I wish GOD had made match making easier and not guess work

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Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
61,160
30,309
113
#81
An arranged marriage concedes that marriage is essentially a business transaction. The ineffable feeling of heart stopping truly madly deeply in love, is missing, or at least in the beginning for some.
And where does that feeling lead? Divorce. Chasing after feelings. Marriage is a contract.
 

Pilgrimshope

Well-known member
Sep 2, 2020
14,669
5,910
113
#82
If that's the case, then why don't we do that. That much silver isn't a lot of money in today's culture.

Many cultures have some kind of dowry or bride price. English, and to some extent American, culture still has a customer of the bride's father paying for the wedding. Some cultures put that on the man, and some cultures have exchanges of gifts. I know one people-group where the bride buys the man with gold, but I hear they may give the gold back behind the scenes and just go through the ritual as a tradition in some cases.

Jewish culture, at least, required bridal consent. Rebecca had agreed to marry Isaac, as a Biblical example.



There are references to these types of feelings in the Bible. Amnon had a kind of 'love'-- bad agape we could say if we look at the LXX-- for his own sister. There is Samson and the Philistine woman, and Micah and David.... these aren't the best examples. Solomon and the Shulamite. Isaac loved Rebecca. It was an arranged marriage, but he loved her deeply. God His hand in the arranging.

The Bible says 'Husbands love your wives.' It doesn't say, 'Only marry a woman if you are in love with her.' or 'Stay married to her as long as you are in love with her.' ---two ideas from modern culture.

I wanted to have feelings for the woman I married. I wasn't raised in an arranged marriage culture, and that would have been weird to me. But I can see the benefits of some people, even from our non-arranged marriage culture, possibly getting some help getting set up with someone, and maybe a nudge from parents here and there.
“If that's the case, then why don't we do that. That much silver isn't a lot of money in today's culture.”

because it’s Moses law and not the gospel It’s earthly and not eternal it’s old and not new
 

Pilgrimshope

Well-known member
Sep 2, 2020
14,669
5,910
113
#83
And where does that feeling lead? Divorce. Chasing after feelings. Marriage is a contract.
yeah I’m not sure marriage was ever about feelings it was more practical agreement how could one populate the earth without a mate ?

when we get married though there’s a commandment to love and honor one another even when the feelings are feeling the love we’re meant to act in it
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,165
1,795
113
#84
“If that's the case, then why don't we do that. That much silver isn't a lot of money in today's culture.”

because it’s Moses law and not the gospel It’s earthly and not eternal it’s old and not new
It's also not wrong to have bride prices. It's superior to husband-prices. What message does that send?

Lots of cultures have similar cultures. It isn't forbidden for a people-group to have a bride price... just because it is in the law of Moses.

You won't go to Hell for not eating pork or for sowing just corn in your field, either.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,281
2,561
113
#85
Most cultures? I don't know if that is still the case. The global 'westernized' culture has spread quite a bit. I have lived in a couple of Asian countries, in cities. There were soft versions of arranged marries-- soft where the marrying couple could turn it down-- going on in the background there, and maybe in the villages. In Indonesia, a maid who went to my church who had come to faith in Christ faced pressure from her father who was trying to match her up with a Muslim man in the village. Young women from my wife's father's village who went to college could match up with boyfriends they met through dating there, and they started arranging marriages if they got a little up in years, though I heard my wife's cousin was kind of set up. My wife was surprised because she was pretty, and could find a man. The woman died relatively young, too a few years back.

I don't know who would count, but it is possible most people-groups still have some arranged marriage customs that are in practice while the majority of the world may generally match up through more modern dating practices. Many people-groups have small numbers, and larger people-groups may live more in the cities where dating is more common.

Dating can also be different from how it is in the US. In South Korea, going on a blind date with the third wheel who is matching you up is common. I got set up on one once without realizing it.



Is arranged marriage common among this people group? It's interesting that that survived.

I met a couple who are probably in their 50's, maybe late 50's. They both migrated to the US from Cuba. The man's parents mentioned a girl they wanted to set him up with. I don't think it was exactly an arranged marriage. Maybe it was. But the man went to a party and met this young woman who had just arrived from Cuba, and he really hit it off with. They ended up shaking up together. It turned out it was the same girl his parents wanted to match him up with. But the parents were upset that they had moved in together. Neither of them were believers, and Communist atheism had damaged the sexual morals of Cuba also. But they both eventually became Christians.



Why don't you go down to Brazil, attend church, and let a girl catch you? If she's pretty and sweet, you could run really, really slow.
I'm a very happily married man...not up for a new wife at all.

And as for the boy and girl in Slovakia...it was his choice...one the parents are going along with. (Because I asked)
 
Oct 15, 2022
53
14
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#86
Both men and women are not to chatter in house of God while preachers are giving a sermon. Timothy document this. Marriage, read Corinthians chapter 7 , Paul gave his advice on it. And Corinthians chapter 6 will document, that light and darkness has nothing in common, and temple of God has no concord with temple of BELIAL. Christian people and heathen are not compatible !!. The Christian will be pressured to compromise their values and beliefs.