Confused @ church

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Aug 22, 2016
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I would have walked out the minute they started emotional blackmail for money..
 
Mar 2, 2016
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any form of manipulation is abuse....playing on emotion to get a desired result couched in religion is the most insidious kind of abuse.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
Going back to this, technically speaking that money being used at Cracked Barrel or whatever restaurant could easily be used to buy groceries. We can't live without food and water. Is there an issue if a family throws in a few dollars for a tithe, but then spends say 200 for groceries? You're not going to spend 200 dollars at a restaurant (hopefully). But that 200 dollars for groceries isn't all for stuff someone needs. Let's say lemonade for an example. No one NEEDS lemonade. Or snacks. No one NEEDS pretzels or chips or desserts. But some of these things are part of groceries. In your 44 years, I know you have used money at one point or another for such things out of want, not necessarily need. If you never have, then please correct me. Isn't that money being used on "extra" food considered wrong, when some of that could have gone to tithes? After all, there's a problem with folks going out to Cracker Barrel right after. I think there's inconsistency there.
The
point I was making was not really about tithes,though I believe in that also.Im talking about supporting ministry,as the OP was speaking about.When someone comes to your church to minister as a missionary,singer,preacher,whatever capacity. We should give as generously as we spend on ourselves. So if you can afford 200 dollars on extra things for yourself,why would you not bless a ministry with that money? No,its not wrong to spend on wants,but we should be willing to spend as much on the Lords work as we are willing to spend on ourselves.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
any form of manipulation is abuse....playing on emotion to get a desired result couched in religion is the most insidious kind of abuse.
There
is a difference between trolling for money and asking for a need to be met. Discernment will help you tell the difference. A ministry should not have to beg Christians for support.
 
Mar 2, 2016
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There
is a difference between trolling for money and asking for a need to be met. Discernment will help you tell the difference. A ministry should not have to beg Christians for support.
They do it all the time tho.....they wanna build this or that so they do this or that campaign with a fancy name and get people to commit.....and then they send people their bills due in the mail every month.
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
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The
point I was making was not really about tithes,though I believe in that also.Im talking about supporting ministry,as the OP was speaking about.When someone comes to your church to minister as a missionary,singer,preacher,whatever capacity. We should give as generously as we spend on ourselves. So if you can afford 200 dollars on extra things for yourself,why would you not bless a ministry with that money? No,its not wrong to spend on wants,but we should be willing to spend as much on the Lords work as we are willing to spend on ourselves.
Let's say we give money every single time someone asks for it. Even ministries we're not even part of. Soon enough, we won't have money to support ourselves or families for those who have families. Going by what you said, we should give money to the church every single time someone that works for it asks for some. Soon enough, you'd be out of money because you'd be continuously giving it away. Am I a bad person because I don't give money to the children's or youth or women's ministry? You know, ministries I'm not even part of? I have no problem giving money. I support CR and give the "required tithe" money to the ministry for Haiti because they need it more than our own church does. If it's not going how you or someone else likes it, then it takes away the actual meaning of the word giving.
 
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K

kaylagrl

Guest
Let's say we give money every single time someone asks for it. Even ministries we're not even part of. Soon enough, we won't have money to support ourselves or families for those who have families. Going by what you said, we should give money to the church every single time someone that works for it asks for some. Soon enough, you'd be out of money because you'd be continuously giving it away. Am I a bad person because I don't give money to the children's or youth or women's ministry? You know, ministries I'm not even part of?

