, but if someone is teaching self-control that's good too. Even a married man must exercise self-control. I suppose a married man might find it easier to have self-control but it's not guaranteed.

I've found the best way to have self-control is to simply exercise self-control with His help. A man who gets into a marriage expecting it will solve all his self-control issues will have a rude awakening. Marriage is a lot of things, but it's not a cure-all for self-control issues.

Paul also warned of the issues with marriage, you would have problems too....but which is worse, burning with lust or dealing with problems in the marriage. I'll take the marriage.
 

ResidentAlien

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#25
Paul also warned of the issues with marriage, you would have problems too....but which is worse, burning with lust or dealing with problems in the marriage. I'll take the marriage.
I know Paul said it's better to marry than to burn with passion. I don't think he meant by this that marriage would solve all of a man's self-control issues; nor does it relieve the man of all responsibility for his own self-control. If a man can't keep his hand off of his girlfriend or fiancée then maybe they should think about marriage; but the man still has to take responsibility for his own self-control or the marriage is doomed.
 

JohnB

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#26
I know Paul said it's better to marry than to burn with passion. I don't think he meant by this that marriage would solve all of a man's self-control issues; nor does it relieve the man of all responsibility for his own self-control. If a man can't keep his hand off of his girlfriend or fiancée then maybe they should think about marriage; but the man still has to take responsibility for his own self-control or the marriage is doomed.
It's much easier to do that within a marriage, you have some relief in a marriage. You also have to take responsibility of many other things. It's a trade off. Churches should be teaching this, instead of avoiding it.
 

Lanolin

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#27
its cos baby boomers have no clue. They only had marriages thanks to govt help with jobs and housing. The economy was set up for it.

Nowadays if you marry you will drown in debt and your children are going to be badly off with zero inheritance (or inheritance to a badly polluted earth)
 

ResidentAlien

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#28
It's much easier to do that within a marriage, you have some relief in a marriage.
Some men may find it easier within marriage, the average male for example. But in today's world more and more men are totally out of control; marriage would do nothing to help this kind of person. Their only hope is learning self-control.

I am certainly for marriage, I'm not knocking it. Churches should definitely teach it, but as something more than just an outlet for a man's sexual gratification. They should teach both marriage and self-control.

If a man gets married thinking it will be the solution for his "burning," what will he do after his wife has a child and doesn't want to do it? Or what if she's not in the mood because of an illness or something else beyond her control?
 

Lanolin

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#29
Churches seem to go along with whatver social engineering govts decide.
 

Lanolin

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#30
the other thing is Catholic churches DO teach it as a way to recruit converts to their cults. Holy matrimony and all that.

But not everyone wants to be catholic.
 

Lanolin

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#31
Some men may find it easier within marriage, the average male for example. But in today's world more and more men are totally out of control; marriage would do nothing to help this kind of person. Their only hope is learning self-control.

I am certainly for marriage, I'm not knocking it. Churches should definitely teach it, but as something more than just an outlet for a man's sexual gratification. They should teach both marriage and self-control.

If a man gets married thinking it will be the solution for his "burning," what will he do after his wife has a child and doesn't want to do it? Or what if she's not in the mood because of an illness or something else beyond her control?
he usually has an affair and/or rapes his wife..divorce and .womens refugees attest to that
 

Lanolin

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#32
OR, he becomes a hypocrite, goes online and looks at porn
 

MsMediator

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#33
Jesus and Paul were clear that being single or married were fine. There is no requirement for either. Both basically said that those with self control issues with lust should get married. Both basically said if you can be celibate, be celibate and remain single. I don't remember them saying that people who dont want to get married (and don't mind being celibate, either because it is their natural state or it is a small sacrifice) to get married.
 

MsMediator

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#34
Paul also warned of the issues with marriage, you would have problems too....but which is worse, burning with lust or dealing with problems in the marriage. I'll take the marriage.
No, a bad marriage is worse than dealing with self control. The Bible says it is better to live alone on a roof than with a nagging wife.
 

JohnB

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#36
What I find interesting about Deuteronomy 22:28–29 28 "If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; " This is not about rape, it's consensual,....... the clause "If they are found out".... So only if there is a witness, or one confesses, or she has a child.....there is no punishment? Nothing happens? Someone want to explain this verse.
 

Lanolin

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#37
Didnt Dinahs brothers kill her fiance even though he got circumcised and promised to marry her?

I think they tried to prevent their inheritance being lost otherise there seemed to be no reason for it, they claimed it was cos Dinah was used as a whore. I dont know. he was actually prepared to marry her.

But then Israel didnt always follow or do what God wanted.
 

JohnB

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#38
Didnt Dinahs brothers kill her fiance even though he got circumcised and promised to marry her?

I think they tried to prevent their inheritance being lost otherise there seemed to be no reason for it, they claimed it was cos Dinah was used as a whore. I dont know. he was actually prepared to marry her.

But then Israel didnt always follow or do what God wanted.

What they did was wrong, but I'm looking at what was given in the law.
 

Lanolin

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#39
what is the difference between self control and birth control
I think in some church families, people DO get (secret/illegal?) abortions, especially if the couples are young and unmarried.
Otherwise not sure if churches actually advise them to marry anymore. Or maybe they do, I dont know, it just seems young unmarried women would make the majority of abortion clients because the fathers of their child (whether christian or not) are unprepared to marry them.
 

Lanolin

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#40
What they did was wrong, but I'm looking at what was given in the law.
why, the law was given to those under the old covenant. Its not what we live with today.