Were You Bullied As A Child Or Made Fun Of ?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

J-Kay-2

Senior Member
Nov 4, 2013
2,767
23
0
#1
Some of us have had past experiences before Christ became
our Savior. I wonder if you were bullied and or maybe the bully.

How did you handle the situation ? How did it make you feel ?
Does anything in particular still haunt your memory that hurt you ?

I know I have some I never have forgotten.. All in high school days.


 

J-Kay-2

Senior Member
Nov 4, 2013
2,767
23
0
#2
I have had one experience that hurt my feelings so much I never did
forget. I was about a Sophomore in high school. I had to wait after
school for the bus to ride home.
I had a cousin whose mother would send me some of her clothes she
out grew. One particular one was a Red Gaberdine Coat. I did not
like it, but had to wear it anyway.

I was in the lunch room waiting for my school bus to come and in
walked two Senior guys. They went straight for that coat and held
it up and laughed and hung it back up. I wanted to cry I was so hurt.
That image still stays in my mind. And to the day I do not like gaberdine.
I suppose they were after their own jackets, and I assume they thought
it was ugly too.

Okay, I know.... I should have been grateful I had a coat. But, you let
2 school jocks pick your coat up and laugh holding it, I imagine some
would feel ashamed of it as I did.

Have I repented and forgiven them. Yes. It was school. I learned
we can forgive, but not forget. I am certain the Lord had a reason
for that experience. It is a part of life isn't it ? Not all is perfect.


 
Mar 5, 2014
494
3
0
#3
I have had one experience that hurt my feelings so much I never did
forget. I was about a Sophomore in high school. I had to wait after
school for the bus to ride home.
I had a cousin whose mother would send me some of her clothes she
out grew. One particular one was a Red Gaberdine Coat. I did not
like it, but had to wear it anyway.

I was in the lunch room waiting for my school bus to come and in
walked two Senior guys. They went straight for that coat and held
it up and laughed and hung it back up. I wanted to cry I was so hurt.
That image still stays in my mind. And to the day I do not like gaberdine.
I suppose they were after their own jackets, and I assume they thought
it was ugly too.

Okay, I know.... I should have been grateful I had a coat. But, you let
2 school jocks pick your coat up and laugh holding it, I imagine some
would feel ashamed of it as I did.

Have I repented and forgiven them. Yes. It was school. I learned
we can forgive, but not forget. I am certain the Lord had a reason
for that experience. It is a part of life isn't it ? Not all is perfect.


this is touching, but i doubt the The Lord was involved. it was ordinary kid stuff. i mean you no harm, dear, but really, why are you even holding on to it after all these years?

Philippians 3
12 Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.
13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

think of all the things paul did. yet he said forget all that and move forward.
 
Oct 31, 2011
8,200
178
0
#4
this is touching, but i doubt the The Lord was involved. it was ordinary kid stuff. i mean you no harm, dear, but really, why are you even holding on to it after all these years?

Philippians 3
12 Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.
13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

think of all the things paul did. yet he said forget all that and move forward.
It really isn't a matter of "holding onto it all these years" or forgiving or not forgiving, really. These things often form the direction that we take our lives. All adults must look at these things carefully to be sure they are walking in the way God guides them, or as a result of a childish reaction. That is what growing up is all about.
 

myfriendtiny

Senior Member
Jan 19, 2014
736
2
0
#5
I have what you could call bulling but i am adopted..I was adopted at age 4... I still have past flash backs..
 

Karraster

Senior Member
Nov 10, 2013
2,706
93
48
#6
Our Father is involved in every aspect of our lives, down to the tiniest detail. Not even a sparrow falls to the ground without Him knowing, and you are worth more than many sparrows!

I'm sure that incident stung, how thoughtless of those guys. I see adults who ha ha and laugh at people now, for what they consider inferior to them. I imagine they probably were kids like you describe and never outgrew it.

