Physical Attractiveness is Vain

[Mitspa]

Interesting...

I find that - more often than not ( it seems ) - people like to 'skim' a post - note the few words that stand out to them - and then use their imagination to fill in the rest... ( i.e. - reading comprehension 10% imagination 90% )

In other wods, people tend to not read what other people have actually written. And, they always seem to be ready to make a reply before they have a chance to "take in" and contemplate "what exactly it was that someone else actually said in their post"...

For as long as folks operate in this kind of mindset, they will post out of [ reactionary ] emotion and not [ reflective ] intellect.

Be carful Gary ...

 

[Budman]

I feel pretty, oh, so pretty.....

 

[blue_ladybug]

Interesting...

I find that - more often than not ( it seems ) - people like to 'skim' a post-note the few words that stand out to them - and then use their imagination to fill in the rest... ( i.e. - reading comprehension 10% imagination 90% )

In other words, people tend not to read what other people have actually written. And, they always seem to be ready to make a reply before they have a chance to "take in" and contemplate "what exactly it was that someone else actually said in their post"...

For as long as folks operate in this kind of mindset, they will post out of [ reactionary ] emotion and not [ reflective ] intellect.

Ummm, if this was in response to sadkitty personally, then I suggest you go and re-read the part in her testimony where she stated she is blind in one eye. Obviously reading every single word is probably very difficult for her. What she said IS true. People here DO analyze every word of people's posts. Many do anyway, not all but many.

Now for YOUR reply here. I suggest you re-read the parts I highlighted in red, then go back and re-read sadkitty's testimony, and contemplate on what YOU skimmed through and commented on, and what you missed, which was the statement that she is blind in one eye.

I'm not trying to criticize you, Gary. It's just that this is how your response came across to me, and also Violet and Mitspa, since they both also commented on it. I think maybe you owe sadkitty an apology, especially since she might take your post the way we did.. ? I'm sure you probably weren't directing your reply at her personally, but still the tone of it came across differently and seemed a little accusatory..

 

[VioletReigns]

This does not go along with your argument about beauty, or lack there of, or whether or not you should do anything to uphold/enhance your appearance, but isn't this a Christian site? If it is, why does everyone on here feel the need to stick their nose in the air and argue or just click ignore when someone tries to express a different point of view? If we are all Christians here, why don't we acknowledge each others comments, and even debate, respectfully? What good does a bunch of rude responses do? We are supposed to try our very best to act Christ-like. And on a side-note, throwing around a bunch of Bible verses means nothing if you aren't practicing what you are preaching.

I see you are a new member. Welcome, my sister! And thank you for pointing out your observation. And you are absolutely right to be concerned. It's a shame you had to witness the contention.

I started this thread because my heart was burdened for those who are hurting and feeling alone and rejected. I wrote the first draft and worked on it until I felt in my heart that it was sufficient. I prayed over it and asked God to help me choose a title for it. I prayed that people’s hearts would be comforted and encouraged. Once I submitted it, I knew there would be people who would disagree with it in some way, because after all, it’s the internet and things can get easily misconstrued. It's understandable. But above all, I had faith God would touch people’s hearts and comfort them.

Without naming names, the comments I received that were in disagreement, I attempted to address. When my attempts were met with further disapproval, I felt agitated in my heart as I saw the purpose of the thread being overshadowed by debate. My desire was to encourage people, not debate semantics. I grew more agitated.

I know I have a warrior spirit in me that rises up when I see people being harmed and I run ahead of God. It is a weakness in me that wants to protect people with the Sword of the Spirit (Word of God) just like Peter used a sword to cut off the guard’s ear who was arresting Jesus. I am wrong to do this, I know. I recognize that in me. I don’t deny it.

I have no excuse. Jesus says to me all the time, “Peace, My beloved. Be still.” ALL THE TIME I hear Him remind me. And yet I still sometimes allow my eyes to focus on those I assume (I know, assuming is not good) are agitators. I was so excited that the Lord gave me the go-ahead with the thread and was so joyful with expectation that people would be blessed and encouraged.

It was breaking me apart to watch the thread turn into a debate instead. I lost patience, got angry and tried to put the thread back on track. I didn’t understand why some thought it more important to give their opinion than to focus on comforting and encouraging each other. I wanted it to be a blessing, not an argument.

Nevertheless, it was a lesson for me because it made me recognize that I am impatient and restless. I still tend to run ahead of God. And the reason I put people on ignore is because I don’t want to be tempted to argue with them any further. The reason this site has an ignore button is because you can get banned for disrupting fellowship. There is no reason to believe putting people on ignore is wrong when this site says it is the Christian thing to do. The ignore button helps people to calm down and wait on the Lord. It is beneficial in keeping the peace.

I am sorry you were disappointed with the debating. I’m sick to my stomach about it. But you were kind enough to offer your insight and I believed I owed you an explanation and an apology. Thank you sister for expressing your concern. I pray in Jesus’ name you are blessed on this site and find wonderful fellowship and friendship.

 

[crossnote]

You trying to play matchmaker now?

I may have worn that hideous sweater in my late teens for a laugh, but erm NO. As I am getting older, I also realise that I look much better in a shirt and more formal clothing, I am looking to start wearing a waistcoat without jacket as that is now apparently a fashionable thing to do. I like ties too, but I don't really get to wear those often, maybe I should.

oh gee, and here I sit in my shorts, a tee and flip flops

 

[crossnote]

As a man, this topic drives me nuts (I think men have a whole different perception). My wife in her fifties is and always has been way above average in natural beauty (whatever that actually means) to me. She has always seen herself as "less than" and as time goes on she recluses more and more from gatherings be it Church, restaurants, stores etc.
Almost like an anorexic who sees themselves as fat while all along getting thinner and thinner, she sees herself as ugly no matter what I say or even others to the contrary. As a guy I really don't get it but it is very concerning.

