Things that vex or provoke you

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Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
2,278
870
113
#1
In corinthians one of the descriptions of love or charity is that its not easily provoked. See 1 corinthians 13:5

What does this mean? If I'm feeling provoked does this mean Im not being loving?

Are we meant to react calmly all the time when things or people provoke us? How?

Cos I sometimes find this hard, and certain things provoke me, for example. When Im being misunderstood or falsely accused. I tend to take things personally rather than step back and think, well that person just didnt understand, or they just ignorant. Thats completely forgiveable. Maybe I didnt explain it very well. But sometimes it seems they deliberately didnt understand, and are accusing me of misleading them.

What things provoke you? ive noticed theres really tidy people and they just get so upset that other people are messy. But maybe the messy people just hadnt learned to be tidy, or they just dont mean to deliberately mess things up. Sometimes it seems the tidy people have problems that the world just isnt perfect, and it makes them so angry.. Maybe they ought to teach the messy people how to be tidy and be part of the solution rather than be angry all the time. Wouldnt that be a loving thing to do?
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
1,074
890
113
#2
In corinthians one of the descriptions of love or charity is that its not easily provoked. See 1 corinthians 13:5

What does this mean? If I'm feeling provoked does this mean Im not being loving?

Are we meant to react calmly all the time when things or people provoke us? How?

Cos I sometimes find this hard, and certain things provoke me, for example. When Im being misunderstood or falsely accused. I tend to take things personally rather than step back and think, well that person just didnt understand, or they just ignorant. Thats completely forgiveable. Maybe I didnt explain it very well. But sometimes it seems they deliberately didnt understand, and are accusing me of misleading them.

What things provoke you? ive noticed theres really tidy people and they just get so upset that other people are messy. But maybe the messy people just hadnt learned to be tidy, or they just dont mean to deliberately mess things up. Sometimes it seems the tidy people have problems that the world just isnt perfect, and it makes them so angry.. Maybe they ought to teach the messy people how to be tidy and be part of the solution rather than be angry all the time. Wouldnt that be a loving thing to do?
Well your notion of 'teaching messy people to be tidy' is ineffective. Such traits are often about personality rather than being 'taught'. It's not rocket science to pick something up and put it where it goes. Personally, at home, i tend to be pretty messy, yet at work i have trouble working in a messy environment. I wasn't raised in a messy home or with messy people.

Often times people who overreact to things being messy can have this stem from other sources. Sometimes such people feel they are not in control of their lives, so they control what they are capable of to give them a source of control. Others may find that they feel overwhelmed or have trouble thinking in a mess and, as can be imagined, this frustrates them and they feel a need to have things clean to be able to think clearly. While yet others may have a mental illness such as OCD.

As far as your question about the scripture, if you are capable of fully living out All of those, except one, then i would imagine you're doing better than most. Even the people i love most i can struggle with many of those traits. But isn't that how we are to perceive the bibles ideas on living? We know we aren't going to be able to live up to them, but these are the things that are meant to guide you. Things to strive for. Some get achieved, others not.
Everyone has struggles. Different things that can set us off for different reasons. That's part of life. If you struggle with something do some introspection and see why it is that it affects you so much.
 

JaumeJ

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2011
15,432
2,460
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#3
Love is never provokced when it is in Jesus Christ. My only proof of this is Jesusin Hi most awful agony on the Cross when He cried out "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." When we are made perfect on His Great and Glorious Day we shall be just as perfect in our love.

Until that Day we will grow to the perfection by the Work He, Himself, has begun ineach of us. Of course we love when we love our Father so there remains some mystery. Also, jst a note, as you have mentioned we must never becomfortable in our sinning… pRAISE jESUS, amaen.. God bless you always, amen.
 

JohnRH

Junior Member
Mar 5, 2018
203
86
28
#4
In corinthians one of the descriptions of love or charity is that its not easily provoked. See 1 corinthians 13:5

What does this mean? If I'm feeling provoked does this mean Im not being loving?
It doesn't mean you're not being loving, it means you're not 'love'. Love is something we are to pursue (14:1) and have (13:1-3); but not something we 'are'.

Acts 17:16 Now while Paul waited for them at Athens, his spirit was stirred [same word as "easily provoked"]in him, when he saw the city wholly given to idolatry.

Maybe "Be ye angry and sin not" could be paraphrased as "Be ye angry and don't discard love" when you're dealing with someone who provokes you. You can be vexed at someone and love them at the same time.
 

Mii

Active member
Mar 23, 2019
141
70
28
#5
To be Provoked/stirred up...is different than being irritated by someone/something.

