Hahahahahaaa... great stories.. lol
When I was little my siblings and I used to play a lot of role play games - everything from dentists to school to weddings. One day my folks heard me playing a marriage celebrant and still laugh about my mistaking the correct words about "lawful, wedded" partners for the ones I used. The walked in just in time to hear me say "And do you take this man to be your awful, wicked husband? And do you take this woman to be your awful, wicked wife?"
One time when my ex and I were babysitting my brother's three kids, I can't remember where we were going, but we had dinner waiting at home and on the way we happened to drive passed Maccas. The middle kid, who can't have been more than 3 or 4 at the time, saw it and exitedly begged us for some. Not wanting to call it rubbish, disrespecting the lifestyle of his mother whom I knew probably fed it to him rather regularly, I explained to him that McDonald's is just a "Sometimes food". It hadn't been long since he had starting using full sentences so it was super cute when he looked thoughtful for a minute and then told me "Hey Auntie Ellie? Auntie Ellie but it is sometime."
When my older brother was little my mum took him into ... uh.. don't wanna offend any Americans so I'll say the ladies bathroom? The lady's room? Is that how I say it? Because they were somewhere she couldn't leave him alone outside while she went in. They were waiting for a cubicle to be free and my brother started looking under all the doors. My mum told him "Hey! stop that!" He looked at her innocently and said "What. ? I was only looking..." (Used to being told not to touch everything.)
Another time, my dad took him into the men's room, and he (my brother) had never seen a urinal before. Until I was seven my folks were missionaries on an island - they would have been only visiting "civilisation" temporarily - usually to have a baby or something so I guess maybe that was me. My dad was trying to be discreet and dignified but had no chance when my brother proclaimed loudly in front of others in the room, "Wow! This is kind of like the ditch at home, hey dad!?"
When my youngest sister was little, my two sisters and I had a custom of sometimes wearing matching outfits, and giggling about the fact that everyone would know that we were sisters. If we had a fight, sometimes the angry one would say "we're not sisters anymore", meaning, "I've stopped enjoying the novelty of being seen with you." But apparently my youngest sister took this a little more literally. One day she was upset with my mum and angrily said "I'm not your daughter anymore." Taking it as a silly game my mum said "Well, I suppose you'll have to start thinking about where you're going to live then". She forgot all about it and then hours later heard this strange sound in the distance. Upon tracking it's source she found my youngest sister crying hysterically in the corner of the back yard. She gently asked what was wrong to which my sister spluttered "I just don't know where to live!" It's a cute, sad and horrible story. We all kind of laugh and awww that's terrible about it at the same time. My mum still feels terrible about it.
It was kind of a you-had-to-be-there moment but we all thought it was hilarious when my sister's two-year-old, who loves to pick those - what are they called? They're a weed but they're very pretty, those tall stalks with all the little fluffy, white fly-aways on them that you blow on and they all scatter? Anyway he was picked up by my dad who has always had a decent beard but lately has kept it reduced to a rather mild stubble. At first he just stared at him with his little hands on my dad's face... you could jsut see him trying to work it all out and it was the funniest thing when he drew a deep breath and puffed as hard as he could.
These others aren't kids that I knew, but they're stories I've heard or read:
After witnessing a water baptism that morning, a little girl was baptising her barbie dolls in the bathtub, saying, "I now baptise you in the name of the father, and of the son, and in-the-hole-you-go!"
A little girl at school was drawing a picture, and when asked about it explained it was a picture of God. The teacher said that was silly, no one knows what God looks like. Immediately she replied "Well they will in a minute."
I know I've heard a lot more but I can't remember. One more...
Mum... is God in this house?
-Yes dear.
Mum... is God in this room?
-Yes dear.
Mum... is God in this jar?
-Yes dear.
(Clasps hand over jar) Aha! Now I've gotcha!
