Forgiveness, if understood in the below way, is something that a person can do naturally . . . and I mean to forgive all people who have ever caused harm. I would have appreciated this teaching from our pastors (as it seems to reflect the message of the Bible):
Romans 7:17, 20 NKJV - "But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me." ... 20 "Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me."
If this additional entity within Paul caused him to disobey (before he knew Christ), then we can give a similar form of Grace and Understanding that Paul extends to himself. It is this very understanding that allowed Paul to forgive himself for imprisoning, torturing, and killing good Christian people, for he didn't know what he was doing. And this is the essence of what Jesus, Stephen, and Paul all said about others, which was, "Forgive them, Father, for they know not of what they do."
Why would we ever be upset with a person if we are able to realize that whatever problems a person (or child) is causing . . . they are not the source of it. Instead, it is the Devil who is running the program within them. Therefore, be upset with the Devil, but forgive (or simply Understand) the person. Hence, "hate the sin, but love the person." Paul teaches that it is the Sinful State of a person that is the root of evil in their life. Without the Sin Nature, what are we? We are simply human with an accompanying Human Nature. What is the definition of the Human Nature? Servant. That's right . . . the Human Nature is to serve, and it will do whatever it is told, or perhaps even suggested to do (think Adam and Eve prior to sinning when they followed the advice of Satan). This is the person who Paul was referring to . . . which was his God-given Human Nature when he said, "It isn't me sinning!" But a person who still possesses the Sin Nature . . . this person will continue to harm himself and those around him. Conversely, a person who has been cleansed of this Sinful Way, it is removed and replaced by the Divine Nature of Christ, and it is this Nature Who tells the Human Nature what to do, and it thus obeys.
We need to be patient with those who have yet to have their Sinful Nature cut out and removed. For, the sin that comes through them . . . does not come [from] them. We've got to remember that it is the Sinful Way that generates sinful behavior. So as we punish others for their wrong-doing, it is important to make a distinction between the two. I would have appreciated my parents teaching me these things as a child . . . instead of using belts and garden hoses as instruments of managing the wrong things we often did.
Think about it: Why does it hurt so much to be punished? Because the good side of us, the Human Nature side, is innocent and struggles to understand why things are painfully the way they are. The Human Nature is unfairly innocent of transgressions against another, yet here we stand . . . holding the smoking gun, so to speak. Satan gets his way and performs the dirty work through us, and yet there we stand with the convicting evidence in our hands and there isn't anything we can do about it. We all have this good, basic Human Nature to us all . . . but we must all turn to Christ to have the Evil Nature carved out of our Hearts. Once this is done . . . living in a continual state of forgiveness will be easier than breathing air. We must receive the Holy Operation of Faith of Christ in order to forgive this precise way. We cannot forgive in this way until we are whole and complete through, and by, Christ alone.
(Read the below with your favorite translation . . . they're all amazing. NLT is phenomenal)
Colossians 2:9-15 KJV - "For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily. And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power: In whom also ye are circumcised with the circumcision made without hands, in putting off the body of the sins of the flesh by the circumcision of Christ: Buried with him in baptism, wherein also ye are risen with him through the faith of the operation of God, who hath raised him from the dead. And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses; Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to his cross; And having spoiled principalities and powers, he made a shew of them openly, triumphing over them in it."