The first part of the post seems like something that is genuinely troubling to your spirit and the second more like a pet peeve ;)


Sometimes when I am being ruled by a pet-peeve. Or am really tightly wound and some minor thing is setting me off that I have turned into a major thing I spend some time thinking/praying because it usually ends up masking something deeper and the surface level thing is just a symptom.
 

MattforJesus

Senior Member
Apr 15, 2017
1,890
272
83
#6
In corinthians one of the descriptions of love or charity is that its not easily provoked. See 1 corinthians 13:5

What does this mean? If I'm feeling provoked does this mean Im not being loving?

Are we meant to react calmly all the time when things or people provoke us? How?

Cos I sometimes find this hard, and certain things provoke me, for example. When Im being misunderstood or falsely accused. I tend to take things personally rather than step back and think, well that person just didnt understand, or they just ignorant. Thats completely forgiveable. Maybe I didnt explain it very well. But sometimes it seems they deliberately didnt understand, and are accusing me of misleading them.

What things provoke you? ive noticed theres really tidy people and they just get so upset that other people are messy. But maybe the messy people just hadnt learned to be tidy, or they just dont mean to deliberately mess things up. Sometimes it seems the tidy people have problems that the world just isnt perfect, and it makes them so angry.. Maybe they ought to teach the messy people how to be tidy and be part of the solution rather than be angry all the time. Wouldnt that be a loving thing to do?
Ecc 7:9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.

Mat 5:22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.

Eph 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.

Tit 1:7 For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not selfwilled, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre.

God would rather us not be angry, and it says do not be hasty to be angry, but sometimes we do get angry, which is alright if we do get angry for it is an emotion, and we cannot help it coming up, but do not push the emotion of anger intentionally, and do not sin if you do get angry, and do not be angry without a cause for then you are pushing the emotion of anger, which we cannot dwell on the emotion of anger for do not let the sun go down upon your wrath.

Because if you dwell on anger that is hate, and you are not being forgiving, but if it pops up you cannot help the emotion for it will come up, and if someone offends us we might get angry, but we do not dwell on it.

It is the same thing as being tempted, which we will be tempted for it will pop up, for we cannot help it, but we do not dwell on it, and we are not sinning if it comes up as long as we do not dwell on it entertaining the temptation, for even Jesus was tempted in all points as we are, yet without sin, so temptation will come up.

So it is the same thing with anger, for it will pop up, for we cannot help it, but we do not dwell on it, and we are not sinning if it comes up as long as we do not entertain the anger.

If someone stole your car, and you stay angry on purpose against the person, how did you forgive them for stealing your car, and our sin makes God angry before we come to Christ, but God is not angry with us, but forgave us.

Being angry on purpose is not forgiving the person that you are angry at.

Now if you are angry towards your car because the stupid thing will not start is another thing, but we would still want to get rid of the anger for a more better emotion of happiness, for it is mentally healthier.

But of course happiness is an emotion controlled by us, so we can lose it temporarily, but joy is controlled by God so we cannot lose that joy, which is why Jesus said He gives us joy that no man can take away, for no matter how wrongly they act towards us, or their wrongful actions, we can still love them because of the joy that we have controlled by God, which is why the joy of the LORD is our strength for it keep us loving people, and living for God, because joy is not controlled by us so we cannot lose it temporarily.
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
3,547
580
113
Philippines Age 39
#7
Self control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. Being a work in progress, sometimes it takes time to be able to learn how to react to things that are vexations to the spirit. Sometimes it is wiser to avoid them or reinforce your boundaries. Or if unavoidable, learn to accept or not be bothered anymore by small things. For me, there are some toxic people that I have cut off from my life and I have more peace of mind.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
2,278
870
113
#8
I heard of a phrase dont sweat the small stuff cos it is small stuff.

Like we ought to let petty things go.

But then, how do we do get on with things if its actually other people are constantly vexing us because THEY are always vexed. Like people who act petty over minor things and pick fights over nothing.

Sometimes its really hard to cut of toxic people if they are like...your family! I mean what do you do, run away. Divorce?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
2,278
870
113
#9
I think with personality traits, say ok messy person. You say its hard to change, but its not rocket science...well if its not rocket science, then if so, wouldnt it be quite easy to change? That doesnt quite make sense. Say you dont put things where they belong because you actually have no idea where its meant to belong. Its not labeled..this goes here. There is no indication of where its meant to go. You havent learned the system. So isnt that quite forgiveable and able to be taught?

