I went to see my Imam for some domestic counseling on marital discord. He gave me a bucket of rocks!!. Seems a little backward--but--Very Effective!!
A young Muslim kid can't find his mother in the supermarket.
The store attendant says 'What does your mother look like?
The kid says "How the hell should I know?"
A very successful attorney parked his brand new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
As he was getting out, a truck came along too closely and completely tore off the driver's door.
Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus with his lights flashing.
Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the attorney started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just purchased the day before, was completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how any car body shop tried to make it new again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."
"How can you say such a thing?" shouted the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It was severed when the truck hit you!"
"OH, MY GOD!!!" screamed the lawyer ...................
"I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.' I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.' Eric grinned.... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before? 'No,' I replied. 'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.' So I wrote down:
I used to like Eric...