Paul wrote the one who prophesies is greater than he who speaks in tongues, unless he interprets. With interpretation it is edifying to the body.
I agree some have over-exaggerated the importance of speaking in tongues.
I am not sure what you've seen. But I know some Pentecostals would teach against coaching people to speak in tongues. I've seen someone try to coach someone on how to yield to it. I haven't seen Charismatics say, "bla bla bla' or whatever and try to get someone to utter something. I'm sure many Charismatics would be against the idea of trying to get someone to 'speak in tongues' by telling them to repeat certain syllables.
I also wouldn't assert that everything that claims to be speaking in tongues necessarily is, either. I believe in the Bible, but men are capable of all kinds of things.
Well, there isn't such a great divide between us in some ways because you are at least aware of the problems with these thing.
I am not convinced that the Pentecostal/charismatic/Word of Faith expression is biblical, though, and I really have issues with the credibility of any charismatic or Pentecostal I know, in terms of giving them that kind of credibility. Most are making outlandish claims and are internally inconsistent. Some are childish or immoral and others have mental illness. And, by the way, I am not deciding these things myself..they themselves have told me about their bouts with mental illness.
My grandma was a Pentecostal, and as much as I loved her, she was childish in her thinking, and so were the women that gathered for her occasional prayer meetings in her home.
Let me give you an example...my aunt divorced her husband due to infertility and his refusal to adopt. She married another man, and had a child by him. The child was born with cerebral palsy. It is my understanding that my grandma claimed to be speaking for God when she issued a curse against my aunt, in some type of altered voice, and the child was claimed to be the result.
This is according to my memory, which may be fallible, but if my grandma played such games with God, this is abominable. It is not wise to claim you are speaking for God regarding the details of someone's life.
Additionally, I was a member of a cult after this, and the cult often made fun of charismatic behavior. Well....the cult itself had bad doctrine and was in no position to be criticizing others, but seeing the behavior of Pentecostals/charismatics/Word of Faith people on TV did no help in regards to me being able to see that Christians had a reasonable basis for their faith.
For me, that came with being involved with Baptists, Calvary Chapel people, and ultimately Reformed people. Each of these groups had reasonable teachings at some level.
It may be that I was seeing extremes within charismatic circles, but at the same time, it seems like virtually every single charismatic/Pentecostal/Word of Faith person I've met displays peculiarities in critical areas, including maturity, morality, or mental health. So, this is a significant barrier to my openmindedness.
I think it is also presumptuous for charismatics to expect us to believe that their understanding of these spiritual gifts is correct. If their experience are the "spectacles" through which they view Scripture, these experiences guide their understanding of the Scripture, rather than vice versa.
The use of the word "tongues" doesn't help me either..it seems like an ignorant term, as the word "language" is what is meant by the Greek words. Additionally, the first manifestation involved actual human languages. Clearer Scriptures should be the determining factor in viewing less clear Scriptures.
God is free to correct me on any of these issues, but I think He certainly expects me to judge whether any man who is trying to correct me is reasonable. For instance, if I knew the stability and reliability of a claimant through a long relationship with the person and knowing his mental and spiritual health status, then that person would have more credibility with me than some joker on a forum who makes claims. Especially since I have found that some of them are involved in gross immorality or have had issues with mental health.
Anyways those are some of my thoughts on this issue.