I do think our experiences shape our views and opinions, and help create the people we are. From what I've read of you J-Kay-2, I perceive you to be a kind and sensitive lady, and one quite aware of peoples feelings. The world would be a better place with more of that mindset.:)

As for myself and bullying, I don't recall anything worth mentioning. I went to a small school where everyone knew everyone and their parents and siblings. Kinda sheltered, you could say.
 
Mar 5, 2014
494
3
0
#7
I have what you could call bulling but i am adopted..I was adopted at age 4... I still have past flash backs..
well since you are 13 (if you are), that's normal. consider the source. it will pass.
 
Oct 31, 2011
8,200
178
0
#8
I had many, many circumstances that buffeted me about as a child, none of them toward living a triumphant life in the Lord as His child. Each step I made as a child of God was made by overcoming training to live as a defeated, ineffectual person.

At 14, I could not walk upright, I was told only to be ashamed because I did not measure up to my parents standards. Then I was threatened with a brace to make me walk proud.

Was God involved with helping me overcome this training? Oh Course!!
 

Timeline

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2014
1,826
17
38
#9
Some of us have had past experiences before Christ became
our Savior. I wonder if you were bullied and or maybe the bully.

How did you handle the situation ? How did it make you feel ?
Does anything in particular still haunt your memory that hurt you ?

I know I have some I never have forgotten.. All in high school days.


I have had a few experiences with singing. When I was about 10 I was asked to lead a song in bible class and after we finished the song a girl said, "Don't quite your day job." And when I was about 15 I was singing in Wednesday night service and after the song was over the guy in front of me turned around asked me why I had messed up the song. Now when I sing in church I try not to sing to loudly because of these experiences. I have always known that I don't sing well, but when people say things like that it really hurts.
 

danalee

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
480
6
0
45
#10
I have had one experience that hurt my feelings so much I never did
forget. I was about a Sophomore in high school. I had to wait after
school for the bus to ride home.
I had a cousin whose mother would send me some of her clothes she
out grew. One particular one was a Red Gaberdine Coat. I did not
like it, but had to wear it anyway.

I was in the lunch room waiting for my school bus to come and in
walked two Senior guys. They went straight for that coat and held
it up and laughed and hung it back up. I wanted to cry I was so hurt.
That image still stays in my mind. And to the day I do not like gaberdine.
I suppose they were after their own jackets, and I assume they thought
it was ugly too.

Okay, I know.... I should have been grateful I had a coat. But, you let
2 school jocks pick your coat up and laugh holding it, I imagine some
would feel ashamed of it as I did.

Have I repented and forgiven them. Yes. It was school. I learned
we can forgive, but not forget. I am certain the Lord had a reason
for that experience. It is a part of life isn't it ? Not all is perfect.


I am blessed with a bad memory. :)

It is actually the crux of all currently accepted therapeutic modalities that we hold onto childhood hurts and experiences and struggle with them through out our lives. Things make a very big impression on us when we were growing up. So I hope you know it's okay with me that you wanted to say that. You are heard and you are loved. May we all be healed through our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of our Father in Heaven. Thanks for sharing.
 

Toska

Senior Member
Nov 16, 2013
1,857
21
38
#11
I am so sorry for all that were hurt by others bullying them. That is one thing I really don't like--bullies. I see it on an almost daily basis as a teacher and that is one thing that I am a real stickler about-no bullying EVER!!

I guess I was an odd child. I did not bully people or get bullied. I was the person that made friends with the ones being bullied. I guess I was kind of popular in school so, by making friends with the kids being bullied, people would leave them alone because they were my friend. Some of the most interesting people I have ever met in my life were the ones being bullied.
 

danalee

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
480
6
0
45
#12
I have what you could call bulling but i am adopted..I was adopted at age 4... I still have past flash backs..
Don't let anyone minimize your pain. And I'm sorry, but I need to correct the person that said they will pass. Flash backs from trauma like you are describing often continue on into adulthood. But you can learn skills to manage them! Always know that through therapy (and I recommend a Christian based counseling center if you can find one) you will find help in managing the pain and the flashbacks. These symptoms should be taken seriously, so I encourage you to tell a trusted adult when you have them. No one should be without support for this sort of thing, okay? Hugs - thank you for sharing your experience with us. God bless you.
 