For example, if anyone knows gardening. Certain plants like to grow in certain places. Of you plant a shade loving plant in a sunny place, it will die. But nobodys told you where it should go so you just plant it anywhere. Is that cos you deliberatly want to kill the plant? No its just cos you didnt know where it belonged.

So when Jesus said forgive them father for they know not what they do..,he really meant they were ignorant and thus could be forgiven. If they had known what they were doing in crucifying Him that would be completely different and possibly unforgiveable. Jesus didnt write people off and say oh its just their personality.
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
3,547
580
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Philippines Age 39
#10
It might be hard to teach adult people some boundaries but in my case it worked even on my family. I don't easily get angry since my personality is mostly phlegmatic but if you crossed the line and if all my patience is gone then, I will get lost or you must get lost maybe for a few days or until you change your attitude. I will give you an example. I was driving and my sister was ranting nonstop. I tell her to be quiet and when she refused to do so, I tell her to get out of the car. Problem solved.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
2,278
870
113
#11
It might be hard to teach adult people some boundaries but in my case it worked even on my family. I don't easily get angry since my personality is mostly phlegmatic but if you crossed the line and if all my patience is gone then, I will get lost or you must get lost maybe for a few days or until you change your attitude. I will give you an example. I was driving and my sister was ranting nonstop. I tell her to be quiet and when she refused to do so, I tell her to get out of the car. Problem solved.
Yes if people cross the line with me I will not hang around. I will quit, or i will leave. Or I wont do things but I wonder if its passive aggressive, for example if mum complains I dont help her, and orders me around I dont jump to my feet and help her. Because I am not a slave and wont stand to be treated like one. She cross the line when she does that. If she asked with the right attitude then yes but she doesnt. But i wonder if she actually has never learned how. Its really hard to teach your elders. Cos they dont listen, or talk over the top of you, or insist they are always right simply cos they are elders.

With workplaces if being bullied, I quit, as its not worth the abuse. If employers start treating me mean, I'm not going to continue working for them.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
2,278
870
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#12
I have learned that some people actually want you to get angry and say things to provoke you so you that you will hit back. Its weird. Its like they can only engage with you if they can get you angry or stir you up.

But that just doesnt really work with me. When im insulted I dont always defend myself. Im like ok. You just insulted me because you like insulting people. I dont insult them back but its like they want you to insult back. Or someone points out you did this wrong (according to them) but when you call them out for something they did wrong, they turn tail. Because they think they are never wrong so how dare you say that about them and show them their hypocrisy.
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
3,547
580
113
Philippines Age 39
#13
Yes if people cross the line with me I will not hang around. I will quit, or i will leave. Or I wont do things but I wonder if its passive aggressive, for example if mum complains I dont help her, and orders me around I dont jump to my feet and help her. Because I am not a slave and wont stand to be treated like one. She cross the line when she does that. If she asked with the right attitude then yes but she doesnt. But i wonder if she actually has never learned how. Its really hard to teach your elders. Cos they dont listen, or talk over the top of you, or insist they are always right simply cos they are elders.

With workplaces if being bullied, I quit, as its not worth the abuse. If employers start treating me mean, I'm not going to continue working for them.
It's not passive aggressive. It's being assertive. You are teaching people to treat you right. Yeah the workplace is a jungle and the boss is usually the evil one. If only I have a better choice, I would have left my job a long time ago, but it is very hard to look for another job. I just work hard so I will become the new boss. Lol! After all, the boss will not be around forever.
 

dcontroversal

Senior Member
Dec 12, 2013
38,648
10,912
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#14
Gospels, dogmas, churches, people that DEVALUE CHRIST, HIS PROMISES, HIS FAITH, HIS SAVING POWER, HIS GRACE by peddling that which detracts from ALL GLORY going to The HEAVENLY FATHER through CHRIST........ESPECIALLY self saving CAINOLOGY..........!!!!!!!!!!!
 

FollowHisSteps

Well-known member
Feb 15, 2019
2,584
746
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#15
16 To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life
2 Cor 2

I have a problem. I believe people are worth relating to and reaching. I desire there is some
emotional contact that can be made with everyone. This to a degree makes one vulnerable,
because how you are regarded matters and you desire to be seen in a certain light.

Something changed when I realised those I cared about, who should relate and understand,
actually sometimes were hard hearted and lost. It took a little time to see how disconnected
they were and the anger that raged in them, was important to know, but not relate to.

Some posts now make me laugh, because they show how lost their hearts are and how desperately
they desire to exalt God who they think will reward them with forgiveness of sins which they
refuse to resolve or repent of. God will honour His word and judge them as He has decreed, where
thought Christianity will fly away like an early morning mist.