Pretty
sure I mentioned something about discernment.... Take a look back. Im talking about special ministries that come to visit,does your church have enough special guests to bankrupt you? I doubt it.
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
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The
point I was making was not really about tithes,though I believe in that also.Im talking about supporting ministry,as the OP was speaking about.When someone comes to your church to minister as a missionary,singer,preacher,whatever capacity. We should give as generously as we spend on ourselves. So if you can afford 200 dollars on extra things for yourself,why would you not bless a ministry with that money? No,its not wrong to spend on wants,but we should be willing to spend as much on the Lords work as we are willing to spend on ourselves.
Also, for some families, 200 dollars worth of groceries is a necessity. Not a want. Some even more. Do you think a family of five can get by with less? Are they bad people for spending more money on themselves to make ends meet?
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
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Pretty
sure I mentioned something about discernment.... Take a look back. Im talking about special ministries that come to visit,does your church have enough special guests to bankrupt you? I doubt it.
You also said we should be willing to spend as much money for the Lord's work as we do on ourselves. So if a church has a lot of guest speakers, by your logic, those church members should give each time there's a speaker. Because they'd have enough money to spend for themselves, and that money would be used to further God's kingdom. If you want to, then go ahead. No one's stopping you. But not everyone has the opportunity to do so. Jut like not everyone has the opportunity to tithe 90 percent of their income like Rick Warren does. If you do that, then great. But don't try to get others to follow your lead. It takes the actual meaning away behind the words "cheerful giver".
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
Also, for some families, 200 dollars worth of groceries is a necessity. Not a want. Some even more. Do you think a family of five can get by with less? Are they bad people for spending more money on themselves to make ends meet?
We
were talking about wants,not needs. Dont change the subject please.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
You also said we should be willing to spend as much money for the Lord's work as we do on ourselves. So if a church has a lot of guest speakers, by your logic, those church members should give each time there's a speaker. Because they'd have enough money to spend for themselves, and that money would be used to further God's kingdom. If you want to, then go ahead. No one's stopping you. But not everyone has the opportunity to do so. Jut like not everyone has the opportunity to tithe 90 percent of their income like Rick Warren does. If you do that, then great. But don't try to get others to follow your lead. It takes the actual meaning away behind the words "cheerful giver".

Listen we're going down a whole lot of rabbit trails here. I said to use wisdom/discernment when you support a ministry. You're adding dozens of hypothetical situations. Lets get down to the bare bones of what I am saying,we should be willing to give generously to ministries and they shouldn't have to beg for help. Yes there are some out there that try to bilk people out of money but thats where discernment comes in. No,not everyone can afford to give,but most can. I said that people put a dollar in the offering,is that fair if you can afford to give more? No rabbit trails,do you think that is fair to a ministry to put a buck in the plate. Is that a giving spirit? There are crooked ministries but there are also crooked churches. Let me fill you in...

My family went to minister to a rather large church in the town where we lived. We had a lot of people that attended the service from other churches that knew us. When the offering came people were generous. A friend of ours was particularity generous. We received a small portion of the offering,we found out when the friend inquired about the offering. The church kept the majority of the money.When the friend went to a board member of the church he was told the money went to their building fund and there was no reason to be upset.

Another large church we sang at did a similar thing.The pastor made a wonderful call for the offering and told the people to give generously to "this wonderful ministry". He said "dont go to McDonalds tonight,give to the Lords work" Same thing happened,a large amount came in and the pastor informed us we were getting less than half of it and the rest was staying in the church coffers. Now that old pastor many years down the road was moved in a service we did and came to me and apologized for what he had done. So it cuts both ways. If you were in ministry you might understand where I am coming from.
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
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Listen we're going down a whole lot of rabbit trails here. I said to use wisdom/discernment when you support a ministry. You're adding dozens of hypothetical situations. Lets get down to the bare bones of what I am saying,we should be willing to give generously to ministries and they shouldn't have to beg for help. Yes there are some out there that try to bilk people out of money but thats where discernment comes in. No,not everyone can afford to give,but most can. I said that people put a dollar in the offering,is that fair if you can afford to give more? No rabbit trails,do you think that is fair to a ministry to put a buck in the plate. Is that a giving spirit? There are crooked ministries but there are also crooked churches. Let me fill you in...