 

[BarlyGurl]

As a man, this topic drives me nuts (I think men have a whole different perception). My wife in her fifties is and always has been way above average in natural beauty (whatever that actually means) to me. She has always seen herself as "less than" and as time goes on she recluses more and more from gatherings be it Church, restaurants, stores etc.
Almost like an anorexic who sees themselves as fat while all along getting thinner and thinner, she sees herself as ugly no matter what I say or even others to the contrary. As a guy I really don't get it but it is very concerning.

Crossnote, Go buy your wife a gift (not a beauty product), but something that is personal and precious (a locket or bracelet maybe) and write a card out TELLING her she is beautiful to YOU and more so BECAUSE of the passing years... Proverbs 16:31

Be extravagant in this one thing... and I think she will lay aside her doubts.

 

[Angela53510]

As a man, this topic drives me nuts (I think men have a whole different perception). My wife in her fifties is and always has been way above average in natural beauty (whatever that actually means) to me. She has always seen herself as "less than" and as time goes on she recluses more and more from gatherings be it Church, restaurants, stores etc.
Almost like an anorexic who sees themselves as fat while all along getting thinner and thinner, she sees herself as ugly no matter what I say or even others to the contrary. As a guy I really don't get it but it is very concerning.

I used to feel this way, too! Then I put on a 60th anniversary for my parents in 2008. I got my mom's wedding pictures to display and saw how incredibly beautiful she was. Then I realized I looked a lot like she did. So I looked at some old pictures of me - my university grad photo and so on, and realized I was quite beautiful. So while I am old, on the heavy side now, I was somehow in my mind, through the help of the Holy Spirit able to realize I was not ugly, no matter how old I was. It was a real "ahha" moment.

I talked to another high school friend of mine, who was one of the most gorgeous women you could meet. She had long black hair and green eyes, perfect features, a great body, and she also spent most of her life thinking she was ugly. I don't know if she still thinks that, because we never quite finished the conversation.

I would say pray for your wife and affirm her. But these bad thoughts go back a long, long way into childhood. Ask God to give her an "ahha" moment and show her not just her physical beauty, but her spiritual beauty, too!

 

[crossnote]

Crossnote, Go buy your wife a gift (not a beauty product), but something that is personal and precious (a locket or bracelet maybe) and write a card out TELLING her she is beautiful to YOU and more so BECAUSE of the passing years... Proverbs 16:31

Be extravagant in this one thing... and I think she will lay aside her doubts.

Yes, I agree, been there, done that...but no cigar.

 

[BarlyGurl]

Yes, I agree, been there, done that...but no cigar.

Then we will all agree with you in prayer... the Lord will give her an AH-HA moment. Amen.

 

[crossnote]

Then we will all agree with you in prayer... the Lord will give her an AH-HA moment. Amen.

Pray the Lord gives me an Ah ha moment wisdom wise as well

 

[Joidevivre]

No matter what age I was at, I always thought I was not exactly ugly, but also not very pretty. I hated to have pictures taken of me.

As I got older and looked at the same pictures taken years earlier, I kept wondering that I did not see myself as really quite pretty. Sometimes, even beautiful.

So, now, when I see pictures of myself as just blah, I tell myself to look at the same pictures about 5 years from now. And I tell my mirror "YOU LIE".

It must really be that beauty IS in the eye of the beholder.

 

[VioletReigns]

We are falsely taught to view ourselves according to the very thing Christ has made to be no more. If we are crucified with Christ, and the old man has been done away with, why are we still putting any emphasis on the outward man?

We can't mix in our false perceptions with the truth that is Jesus Christ. Flesh and spirit don't mix.

“I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ Who lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God who loves me and gave Himself for me.”

This is Reality. All else is perception. All else is rotting away. The only "real" thing about you now is the faith of Christ Jesus alive in you.

 

[mickig]

Truly vanity is a sin. But this world judges those by looks and appearances. It's like looking at the cover of a book and not opening it up. I've learned over the years that true beauty glows from the inside out. No matter what the physical appearances are if your insides are beautiful, it definitely show on the outside. Having a beautiful heart is the essence of true beauty. It will keep you looking young and God's light will shine.

 

[Billyd]

55 years ago, the first time I laid eyes on my 17 year old bride to be, she was the most beautiful girl that I had ever seen. Today, at 72, she is still the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen. I'll leave the definition of "beautiful" to you.

 

[tourist]

55 years ago, the first time I laid eyes on my 17 year old bride to be, she was the most beautiful girl that I had ever seen. Today, at 72, she is still the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen. I'll leave the definition of "beautiful" to you.

I feel the same way about my wife too, Billy. Nothing vain about it. She is so beautiful to me.

 

[blue_ladybug]

Beauty comes in many forms.

 

[BS]

Beauty comes in many forms.

Yip!

Is it time to visit a hairdresser, what would you say?

 

[VioletReigns]

55 years ago, the first time I laid eyes on my 17 year old bride to be, she was the most beautiful girl that I had ever seen. Today, at 72, she is still the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen. I'll leave the definition of "beautiful" to you.

Amen! ♥ My husband was my best friend. We were so free with one another. Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

 

[melita916]

Yip!

Is it time to visit a hairdresser, what would you say?

nah. you can totally rock that style. hehe