Dear Jesus,
I tried my best today but it wasn't my best.
Do you still love me?
I think you don't.
You see I think that if I don't give my best then I don't truly love you, then you do not truly love me.
You see, my past can dictate my future and I walk in the present.
Do you still love me.
You said many things while on earth.
One thing that sticks out is "Be perfect just as the Father is perfect"
How can I be perfect?
I'm a broken person, I can't be perfect but I want to be.
Do you still love me?
I go to bed and think of all the things I didn't do.
When I do is that wrong?
Or do you want to tell me about the things I did do and encourage me?
Even when I think of the wrong.
Do you still love me?
You see when I reject you I do so because I think you will reject me.
When I do that.
Do you still love me?
Lord I cry my eyes out, I just want to be like you.
But people tell me if I don't do, and do do then I don't really love you or lack faith.
I listen to them and am heavy.
Do you still love me?
I was told once because I was not baptised or spoke in tongues then I was not saved.
But I placed my faith in you.
But they say to me that I do not love you.
Is that true?
Do you love me?
I didn't know my earthly father.
A few shocking memories.
He went to hit my mum, he missed and broke my face.
He laughed and said it's my mum's and my fault.
Did my earthly dad love me. Afterall I deserved it. It affects my life.
Is that love?
God do you love me?
You say you love me.
The bible tells me so.
What is this love?
How does it work?
It's easy to relate to life experiences.
You know this, afterall you created us knowing that this would happen.
Does this love order us to comply and if you don't then I'm gonna break your face?
Seems some think this and preach it.
You said that you loved the world so much that you gave Jesus, so that whoever believes in him will be saved.
That seems the love you have for me.
I don't get it, dont always get but want and to walk in it.
Is that enough?
God do you still love me?
I tried my best today but it wasn't my best.
Do you still love me?
I think you don't.
You see I think that if I don't give my best then I don't truly love you, then you do not truly love me.
You see, my past can dictate my future and I walk in the present.
Do you still love me.
You said many things while on earth.
One thing that sticks out is "Be perfect just as the Father is perfect"
How can I be perfect?
I'm a broken person, I can't be perfect but I want to be.
Do you still love me?
I go to bed and think of all the things I didn't do.
When I do is that wrong?
Or do you want to tell me about the things I did do and encourage me?
Even when I think of the wrong.
Do you still love me?
You see when I reject you I do so because I think you will reject me.
When I do that.
Do you still love me?
Lord I cry my eyes out, I just want to be like you.
But people tell me if I don't do, and do do then I don't really love you or lack faith.
I listen to them and am heavy.
Do you still love me?
I was told once because I was not baptised or spoke in tongues then I was not saved.
But I placed my faith in you.
But they say to me that I do not love you.
Is that true?
Do you love me?
I didn't know my earthly father.
A few shocking memories.
He went to hit my mum, he missed and broke my face.
He laughed and said it's my mum's and my fault.
Did my earthly dad love me. Afterall I deserved it. It affects my life.
Is that love?
God do you love me?
You say you love me.
The bible tells me so.
What is this love?
How does it work?
It's easy to relate to life experiences.
You know this, afterall you created us knowing that this would happen.
Does this love order us to comply and if you don't then I'm gonna break your face?
Seems some think this and preach it.
You said that you loved the world so much that you gave Jesus, so that whoever believes in him will be saved.
That seems the love you have for me.
I don't get it, dont always get but want and to walk in it.
Is that enough?
God do you still love me?
It is not the size or quality of the gift, it is the gift comes from your heart, freely given, out
of love.
In the mess of ones life, the hurts, the disappointments, the ambitions, the expectations,
nothing before the Lord matters other than just being with Him.
"Be still and know I am God" Do you know this? Do you hear it? Does it dwell in you?
Do you know He has forgiven you? Not just what you think you know, but everything.
Do you know He has bound Himself to you, so you can walk with Him, one step at a time?
It is knowing the seed that is in our hearts, not that we fully know it, or that it is yet worked
through, but it is there.
Finding love in oneself is hard. To forgive oneself, to weep and know the pain, so hard, so
terrible, and know we are loved, completely here. This is the cross. And He knows our weakness
and our hurts and things that need dealing with.
We think we have to do, but it is we have to be, in Him. It is that love from Him that is our life
that changes things.
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