Damaged?say it enough and it manifests

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Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
...but I wasn't confident at all not one bit ..they succeeded they hurt me they broke me.
I am truly sorry to hear that you were treated so poorly by those who should have loved you and encouraged you, but look at it this way. God allowed you to be attacked because He knew that deep down you are a strong person and would not crumble under all these indignities.

I have this drive desire to be a good Christian woman but how when my own family deems me as damaged and unworthy?
So now that you are a mature Christian woman, you can put the past behind you.

1. Resolve that in Christ "old things have passed away, and all things have become new".

2. Forgive all those who hurt you and mocked you, just as Christ did. Bitterness will hurt you more than it will hurt them.

3. Get to know your position IN CHRIST, not what you were in the past or what others said you were. So how does God see you?

a) Perfect is Christ

b) His child through the New Birth

c) His heir, and joint heir with Christ

d) A child of God with a mansion and an eternal inheritance reserved in Heaven

e) A member of God's Royal Priesthood for eternity

f) A saint with the Holy Spirit -- indeed God Himself -- dwelling within.

Should all of this not give you full assurance that you are neither damaged nor unworthy? So just put the past with all its hurts in a coffin, nail it shut, and bury it. God has put your past behind His back, so you should do the same.


Junior Member
Aug 17, 2017
I have no idea how it must feel to be rejected by the very people that should love, protect, and comfort me. I come from a semi dysfunctional family but never was I outright rejected or treated anything like how your family has treated you.
I do know this though, that God’s word, as given us in the Bible, is true, faithful and effective when applied in the believer’s life. There are several applications I see here. All apply to how God wants us to respond to people like your siblings and situations like this. The first comes from Luke 6:27-28 NKJV 27 "But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 "bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. Love, do good, bless and pray for them. Easily said, extremely hard to do but without question, effective. God created us and knows how we work!! It is very, very hard to stay mad at or hate someone who has God behind them (one of His children praying to Him about the situation), someone that shows them love even when they know they don’t deserve it, who is doing good things for them and who somehow finds good in them and shares this with others.
Also, a part of this is how we respond to the hateful things they say and do. Some direction from God that would be helpful here comes in: Matthew 5:39 NKJV 39 "But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also”. I am thinking about the verbal assaults you are receiving. Again, extremely hard to do (initially anyway) but super effective. Another verse: Proverbs 15:1 NKJV 1 “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”. Harsh words are like adding gas to a fire while a soft answer is like pouring water on it.
Forgiveness is also another critical element in all of this. For the Christian it is of utmost importance as stated by God in Matthew 6:14-15 NKJV 14 "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 "But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses”. Another difficult thing to do but something that one will be eternally glad that they did.
Finally, living peacefully. This is addressed nicely in Romans 14:19 NKJV 19. “Therefore, let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another.”
Following God’s directions as such, I believe in time, with much patience and prayer and by allowing Him to work through you as in above they may become his children as well. Can you imagine that? I don’t think it could get any better than that. But if that does not come about you can rest in the knowledge that you were faithful to God and will be rewarded bountifully one day for that.
A few other things to consider are that sometimes God allows situations like this in our lives to bring us to Him or closer to Him. Would you have accepted Christ had it not been for this? I don’t know but would wonder considering how you describe the condition of the rest of your family. If all things had been good amongst you would you not possibly have followed the same path as they are on?
Also, it may be possible that God is preparing you to help others that are in similar situations.
A very good book that addresses your situation very closely and I believe would be helpful for you is titled “Accepted in Jesus” and was written by John Coblentz.
Cheli, my family and I will be praying for you as you go through these difficult times and remember above all: God LOVES YOU always….