Should we exercise caution sharing personal problems in the church?

[Willie-T]

And that is so sad isn't it?

Yes it is. That is why I am so thankful I finally found my home congregation.... But even there, it is not assured that I could say SOME things, and not be eaten alive by back biters.

 

[atwhatcost]

Hi there Marc, thanks for knowing what the name means!!

Infortunately in UK I have not found any of those churches mentioned, and not being a driver I am confined to the town where I live, But I haven't stopped hoping for a real loving fellowship where the commands of Jesus are taken to heart!

Many thanks for reply

I know about as much about the UK as you probably know about Pennsylvania. (There's a good chance you might know more about PA too. lol) BUT I'm going to give you places so you can look up what church is there to find a denomination that doesn't gossip about others.

I know that about that denomination, because we picked our pastor from there, and we aren't into hurting people or gossiping.

The pastor's name is Liam Goligher. (Full name is William, like you can probably guess.) He lived in "Richmond, London," which I can only guess is a neighborhood in London. He said he was working on Duke Street. I'm guessing that means he worked in a church on that street. So, of you can find out the equivalent of "Reformed Presbyterian" on that street, you can find a denomination which might also have a church in your town. I'd be able to give you more, except we call ourselves "The Presbyterian Church in America," which absolutely destroys the idea that it would be called that in your country. lol

But I absolutely know it's one denomination that has roots in your country and will NOT gossip or exploit people. Oh, of course, it's also got the basic Christian tenants going for it, and teaches straight from the Bible - verse-by-verse, beginning-to-end, so there is no time to preach some political or off-topic agenda.

 

[convallaria]

I know about as much about the UK as you probably know about Pennsylvania. (There's a good chance you might know more about PA too. lol) BUT I'm going to give you places so you can look up what church is there to find a denomination that doesn't gossip about others.

I know that about that denomination, because we picked our pastor from there, and we aren't into hurting people or gossiping.

The pastor's name is Liam Goligher. (Full name is William, like you can probably guess.) He lived in "Richmond, London," which I can only guess is a neighborhood in London. He said he was working on Duke Street. I'm guessing that means he worked in a church on that street. So, of you can find out the equivalent of "Reformed Presbyterian" on that street, you can find a denomination which might also have a church in your town. I'd be able to give you more, except we call ourselves "The Presbyterian Church in America," which absolutely destroys the idea that it would be called that in your country. lol

But I absolutely know it's one denomination that has roots in your country and will NOT gossip or exploit people. Oh, of course, it's also got the basic Christian tenants going for it, and teaches straight from the Bible - verse-by-verse, beginning-to-end, so there is no time to preach some political or off-topic agenda.

Thank you for your kindness. I think you are probably right, some of your denominations are called by other names in UK. To be fair, what happened to me was pretty bad, and I couldn't share it even with my family for a long time. It has taken its toll in many ways. But it is amazing how the Lord has looked after me. Unfortunately I can't even give that as a testimony except anonymously because of the personal nature of the problem. Ahhh now there's a thought....I could write about it.

I haven't given up hope for a proper local fellowship, (I am in Wales) but I probably wouldn't share what has happened again unless I was certain that God was prompting me to do so. What worries me is that the world is getting worse and worse, and we in the church don't seem to be equipped to deal with the serious nature of what people go through. I guess I am at least learning what NOT to do through those negative experiences. But it surely is sad and disappointing.

I looked up Liam Goligher on Youtube. He sounds like a good guy who understands what kind of problems the church has in UK - send him back!!! lol

God bless you

 

[convallaria]

You're not the only one like you. I'm like you too. Along with the sensitivity to see the users and the used, there is also the sensitivity to see the ones who are neither. Those are the ones we can trust. Better yet, if they're in the invisible church. (You can still trust nonbelievers, but they tend to have foreign advice to give.)

Good advice, thanks!

 

[breno785au]

A few years ago I was listening to a song by a band named Casting Crowns, its called Stained glass masquerade. I heard the song so many times before but one night I broke down in tears, it was as if the lyrics were opened to my ears. Its mainly a song about those who are hurting in the church not being recognized and everyone appears so strong with their constant smiles but in pain on the inside. First, I wept because that was me, smiling appearing strong but in deep pain. Then I wept about the truth because it happens in churches that I personally knew (can't speak for churches I havent Ben too) Its been a journey regarding this since then, only this year I've been starting to show my true self at church. If I've had a rough week and don't feel like so well, I'll show it. I love the people I meet with, its not perfect, we've had some growing pains and I have a small handful of people that I'm close too where we feel comfortable sharing pretty much anything without condemnation or judgement which personally, has helped me exponentially and I'm grateful for those relationships. One thing our church is focusing on lately is vulnerability with one another, not that we go blabbing anything with anyone but as a family to be understanding and sensitive toward one another. Its an incredibly hard thing but as we learn to put our walls and defences down, everyone benefits.
I suggest you find who you can share intimate, deep things with, those who are wise and of good reputation. We don't need to share everything with anyone, I think there are certain personalities or people that naturally click, you just need to give other people a chance for that to happen. ..I hope this addresses your question?

 

[atwhatcost]

We have it backwards in todays Christianity. A gifted teacher teaches problem solving devices so the believer can handle their problems. Most of us are not taught these problem solving devices and don't know how to handle the problem. So we get advice from other believers who have no clue how to help.

We are basically taught to be fruit inspectors and when someone has a problem the solution is to inspect the fruit. And that helps no one.

Proper order......

rebound......name and site the problem to God(Not to other people) and carry on. Be done with it.
Filling of the Spirit......we are filled with the Spirit again when we name and site our sins to God(Not other people)
faith rest.....rest in His faith. This is true rest.
Grace orientation.....live in Grace. No condemnation in Christ.
Doctrinal orientation......every problem has a solution in His word.
Personal love for God the father...this keeps us in the sphere if the Christian way of life.
impersonal love for mankind.....keeps us from hating or despising those who bug or irritate us.
Sharing the happiness of God...we have assurance and biblical hope in God.
A personal sense of destiny.....no matter what we go through, God has a personal,signature plan for each of us.
occupation with Christ....where your heart is..........


We are to fellowship these kinds of things to others. Then those around us have tools and devices to solve their problems.

Wow! We come from different backgrounds. I never sat under problem-solving teachers (at least in church.) They tended to teach something out of the Bible.

Funny though. I used to teach problem-solving techniques for a social service/help center.