My family went to minister to a rather large church in the town where we lived. We had a lot of people that attended the service from other churches that knew us. When the offering came people were generous. A friend of ours was particularity generous. We received a small portion of the offering,we found out when the friend inquired about the offering. The church kept the majority of the money.When the friend went to a board member of the church he was told the money went to their building fund and there was no reason to be upset.

Another large church we sang at did a similar thing.The pastor made a wonderful call for the offering and told the people to give generously to "this wonderful ministry". He said "dont go to McDonalds tonight,give to the Lords work" Same thing happened,a large amount came in and the pastor informed us we were getting less than half of it and the rest was staying in the church coffers. Now that old pastor many years down the road was moved in a service we did and came to me and apologized for what he had done. So it cuts both ways. If you were in ministry you might understand where I am coming from.
That's great of you for supporting different ministries, especially if you're able to. Like I said, don't try to get others to follow you when not every situation is the same as yours. You want to talk about discernment? I'll stick with CR and the ministry for Haiti. A ministry I'm actively in, and another ministry that clearly needs more support than most churches here in the US. Those "hypothetical" situations aren't so hypothetical when they occur every single. It's also not changing the subject when I'm using your exact words. For whatever reason, it seems to be okay for the person her(or him, when it's a male)self to say the words. But it becomes a rabbit trail when someone else uses those words to make a point.
 
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jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
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Listen we're going down a whole lot of rabbit trails here. I said to use wisdom/discernment when you support a ministry. You're adding dozens of hypothetical situations. Lets get down to the bare bones of what I am saying,we should be willing to give generously to ministries and they shouldn't have to beg for help. Yes there are some out there that try to bilk people out of money but thats where discernment comes in. No,not everyone can afford to give,but most can. I said that people put a dollar in the offering,is that fair if you can afford to give more? No rabbit trails,do you think that is fair to a ministry to put a buck in the plate. Is that a giving spirit? There are crooked ministries but there are also crooked churches. Let me fill you in...

My family went to minister to a rather large church in the town where we lived. We had a lot of people that attended the service from other churches that knew us. When the offering came people were generous. A friend of ours was particularity generous. We received a small portion of the offering,we found out when the friend inquired about the offering. The church kept the majority of the money.When the friend went to a board member of the church he was told the money went to their building fund and there was no reason to be upset.

Another large church we sang at did a similar thing.The pastor made a wonderful call for the offering and told the people to give generously to "this wonderful ministry". He said "dont go to McDonalds tonight,give to the Lords work" Same thing happened,a large amount came in and the pastor informed us we were getting less than half of it and the rest was staying in the church coffers. Now that old pastor many years down the road was moved in a service we did and came to me and apologized for what he had done. So it cuts both ways. If you were in ministry you might understand where I am coming from.
To add to this, you had also said there's nothing wrong with buying for wants. A lot of Christians have guns. It's our right to have them. But it's not a necessity. What if I wanted to buy one? It's a want, and that want money could be going to ministry. Just like if someone was hungry after a service, and that person wanted a quick bite to eat. You say there's nothing wrong for a want, yet it's bad for someone wanting to grab a bite to eat. Is it the same for someone buying a gun? Or new car parts? Or something for a hobby? God did create us to enjoy this life. You know what part of that includes? Having hobbies. I used to bowl before going to undergrad. I'm wanting to take it up again after I graduate grad school. Would that be so wrong of me to get new bowling equipment? That could be church money, after all. Should I not have hobbies?
 

88

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2016
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Sometimes churches stress money too much... Give as God puts it in your heart with love to help...
 

AngelFire

Junior Member
Feb 15, 2015
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The love of money is the root to all evil. Tithing is an open door for people to be blessed and is a lesson to be learned in the goodness of faith that the Lord will provide as he moves on the hearts of the people. Give unto the Lord and the Lord will give back. But for these ministers and a people who ask and demand money is the work of the devil and self.
 
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workinprogress

Guest
Sure doesn't feel like they were worshipping God, which should be the purpose of the service. Write to your pastor and tell him how you feel (anonymously if you prefer).