It's hard to get across thoughts in this way but we can only do the best we can.
What I mean is there are no amount of works we can do to save ourselves. The price is more than we can ever pay. We are sinful and no amount of works can fix that. Only the grace of God by the blood of Jesus can cleanse us of sins. The question is who gets the gift. If I understand you correctly, God determines who gets it and who does not. In a way I agree. I understand it as those who answer the call get it. You quoted Jn. 6:37. The context is 35 Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst. Whoever, that is anyone who comes anyone who believes. Those are the ones the father has given, those who come, those who believe.
What I mean is there are no amount of works we can do to save ourselves. The price is more than we can ever pay. We are sinful and no amount of works can fix that. Only the grace of God by the blood of Jesus can cleanse us of sins. The question is who gets the gift. If I understand you correctly, God determines who gets it and who does not. In a way I agree. I understand it as those who answer the call get it. You quoted Jn. 6:37. The context is 35 Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst. Whoever, that is anyone who comes anyone who believes. Those are the ones the father has given, those who come, those who believe.
restate which I probably need to do more than anyone else, so don't sweat it.
I understood/understand your point about who gets the gift, but my point was/is that only those who have already received it are they who can answer the call (depending upon what you mean by answering the call), but, it comes FROM having become saved, it does not lead TO nor does it bring salvation: there is nothing a person can do to save themself - God just gives it freely, totally without and any preconditions to those whom He had chosen, at the time He had chosen. This is what makes Him an exceedingly gracious and merciful God - that He already accomplished all on our behalf, to include everything relating to it. Those saved may not even immediately realize it has happened to them when it occurs but comes as a progressive realization over time.
In the verses you quoted, the "whosoever" does not represent everyone; the "whosoever" are only those chosen by God. No one can truly believe (although some do for a time but eventually fall away, but that kind of belief originated from their intellect, not from God), nor can come to Him unless first given by God that they do so- until and unless that occurs, we remain dead in sin and blind to Christ unable to come to Him. Observe below that only those drawn and taught by the Father come to Jesus. And those taught cannot, not, come to Jesus. Conversely, those not taught therefore cannot come to Him. They are those whom God had so chosen for such, not everyone is. In your last two sentences above, I believe you have the order reversed - that is only those the Father had chosen are they who come to believe and not the reverse. If it is by us, then it can't be by the Father, and there would therefore be no need to be taught of the Father because we would already know it and already have the faith to do so, so there would be no need to be taught about Jesus. But our faith is not what saves us. Our faith is a gift given by the Holy Spirit as His fruit, upon becoming born-again, upon becoming saved. We become saved only by Christ's faith, faithfulness and works which alone brought forth salvation and which becomes imputed to those whom He saves - it is all by God, nothing by us.
[Jhn 6:43-45 KJV]
43 Jesus therefore answered and said unto them, Murmur not among yourselves.
44 No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day.
45 It is written in the prophets, And they shall be all taught of God. Every man therefore that hath heard, and hath learned of the Father, cometh unto me.
On the day of Pentecost, Peter says 40 And with many other words he bore witness and continued to exhort them, saying, “Save yourselves from this crooked generation.” They've heard the gospel message, it's now up to them. Then the bible tells us who were added. Added being put into Christ, the father giving them to Christ by the Holy Spirit adding them. 41 So those who received his word were baptized, and there were added that day about three thousand souls. We see that those who believed and were baptized were added. Just as Jesus said, 16 Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.
Observe that only those ordained to eternal life believe.
[Act 13:48 KJV] 48 And when the Gentiles heard this, they were glad, and glorified the word of the Lord: and as many as were ordained to eternal life believed.
The "will be saved" of verse 16, is the salvation of the last day. Salvation consists of two parts: positionally/spiritually saved by God at a time of His choosing during our lives, and the final manifestation of salvation on the last day.
[1Co 5:5 KJV] 5 To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
If it is as you say I would think the bible would be worded very differently. Why does Jesus even tells us of the foolish virgins. It's not their fault they're foolish, God didn't choose them nor supply them with what they needed. There is nothing for the chosen to be gained from it and there is nothing the non chosen can do about it. If only those who are chosen are saved and they can't be lost, then why do we see all these warnings and so on?
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. 9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. 9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
The Bible is replete with edification from God so that His chosen learn about Christ and His salvation, which He desires that they do. They, even though saved, do not wake up one morning automatically knowing all spiritual doctrine, they must be taught and learn it
over time, which occurs throughout their lifetime.
[Eph 4:11-13 KJV]
11 And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers;
12 For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:
13 Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:
Hope this makes more sense but I got a feeling we're speaking two different languages.