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A college professor, an avowed atheist and active in the A.C.L.U. was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated that once and for all he was going to prove that there was no God.
Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "GOD, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes!!!!!"
The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by. "I'm waiting God, if you're real, knock me off this platform!!!!"
Again after 4 minutes, the professor taunted God saying, "Here I am, God!!! I'm still waiting!!!"
His count down got down to the last couple of minutes when a Marine, who was just released from the Marines after serving in Afghanistan and Iraq and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor. The Marine hit him full force in the face! This sent the Professor tumbling from his lofty platform. The Professor was out cold.
The students were stunned and shocked. They began to babble in confusion. The Marine nonchalantly took his seat in the front row and sat in silence. The class looked at him and fell silent also.....Waiting.
Eventually, the professor came to and was noticeably shaken. He looked at the Marine in the front row. When the professor regained his senses and could speak he asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"
"God was really busy protecting America's soldiers, who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole. So he sent me."
Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse approaches the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You're the father of twins.” “That's odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”
A nurse then yells the second man, “Congratulations! You're the father of triplets!” “That's weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”
A nurse goes up to the third man saying, “Congratulations! You're the father of quadruplets." “That's strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”
The last man begins groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What's wrong?” the others ask. “I work for 7 Up!”