Define "spaghetti noodle."
As far as the analogy goes, a person with a conviction that is weak and soft, and easily broken will probably not challenge your ideas in a meaningful way. And at least if a stubborn person can learn the truth, they might stubbornly hold to the truth.
I haven't seen self-proclaimed popes on CC, but I think there are a lot of people that take strong positions because they don't want to be moved, or broken too easily.
I definitely agree that diversity of opinion (with respect to what Jesus taught) is bad; but I'm pretty sure it's not going to go away today either. And it's better than uniformity founded upon lies. To the op question "how do we presume to be christian": I suppose if you believe on Jesus and walk in the truth you know and earnestly seek the truth you don't, then that's a good start. People with a genuine hunger and thirst for righteousness will be filled; they will eventually abandon false teachings for the water from the pure well. The people that enjoy licking up mud puddles, maybe not so much.