He cheated a years ago with a girl half his age

I found a facebook conversation between my husband and a girl half his age in which the girl mentioned that "She miss his lovemaking" and a whole lot of cybersexual conversations mostly from him to the girl. The messages were at least a year old. I suspected this girl about two years ago, although he kept on denying that anything was going on. He told me he is trying to help her and that she is a friends daughter. My husband is still denying the affair(s) and claims that someone stole his facebook identity and had those conversations. He is not apologetic in his conversations about it. He has stopped being romantic with me because I called the girl and told her not to call/email him again. Our Pastor has spoken with us on two occassions, and nothing seems to be improving. We have four children, the oldest being 11 years old. I am sad, and not happy at all. I need some directions. Thanks.

I am so sorry that this man is being unfaithful to you. As far as I can tell, situations like this can be worked through but it is challenging. If he is not willing to work this out with you and admit he was wrong, then you need to be thinking about personal decisions with what you want to do about it. I'm not married. Nor do I have children. But, I do know the pains of what it is like when someone you trust betrays you in this manner. I pray you get the advice you need in order to heal your relationship and/or yourself. The thing that only makes this worse is that there are children involved.

I would not jump into conclusions as to whether or not he did write to her or his facebook was hacked. However, I think that he should not ignore you because your actions were out of love for him. Questions to ask yourself, have you read some scriptures from the bible and asked God for guidance, how much of a relationship does he have with God? Do you ignore or get into an arguement with him when he wants to initiate conversation or show his love for you? Have you asked him if it is really that hard to forgive the woman you love? and last but not least have you called the person back to apologize for accusing them and explaining to them why you jumped to confronting them? I suggest doing all of this but first collect your happy thoughts and calm down before following through.

It was a year ago, does that mean it is over ? It is possible he really
was hacked, because my sister in law was hacked a month ago. The
part I don't understand is, if you just found it, and it was a year ago,
do you mean it has been going on a year? The Pastor, do you feel
like you are getting better from his counseling? I will pray God will
help you and your husband renew your love for one another. Forgiveness
doesn't come easy, but Jesus will help you. I was thinking of a book
I read years ago called...."Lord Change Me." I was having issues with
a rebellious teen. I did not feel like a Christian because she brought out
the worse in me. That book came into my hands. The whole issue is
"Lord, I can't change the person, but please change me." I have to say
it gives Him the right to guide us. God be with you. ~

Thank for your advice. I think it has been going on for more than a year. The counselling was good and helpful, but he gives me the impression that he doesn't need it because it is not true. There are a lot of clues in the conversation which tells me that it was him.... he gave her his work phone number, the company his brother works for a whole lot more. I don't think he doesn't love me. Right now we talk but we are not romantically involved.

Cheating hurts, no matter the reasons. I know that pain.

Sorry!

This is tough... I mean the only people who know the absolute truth is God, him, and her. Besides investigating and having a sit down with the other person; which could end with them lien anyway, I would suggest on working on yourself with forgiveness first. We cannot change others but we sure can change ourselves and how we feel.

really wish i had not seen those convos my dad was having on his fb too ,now i always make sure to sign out for him.