damombomb

Senior Member
Feb 27, 2011
3,795
56
0
#13
My grandkids (sweethearts) tell me stories, i have concluded the girls that chase the boys,like them and same when the boys are mean and chase the girls, they actually seem to like them. But as for others who bully, seems they have deep hidden issues . Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. They were not taught to treat others as they would like to be treated.
 

pickles

Senior Member
Apr 20, 2009
14,440
147
0
#14
I was bullied first by my dadeven before I could walk, fear and intimidation was his cruelty, and I beleive to this day that this is why Jesus was close to me so early in life.
For it was His comforting presance that sustained me, and helped me to keep from becoming hardened.
School was no different, I was that child that was teased relentlessly, and bullied everyday.
Why is still hard to understand, maby I was just broken already, and an easy target.
I hid in a tree in the corner of the play ground, spent my days talking to Jesus, pouring out to Him my saddness.
He remained with me through that time, giving me a heart of humility and mercy, instead of bitterness.
I did struggle though, at age 7, I did consider taking my life, and often begged Jesus to take me home to Him.
Maby I was just different, wierd, who knows.
But it seemed that my childhood was filled with not just my own struggles, but I was witness to even the greater struggles of others.
The day did come when I was so defeated, asking Jesus, why didnt you remove all that happened, how does one keep going when ones heart has been shattered beyond repair.
His answer was simple, I remove the broken heart and give you a new one, one born of my heart in you.
I found peace then.
Looking back now, yes there were many scars.
But when ever I consider such things, I recall something I witnessed not long ago.
We were visiting family in a fruit farming community, and as we drove by one of the farms, I saw a man hitting a tree with a chain.
I ask why this was done?
The answer was? that a tree will produce a better and greater amount of fruit when it is scared, than the tree that is not.
I realised it is not about the reasons why, or the injury, but about Gods work and glory done in us.
For it is in our weaknesses that Gods power is made perfect, glorified!

In Jesus, God bless
pickles
 

Tintin

Senior Member
Jan 3, 2013
20,301
286
0
34
#15
Yes, I was bullied in my schooling years. A little teasing in primary school but high school involved full-on bullying. For me, high school was mainly a hellish experience. Sure, there were some good teachers, enjoyable subjects and I made my closest friends there (and we still catch-up to this day) but much of my high school experience was marked by me being bullied.

I didn't handle bullying well. I'd get really upset and sometimes cry. When I tried to ignore the bullies, they didn't stop. When I told teachers, they either didn't listen or did, but the bullying would often continue. I love my friends but I struggled for years to understand why they didn't stick up for me and help me out. I've forgiven them since then.

Bullying paralysed me - socially, academically, spiritually. I loved God but I didn't cry out for help from him when I was bullied, because he didn't seem to act/listen the first few times. Some of my grades suffered too. I was fairly outgoing and confident in primary school but in high school I was relegated to being fairly quiet and wasn't the least bit confident.

After I left school, I went to TAFE (a tertiary institution) to do a graphic design course. I was bullied there. Must have been something on me that said "please bully me". During this time, and following on from this, I developed severe anxiety problems and mild to moderate depression. It wasn't pretty. I saw Christian help, inside the church and outside the church (Christian though).

A few years later, when I went to a Christian university to train to be a primary teacher, I was met with hugely encouraging lecturers, made some great friends, acquired higher critical-thinking skills and really grew in my faith. In general, I became a much more joyful person.
 
Last edited:

Tintin

Senior Member
Jan 3, 2013
20,301
286
0
34
#16
Some of the reasons I was bullied? I wore glasses (still do), was short (no longer the case), was seen as a goody-two-shoes, was academic to a degree, was a Christian (still am), stood up for others, and never pretended to be anyone (I've never pretended to be someone I'm not).
 
