I wish I could embrace you sister. It is this question which I have been pondering all my christian life.
As a body exploring these issues makes a real difference.
Key to this is confession of sin or just problems, forgiveness for hurt done to us, support and love from each other, and reaching out to God for His guidance and love. We tend to be so insular and individualistic, so much remains hidden all our lives, we do not give God a chance or ourselves to resolve these issues and let God heal us.
The thing that will condemn us is if we refused to come to the light for fear our sins would be exposed. The light is truthfulness. The darkness is self deceit.
But truthfully, we read the verse about how sick and deceitful our hearts are and since we have met God and commune with Him, having received His Spirit, we think the verse does not apply to us but only to everyone else.
But even we who have His Spirit still have enmity against the Spirit in us. We still cover up sin in our heart - angers, resentments, lack of real forgiveness. We insist we haven't sinned instead of letting Him show us we have. We do it all the time. We don't think we need to grow more or be chastised by Him but everyone else does.
The way we are taught by our parents and the world is to have "manners." But a very mannered person isn't what God is looking for. He's looking for brutal honesty with Him about ourselves. Outwardly mannered does not always equal inwardly clean.
The useless conversation handed to us by the tradition of our fathers is that all's fair as long as we are outwardly mannered. And so, we are sneaky in our murders. We get even with a smile on our face and we feel secure that no one has been able to catch us cheating. It's okay to stab someone in the back but never in the face. It's useless and deceitful and we are taught it's okay. We can resent inwardly and still be approved of by society. As long as we bear an offense with outward manners, we can hold a grudge inside.
It's approved for me to have murderous resentment that mom will never rinse off a plate or do dishes as long as I don't vocalize my resentment. But God looks at the inside. So this is not okay with Him. And yet, I still insist I did not murder her because the world says I didn't. I am agreeing with the world and the useless conversation handing to me by the tradition of my father. I am not agreeing with God. I am deceiving my mom AND I myself am deceiving myself. I am refusing the light of truthfulness and embracing the darkness of self deceit.
If our parents told us not to do something and we did it anyway, did the defense of
but everyone elses mom lets them do it ever work for us? No it did not. Because we were disobeying.
Until He can get us to the place of brutal honesty about ourselves when we talk with Him, we will never grow in virtue. We have to admit we have some sickness before we can go to Him to be healed of it. How can wwe ever grow in the virtues of love and forgiveness if we will never admit we are lacking in them or have failed in them? He will not answer our prayers if we cover up sin in our heart and we can never grow to be more like our Lord if we insist we are acting like Him already and have no lack. And if we don't grow in these virtues, we are only fooling ourselves that we are helping God and showing Him to others.
This IS our warfare. And just trying harder will never fix it. We have to admit the truth and flee to Him to help us and to change it. Admitting there is a problem is the first step. Fleeing to Him for safety from these enemies inside us is the second step.
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