You make some good points. Sending people to hell doesn't sound like a very loving God. The whole "send people to hell doctrine" I think doesn't line up with God's character. There's a verse that says that Gods will is that none shall perish.
What I wanna know is what happens to non-believers who die? If sheol is the original word for death then would that mean that non-believers will simply cease to exist? Cuz Sheol also means grave right? Then there was a psalm where someone says how the dead don't think or reason or feel. So is that what happens to non-believers?
Read Ecc 12:7
in this verse Peter is talking about how that God puts off justice for a while, for example you're not struck down by a flaming meteor or a lightning bolt the moment you sin, and we're not immediately exalted when we do His good will. he says God is "not slack" -- i.e. He's not procrastinating. He lets things run their full course, and part of the reason is His mercy - giving us every opportunity to repent, and for those who reject Him, every opportunity to see the good things He does and seek Him.
Add to it the rest of the verse and it seems pretty self explanatory...
2Pe 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise,
as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.
He is not willing, it is not His desire that any should perish. It is His desire that all come to repentance. This does not mean that all do, it means that God does not wish for any to perish but some do and their end result is destruction...
2Th 1:8 In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
2Th 1:9 Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power;