Aug 2, 2009
20,604
772
113
#17
I am so sorry for all that were hurt by others bullying them. That is one thing I really don't like--bullies. I see it on an almost daily basis as a teacher and that is one thing that I am a real stickler about-no bullying EVER!!

I guess I was an odd child. I did not bully people or get bullied. I was the person that made friends with the ones being bullied. I guess I was kind of popular in school so, by making friends with the kids being bullied, people would leave them alone because they were my friend. Some of the most interesting people I have ever met in my life were the ones being bullied.
Wow, what you said about befriending bully victims really touches my heart. God bless you for that. And for not allowing it in your classroom. I wish I had a friend like you when I was growing up.
 

Tintin

Senior Member
Jan 3, 2013
20,301
286
0
34
#18
I'm a teacher too (relief teacher, presently). I know how destructive bullying is, so I don't allow bullying. Not one iota of it!
 

myfriendtiny

Senior Member
Jan 19, 2014
736
2
0
#19
Don't let anyone minimize your pain. And I'm sorry, but I need to correct the person that said they will pass. Flash backs from trauma like you are describing often continue on into adulthood. But you can learn skills to manage them! Always know that through therapy (and I recommend a Christian based counseling center if you can find one) you will find help in managing the pain and the flashbacks. These symptoms should be taken seriously, so I encourage you to tell a trusted adult when you have them. No one should be without support for this sort of thing, okay? Hugs - thank you for sharing your experience with us. God bless you.
I go to therapy every 2 weeks... most ppl say that our abuse wasn't bad...But are therapist who has delt with other abused kids say that ours is the worst..
 

J-Kay-2

Senior Member
Nov 4, 2013
2,767
23
0
#20
Thanks for so many who have responded. I don't have time to answer
each one back so if I forget to mention something you were sharing please
forgive me.

The comment about 'why' am I still dealing with the 'coat issue?' I don't
know. I feel God has used it as an example and the one good thing that I
can say is it helps me see those who have less than I with compassion.

I also was from a small school. We had cliques. I was the type that was
not 'proud' of it. I liked poor kids and those that were ignored, I felt
sorry for. I remember the girls very well today who would follow the
leader of clique and I and another girl, could care less if she would get
angry with us for talking to the one she was mad at.

I took the poor to heart. My mom would say, she never knew who I was
going to bring home to spend the night with us. I loved the poor more
than the clique.

I went home crying many times too, Tintin. Not because I was more
intelligent, simply because like you, I guess I was easy 'pickens.' I
do remember I paid the price for being too short. I tried out for
majorette, and was denied due to size. That hurt. But, today when I
look back, I understand. I am only 5' short. I was cheerleader and
had many friends. I got along well with the guys. I still do, much to
my husbands chagrin. I pay the price for talking to guys sometimes.
But, that is another story. Not nasty talk... just conversations. I just
got along with most everyone. Just as now, not everyone likes me, and
I am learning daily to try to be understanding of the one who doesn't
like me.

I want to say I am sorry for the ones who have been hurt. Be it home
or school or work. It is no fun. And it appears it has caused most of
us to grow closer to the Lord because He loves us.

The question why is it coming up now ? It is same question I asked
myself regarding some bad childhood memories that for some reason
are cropping up now. I thought this is too odd and too late to have
memories of that little girl come up.

Before I leave this I will share one that an enemy of mine will probably
ROFLOL.... I had a bully I had to wait at a bus house for our school bus
to pick us up in the morning. I was terrified of snakes and he knew it.
I still see myself running from him as he carried a dead black snake about
4 ft. long chasing me to wrap around my neck. Thank God his brother
stepped in to stop him.

God bless all. I know you all have had experiences that are still
with us. WE just choose not to really start digging up past hurts. But,
if anyone has more to share... please do. I know I could keep going.

God bless all my precious sisters and brothers in Christ. Amen

 
Last edited: