Are you are middle child?

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Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,153
4,015
113
#1
Hands up if you are...

Best thing about it and the worst? Do you think birth order is a big influence?

Certainly in the Bible firstborns seem to be favoured, and youngest, but...not a word about middle borns. Huh. Now's the time to speak out.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,153
4,015
113
#2
Wow maybe im the only middle child on this forum..can't be surely...?

All you first borns and youngests...you dont know how lucky you are. Well actually you probably do but just take it for granted and glad you not a middle child.
 

TM19782017

Active member
Dec 15, 2018
250
151
43
#3
I am.

My older brother got into a bunch of trouble during teen years soooo, I avoided basically everything he did.
I got labeled the, “good” one BUT, I made up for lost time and eventually saw myself as no better or worse than my brothers. Just a different path to maturity.

Also, I am 1 of 3 boys and considered myself a mama’s boy.
You?
 

love_comes_softly

Well-known member
Feb 13, 2019
638
704
93
#4
I’m the oldest of my sisters, but if we include my half brothers, I’m right in the middle. I guess it all depends. I tend to fit the stereotypes for the oldest child. 🙂
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
36,285
13,582
113
#5
I am number seven of eleven. My twin brother is the middle child :D
I am the fourth girl and have four younger sisters.
I do not fit the family models.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,153
4,015
113
#6
I am second daughter of four siblings. One elder sister and two younger brothers who are twins so am technically right in the middle.
 

Robertt

Active member
May 22, 2019
230
111
43
Bahrain
#7
yes I am middle . one brother ans sister older. one sister and brother younger
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,153
4,015
113
#8
Good things about being middle...you are not the guinea pig. Also burden of responsibilty doesnt fall on you so much. You may be a misfit, but you can be yourself. You tend to be the peacemaker in the family.

Bad things...handme down clothes if you are the second son or daughter. Constant comparison to older sibling. You will never be first, and always playing catch up. You arent the baby, so you arent adored or coddled, you are just the middle so tend to be neglected.
If your parents are opposites or mismatched, you dont really take after either one, and if you neither mamas boy or daddys girl cos those positions are already taken, you might have to find family outside your own family to hang with. Or the pets.

Any middle children in the Bible? Of mary, martha and Lazarus guess who would be the middle child.
Shem Ham and Japtheth? Which one had the problem!
Jesus brothers and sisters arent actually mentioned much!
But spare a thought for Dinah, the only girl of twelve brothers.
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
11,272
2,430
113
#9
I am first born. Always responsible. Always blamed for things the younger kids did. The babysitter, house cleaner, and generally overly disciplined, from bed times, to spanking, to going out, and talking on the phone.

I'm glad I am first born because it taught me to be in control. No one else will do it! I am sad I am first born, because my younger siblings had it so much easier than me.

I took a birth order workshop one time, it was very revealing. I was more interested in finding about my own kids, and I learned a lot.

The presenter had us divide into groups according to birth order - oldest, middles and youngest. He gave us an assignment to talk about how birth order affected us, and then write it down, and report it to the group.

Oldest - every single person took notes, we were all prepared to answer, and we stayed on topic.

Middles - one person appointed to take notes, although she forgot to read them to report. Some talk about the topic, but a lot was general chatter.

Youngest - no one took notes, they didn't even realize they were supposed to, and they talked about all kinds of things, never touched the topic.

It was a very graphic illustration that birth order really does affect us.

Afterwards, I asked the presenter the question I had about my 3 year old daughter. I had 3 older boys, The oldest was 16 when my daughter was 3. She would go up to my 6'3" son, and just hit him and yell at him. My poor son would just stand there, while she screamed "no Robbie, no Robbie, no!" I know she trusted him, but it was pretty aggressive for a feminine little girl who always wore a dress to differentiate herself from her brothers.

The presenter said she was "first born female." So, she was all about control, and not backing down. She was very responsible, and continues to be. So, not youngest at all. That was my third son, who definitely fits the youngest child bill, despite being a so-called middle. My real middle child is a perfect middle. Great with compromising in a way that he gets his way, and the other person didn't even realize they got had.

This is a good topic. But maybe expanding it to birth order would be a bit better?

PS Aren't oldest children supposed to be more successful in life, and smarter? I think that is because they had a lot of parental attention when they were the only child.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,153
4,015
113
#10
Interesting. Yes Ive noticed firstborns are all about control, or controlling. Can be good or bad, not so nice when you always under someone elses thumb, and especially if the ones in control are dominating and harsh.

An old school, rhyme we always used to sing.

First the worst. Second the best. Third the golden angel
 

Homewardbound

Well-known member
Dec 10, 2018
1,046
568
113
#11
Nope, I'm the youngest of 5. I was kinda like a second litter.
My next older brother is 7 years my senior. when my sister was alive she was 18 years my senior.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,153
4,015
113
#12
Non-middle borns how do you treat the middle borns of your family...? The same as the others or do you not regard them in the same light. Would love to know.
 
Sep 21, 2016
64
29
18
25
#13
I am the oldest but the shortest. So I get mistaken as the youngest by most people
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,153
4,015
113
#14
Sibling rivalry and pecking orders i find interesting. Observing chickens, we had two right. I dont know which one was older, but one would always lead and boss and the other would follow. The one who followed was well behaved and docile, the leader was the one always being naughty. We named them mary and martha.

My mum, a first born, remarked that Mary was dumb and Martha was the clever one.

Me being a middle born often remarked how unjust and mean Martha was to Mary. Shes always pecking at her. Mary just takes it and doesnt peck back.

Anyway one day the gate was left open and the neighbours dog got into the property. He had been eyeing the chickens for months. The dog got Mary, who was fat and couldnt run as fast and Martha ran away.

Mum was devasted over Marys death. Weve still got Martha, but shes got nobody to boss around now.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,153
4,015
113
#15
Take heart middle borns. Some good things about being in the middle.

You may be the meat in the sandwich, but the sandwich would be boring with no filling.

The middle borns, like the middle classes, have neither riches nor poverty. In many ways thats good, its just right.

You dont have to be 'piggy' in the middle. If you dont want to jump up and down all the time, just be the umpire. Let the others slug it out. Remain neutral. People will look to you for the fair call...and the score.

Whats missing from your outfits? A belt of truth that goes round the middle to cinch it all together.

What is in the middle of the street in the new Jerusalem? The same tree that was in the midst of the Garden of Eden. Who is between the Father and the Son? They cant do without the Holy Spirit who dwells right in the exact centre, the heart, which is to say the middle of the temple.

If Jesus is Alpha and Omega...the first and the last...then all of us are middleborns.

Hooray for middleborns!
 
M

Mommybear39

Guest
#16
I am first born. Always responsible. Always blamed for things the younger kids did. The babysitter, house cleaner, and generally overly disciplined, from bed times, to spanking, to going out, and talking on the phone.

I'm glad I am first born because it taught me to be in control. No one else will do it! I am sad I am first born, because my younger siblings had it so much easier than me.

I took a birth order workshop one time, it was very revealing. I was more interested in finding about my own kids, and I learned a lot.

The presenter had us divide into groups according to birth order - oldest, middles and youngest. He gave us an assignment to talk about how birth order affected us, and then write it down, and report it to the group.

Oldest - every single person took notes, we were all prepared to answer, and we stayed on topic.

Middles - one person appointed to take notes, although she forgot to read them to report. Some talk about the topic, but a lot was general chatter.

Youngest - no one took notes, they didn't even realize they were supposed to, and they talked about all kinds of things, never touched the topic.

It was a very graphic illustration that birth order really does affect us.

Afterwards, I asked the presenter the question I had about my 3 year old daughter. I had 3 older boys, The oldest was 16 when my daughter was 3. She would go up to my 6'3" son, and just hit him and yell at him. My poor son would just stand there, while she screamed "no Robbie, no Robbie, no!" I know she trusted him, but it was pretty aggressive for a feminine little girl who always wore a dress to differentiate herself from her brothers.

The presenter said she was "first born female." So, she was all about control, and not backing down. She was very responsible, and continues to be. So, not youngest at all. That was my third son, who definitely fits the youngest child bill, despite being a so-called middle. My real middle child is a perfect middle. Great with compromising in a way that he gets his way, and the other person didn't even realize they got had.

This is a good topic. But maybe expanding it to birth order would be a bit better?

PS Aren't oldest children supposed to be more successful in life, and smarter? I think that is because they had a lot of parental attention when they were the only child.
You will find raising an early teen much more difficult
 
M

Mommybear39

Guest
#17
You will find raising a teen much more difficult