we may be able to stop our mouths in order to speak in an orderly way, and restrain ourselves for the sake of proper conduct, but we do not determine to be given any gift, or to retain it, and we do not turn the Spirit "on" and "off" like a toy. we have a "pause" button. that's all. not "play" and not "stop"
But if I say, "I will not mention his word or speak anymore in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.
(Jeremiah 20:9)
I remained utterly silent,
not even saying anything good.
But my anguish increased;
my heart grew hot within me.
While I meditated, the fire burned;
then I spoke with my tongue
(Psalm 39:2-3)
this is what happens when you think you can just stop. your heart catches fire. the Word then, is not subject to my determination to be spoken or not as i desire, but i can wait my turn to speak.
if the gift was according to human determination, Jonah would have made it to Tarshish.
"What I have vowed I will make good.
I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the Lord.’ ”
And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.
(Jonah 2:9-10)