We are to have the fruit of the Spirit ruling in our hearts, and know the lost are so lost nothing can
help them save Jesus. Amen.
 

Locoponydirtman

Well-known member
Oct 9, 2018
800
506
93
Texas
#16
Persistent stubbornness, probably because I am prodigiously obstinate myself.
Willful ignorance is another. To reject information and knowledge with out even a cursory attempt to verify. This will set me off.
Yep, that is when I ask if they were born stupid or if they were the victim of some horrible accident. And it's all down hill from there.
I mean come on at least Google it from your smart phone.
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
4,650
1,524
113
#17
In corinthians one of the descriptions of love or charity is that its not easily provoked. See 1 corinthians 13:5

What does this mean? If I'm feeling provoked does this mean Im not being loving?

Are we meant to react calmly all the time when things or people provoke us? How?

Cos I sometimes find this hard, and certain things provoke me, for example. When Im being misunderstood or falsely accused. I tend to take things personally rather than step back and think, well that person just didnt understand, or they just ignorant. Thats completely forgiveable. Maybe I didnt explain it very well. But sometimes it seems they deliberately didnt understand, and are accusing me of misleading them.

What things provoke you? ive noticed theres really tidy people and they just get so upset that other people are messy. But maybe the messy people just hadnt learned to be tidy, or they just dont mean to deliberately mess things up. Sometimes it seems the tidy people have problems that the world just isnt perfect, and it makes them so angry.. Maybe they ought to teach the messy people how to be tidy and be part of the solution rather than be angry all the time. Wouldn't that be a loving thing to do?
Yes we should remain calm and not allow anyone else to provoke us.. We can agree with this stance / teaching from God and thus be in agreement with God that resisting being provoked is a good thing..

BUT.. As we all know we are still faulty human beings given to sometimes losing our cool and letting go of emotional outbursts of anger...

So we can agree with and admire a good teaching.. but when it comes to someone provoking us we fall down and give ourselves over to being provoked..

This does not make us hypocrites.. Because the High standard we admire is one of Gods perfect standards not our own..

Our failures to live up to the standards of God reveal to us our deep and continuing need for the Atonement of our LORD Jesus Christ.. His atonement continually see's to it that we are forgiven our failures through our lives as long as we continue to believe Jesus and trust in the Atonement He secured for us..

We all have our own pet things that provoke us.. Maybe not to the extent of an uncontrolled volcanic outburst of anger.. Maybe just a heightened frustration..

Some things provoke me a little like people waiting in check out line and standing back so far that they are not in a line and you come to where you think the back of the line is and then someone behind you accuses you of line jumping..

Some things really do provoke me and i have to make an effort to keep myself under self control like people replying to my post and quoting me as saying something i never said.. I really don't like people projecting positions upon me that i have never expressed and do not hold..

But yeah Gods word is true and good I should always keep myself under control and keep calm when facing provocations.. I am thankful for the Loving atonement of my LORD Jesus Christ for the Atonement He secured for my salvation that sees me forgiven my failings when it comes to resisting provocations..
 

JaumeJ

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2011
15,432
2,460
113
#18
Were I in the agony our blessed Jesus suffered for us all on the cross, I wonder ofte if I could yet say about those who put me there, all mankind, "Father forgive them for they know not what the do." What a Savior have we. All glory to Jeus, Yeshua, amen.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
2,278
870
113
#19
Well the scripture does say love is not easily provoked...
Not that love is NEVER provoked.

So maybe there are times when even Jesus was provoked.
But it must have taken a lot to make him angry. There are a few instances when it seemed he was quite provoked. Like the money changers in the temple, and his run ins with the Pharisees. And also maybe when the lepers were healed, but only one came back to thank him. Although that would have been more disappointing than provoked. Oh and the time when he cast out a demon and the pHarisees accused him of casting out by beelzebub when it was actually the power of the holy spirit. That really ticked him off.

One time he did tell Peter off. Peter was always putting his foot in his mouth though. Just saying stuff he had really no idea what he was saying. Getting the wrong end of the stick. Even denying Jesus. But Jesus was so patient with him and put up with him a lot.

Its like trying to explain something to a child and they just dont get it. Even when you told them ten times. Jesus several times told Peter he was going to be crucified, that he was going to die, explained all that would happen, that hed be betrayed. And still Peter wasnt really seeing it. Gah!
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
2,278
870
113
#20
What about deuteronomy 9:7-8

What did the israelites do in Horeb that provoked the Lord to anger? Short answer, sin..,but what sin was it?