K
Krazyk, you are an amazing person and I can tell you want so very badly to do the right things.
It pains my heart so much to hear the situation you are in and I know half the trouble is that you feel there is such a long and dark road ahead either way you decide to take that the journey out seems harder than to survive the current circumstances.
I feel for you so much!
Especially because I can tell how amazing a person you are (and that makes me smile ^_^).
I can only offer you two things which may help you, the first one I would like you to understand the nature of his ways. Not because you can work around them or learn to accept them but because it may help you realize better the course of action you should take.
I know to you it doesn't make sense why he does the things he does and especially why he is unreasonable when it comes to communicating with you (let alone commitments) but I am familiar with the man you have described, to him his time is so precious to him that there are few things he ever actually does for others. The only things he does do for others are to benefit him in the end which can some times include being nice to people in general.
He is very stricken with loving himself that any thing which may be negative against or about him he very hastily and aggressively defends himself which means he is both quick to temper and also does not draw any lines when it comes to what is fair when it comes to defending himself, because of that love for himself and his selfishness with his own time getting into conversations with you about things to benefit the relationship where he would have to put any more effort than what he already puts in are likely to set off a nerve in him (from all three of those above mentioned reasons).
I normally wouldn't go this far into detail but a certain part of him holds you with very low respect, he has the things he desires (as you mentioned) and because he is somewhat self loving all he wants is to fulfill those desires and he measures other items and peoples worth by what other people think or say or believe.
There is more to say about him but this is simply the nature of the self loving beast and were you to cut your hand while cooking and if you mentioned it aloud instead of coming to get if it's ok he would most likely ask you if it's ok and go back to his own thing..
I'm almost afraid to ask how he treats the children.
But please understand the reason why I'm mentioning all these things is because trying to change him would be almost impossible, there is a side that is very young and like all young things it is immature.
You have already mentioned divorce and the other thing I wanted to mention to you was that as I myself have come from a divorced family do not worry so much about the children provided they are safe and kept well fed.
Life is so much more innocent to them and what you consider to be difficult for them may just be another day for them.. so don't feel bad about making certain decisions where you might think they could be affected.
The fact that through all these things you still love him enough to try to set things right makes you so beautiful I pray that things work out for you in full.
May god shine a light on your path and may all the things necessary fall into place for you
Be well and be loved.
By the way, it is unchristian to judge but I did not judge the man I simply pointed out the character features I am familiar with. ^_^
<3
Rob
It pains my heart so much to hear the situation you are in and I know half the trouble is that you feel there is such a long and dark road ahead either way you decide to take that the journey out seems harder than to survive the current circumstances.
I feel for you so much!
Especially because I can tell how amazing a person you are (and that makes me smile ^_^).
I can only offer you two things which may help you, the first one I would like you to understand the nature of his ways. Not because you can work around them or learn to accept them but because it may help you realize better the course of action you should take.
I know to you it doesn't make sense why he does the things he does and especially why he is unreasonable when it comes to communicating with you (let alone commitments) but I am familiar with the man you have described, to him his time is so precious to him that there are few things he ever actually does for others. The only things he does do for others are to benefit him in the end which can some times include being nice to people in general.
He is very stricken with loving himself that any thing which may be negative against or about him he very hastily and aggressively defends himself which means he is both quick to temper and also does not draw any lines when it comes to what is fair when it comes to defending himself, because of that love for himself and his selfishness with his own time getting into conversations with you about things to benefit the relationship where he would have to put any more effort than what he already puts in are likely to set off a nerve in him (from all three of those above mentioned reasons).
I normally wouldn't go this far into detail but a certain part of him holds you with very low respect, he has the things he desires (as you mentioned) and because he is somewhat self loving all he wants is to fulfill those desires and he measures other items and peoples worth by what other people think or say or believe.
There is more to say about him but this is simply the nature of the self loving beast and were you to cut your hand while cooking and if you mentioned it aloud instead of coming to get if it's ok he would most likely ask you if it's ok and go back to his own thing..
I'm almost afraid to ask how he treats the children.
But please understand the reason why I'm mentioning all these things is because trying to change him would be almost impossible, there is a side that is very young and like all young things it is immature.
You have already mentioned divorce and the other thing I wanted to mention to you was that as I myself have come from a divorced family do not worry so much about the children provided they are safe and kept well fed.
Life is so much more innocent to them and what you consider to be difficult for them may just be another day for them.. so don't feel bad about making certain decisions where you might think they could be affected.
The fact that through all these things you still love him enough to try to set things right makes you so beautiful I pray that things work out for you in full.
May god shine a light on your path and may all the things necessary fall into place for you
Be well and be loved.
By the way, it is unchristian to judge but I did not judge the man I simply pointed out the character features I am familiar with. ^_^
<3
Rob