My views on election are not that God "selects" as some propose. Rather, that God chose a people for Himself before creation itself. He doesn't select between different people. He chose before any came to be.
Does He work on everyone's heart, or just some?
You make a good point about removing obstacles in children's lives that hinder their belief, whether they be in their understanding or circumstances. But if you believe salvation occurs when God approaches men and not the converse, who can keep God from coming to an individual. So I look for God to be at work and join Him in what He is doing. I look for times when their hearts are open and their minds are engaged. And I have seen markers in all my kids lives where God is working and revealing Himself to them
I had a talk with a couple old guys (older than me) recently, both unbelievers whom I've known for decades now but don't see often. They are both ex-military and one, a Marine is quick to remind me there are no ex-Marines. They both understand authority structures. They both know who and what I am. When a conversation came around to it and I sensed the opening provided, I found my discussion going to the authority of Christ and I made that very simple for them and Christianity very simple for them from the standpoint that this all boils down to believing who He is, the absolute authority in Heaven and on earth, and submitting to Him in that Faith for the salvation and eternality only He offers and provides. They know the death, burial, and resurrection. They have not accepted the foundation, which I gave them.
By one of the stories one of them had to catch me up on, I could tell that God is tapping him on the shoulder pretty profoundly if not slapping him upside the head. The other one I sense nothing. I've had talks in the past with both, but from different approaches as I recall.
One of the reasons I asked you about the authority issue and making it clear, is that I have come to place strong emphasis on things like Jesus' teaching early in His ministry per John4:23-26 where an unfortunate translation as "worship" is consistently taking place of a word that means to bow in obeisance. It's a word about reverent submission, in context it's true submission, and it is the most heavily emphasized teaching by Jesus in a few verses that we have in the NC due to how many times Jesus used that word in just a few verses. He made emphatic and vitally clear who God is seeking on this earth.
In large part, my view at this juncture is that those who have heard and do not and have not believed are very simply those who are not ready to submit to Him for who He actually is.
My friends after decades are still not there. From what I know of their lives and interests I have at least an opinion why this is.
Not wanting this to be experience leading Truth I'll say this anyway, I'm not a pushy evangelist. I try to follow any leading of His Spirit in any situation. I think that lead was given in this recent event. I followed it. We made certain things about Him very clear. and very simple. It was rejected. I don't lay this rejection on God but on men, and as I said, I can see some things that would cause this rejection, and it basically boils down to autonomy for various reasons, at least in one. The other has one of the more intense backgrounds in war that I've ever personally heard. In the end, there's still autonomy and its indications are not that difficult to pick up on.