Getting to Know Me....

I used to blog on Xanga about ten years ago. I like to journal, but since this is probably visible to the public, I will keep it brief. Being 50 years old and divorced after 30 years is difficult to say the least. Being all of that and having limb-girdle muscular dystrophy makes it a challenge. I am able to walk, still, and have wonderful Christian women who are paid to help with daily errands and chores. I still cook, attend worship, attend a Bible study, and am productive. But even with my independence and the fact that I did manage a household on a very tight budget and very little was needed to be done by my spouse outside of work, I find myself alone. It is funny that people ask if the marriage ended due to my disability, because the house was spotless, the laundry and ironing done, meals made, and errands/bill paying done as faithfully as possible. I was not disabled to the point that I could not have a fulfilling relationship. It was something that I could not control, and anyone who has repeatedly discovered infidelities and betrayals and addictions will tell you that if the person does not want to change and continues to be deceitful, there is nothing you can do. It saddens me when I read comments on discussion threads that assume that this was your failure and that if you had prayed and been faithful to the Lord, followed biblical principles, and had been obedient, you would not find yourself in this situation. No one who judges rashly and harshly has a clue what goes on behind closed doors or in each person's heart. Only God knows that. Wish that the Christian community could understand this, and not isolate, ostracize, or assume. There is a deep grief that accompanies a situation like this, and as someone wisely posted, we have a responsibility to orphans and widows, so why do we ostracize those who in essence are "widowed"?

From what you have described I would say that you did a fantastic job as a loving wife despite your medical issues. I am recently widowed and I understand full well about living with disabilities as my late wife of 11 years spent the last 3 years of her life in and out of nursing homes due to disabling psoriatic arthritis and other issues and I was no longer able to care for her, work full time and do 100% of the things necessary to maintain a functioning household.

I saw her every other weekend and would call every night. I loved her with all of my heart and was completely faithful and loyal to her in all aspects of our marriage. I was sadden deeply about your husband's infidelity as that is the worse thing that you can do to your spouse. It sounds also that he was grossly insensitive to your needs as well.

I believe you to be a spiritual daughter of the Lord and you have a tremendous amount to offer to someone if you were so inclined. I have said a prayer regarding your situation and wish you all of the best and I enjoy reading your posts.

Thank you, Tourist. You and your bride-to-be are very loving and full of grace!

Dear Father In Heaven

Please be with ElizabethJo and give her the strength and peace to carry on in this situation. My heart aches for her and being alone, but then she is not alone as You have promised to be with her to the end of the world. Give her comfort and peace knowing You are with her and please help her with her medical situation. Help her to have mobility and to be pain free.

Continue to keep her spirits lifted and hold her up during her trial. Send angels to guard and protect her and keep the enemy away from her and let her rest in Your arms of love I pray in Jesus Name Amen.