Dealing With Sexual Harassment in the Work Place (From Customers.)

[iraasuup]

I have experiemced this too.

I used to work for a large national supermarket chain, and fortunately they did have policies in place to protect their staff from this sort of thing.

I actually had a stalker. It started by him asking me one day (late in the afternoon) 'Must be nearly the end of the day eh? Got much longer to go?'
I thought he was simply making polite casual conversation, so I replied with 'No, I finish at 6'.

That was my mistake. He was waiting outside the staff entry/exit door at 6pm. Thankfully, there were bunch of us finishing at the same time, so we left in a group. But this guy kept coming back. I was already married too, but he still kept coming back!

Our store then made it a policy that if a female staff member finished in the evening when it was dark, she had to be accompanied to her car by a male staff member.

I used to walk to and from work, so a male staff member would walk me to meet my husband!

I'm sorry you're going though this. I don't think there's anything wrong or out of line if you say something like 'I don't appreciate those kind of comments please'. Your boss can't get mad about that!

Good luck!

 

[zeroturbulence]

Now I know why this female bartender I used to know on another christian forum hated her job so much and wanted to quit. Be glad you don't tend bar, Kim!

 

[jimsun]

Do you have, in the US, any aspect of employment which is akin to a worker's right, here, to resign & then bring an immediate action of Constructive Dismissal against the employer?
In essence the worker claims that the conditions they were forced to endure made their position untenable & they had no option than to resign.
This is a very effective means of addressing any behaviour which makes work intolerable.
Or come & work for me - I'm told that each time there's a vacancy in my Unit, folk will fight tooth & nail to get it!
Nobody abuses my staff + I make a good cup of tea!!
J.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Do you have, in the US, any aspect of employment which is akin to a worker's right, here, to resign & then bring an immediate action of Constructive Dismissal against the employer?
In essence the worker claims that the conditions they were forced to endure made their position untenable & they had no option than to resign.
This is a very effective means of addressing any behaviour which makes work intolerable.
Or come & work for me - I'm told that each time there's a vacancy in my Unit, folk will fight tooth & nail to get it!
Nobody abuses my staff + I make a good cup of tea!!
J.

Yes we have laws here against harassment, but the problem is that she's not being harassed by employees, she's being harassed by customers. The law only applies to other employees.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Kim i dont work in a customer service type of job, but i have had trouble with this type of thing from guys i worked with. When i told my boss about it she said i should be flattered by it. Psshh... yeaaaaah ...no.
I do this thing with guys in general that i dont want talking to me, i give off that exact impression, if they pass by me i keep my eyes down. If they talk to me i do the im bored look. I dont smile or talk back. Only enough to where the point is made to leave me alone.
Certain guys if you encourage them in the least they'll run with it. This thing ive been doing for a long time now and it really works.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Kim i dont work in a customer service type of job, but i have had trouble with this type of thing from guys i worked with. When i told my boss about it she said i should be flattered by it. Psshh... yeaaaaah ...no.
I do this thing with guys in general that i dont want talking to me, i give off that exact impression, if they pass by me i keep my eyes down. If they talk to me i do the im bored look. I dont smile or talk back. Only enough to where the point is made to leave me alone.
Certain guys if you encourage them in the least they'll run with it. This thing ive been doing for a long time now and it really works.

Ok Nod, I'll stop harassing you then

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Ok Nod, I'll stop harassing you then

But does that mean i have to stop harassing you to

 

[zeroturbulence]

But does that mean i have to stop harassing you to

Nooo. I'd pay you to harass me if I could!

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Nooo. I'd pay you to harass me if I could!

Hahahaha thats the best dang thing ive heard all day!

 

[Jullianna]

If it's a really old guy, I usually just laugh it off, unless it's something really vulgar. If he's not old, I do the cold stare pokerface thing until they walk away. Only because punching them in the face is usually a lil over the top in most professions.

 

[jimsun]

I've found it really interesting just how different the laws on employee rights differ between the U'S & UK.
One of my work roles is the protection & policing of the employment rights, etc. Of those working with me. (NB; Nobody works 'for' me; everyone works 'with' me).
This is something I defend & fight for passionately & viciously.
In essence, here, by the time a grievance gets to tribunal, the employee doesn't have to prove that the customer abused them - the customer has to prove they didn't!

J.

 

[jimsun]

PS to Ladies. - You could always look the guy directly in the eye & say;

"That reminds me; I'm going to a weenie roast, tonight"!!

 

[surrender2God]

I have dealt with that before in the workplace and I had to put my foot down and ask him to stop it. I also talked to the manager and told him that it had become a problem and sometimes if there was someone else willing to wait on him, I would step into the background and let them handle it. I also learned to pay careful attention to the way I said things and tried to ask yes or no questions that were direct and concise relating to the order I was completing and nothing else.

 

[dmdave17]

As Christians, the best thing to do is "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." (Colossians 3:13) I'm sure many people above me have said this already, but if you allow these neanderthals to affect you, you are just lowering yourself to their level.

I admit it isn't the easiest thing in the world to do, but the more you can learn to ignore these kind of people, even laugh at them inwardly, the easier your life will become. When you forgive, your own stress level goes way down; and that's just what God has in mind.

God bless.

 

[searching]

All I can is that there are a lot of messed up men out there. I would personally feel like punching them all OUT (yes, in a Christian way, of course).

An icy stare can do wonders, customers or not. The ol' "I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" trick. Keep asking the guy to repeat what they said until they realize they are utter and complete idiots. There is NO EXCUSE for this type of behavior.

Remember the law of sowing and reaping, it will come back to them, tenfold. Jesus never said we should be doormats or that there weren't repercussions for this type of behavior - there is, in spades. In the meantime, you can pray about it to God and if you are getting gut feelings, intuitions, assume God is speaking to you through them.

 

[MysticRain]

Yeah, this really makes me angry with men in general!! Is sex all men think about no matter how old they get?! I used to think maybe when they got older it would get better...it makes me just despise men!

 

[DinoDillinger]

Share the gospel with them.

 

[GopherBen]

It does work both ways. I had women go as far as touching my arms after I'd carry heavy items for them or get something off a high shelf for them. I even had a woman tell me that I should work for a male phone sex line after hearing me do announcements over the intercom. I'm just not sure why people of either gender think that stuff is okay to do to someone just because he/she is working in the retail/service industry.

 

[woodl]

Hello everyone,

I would like to get some advice regarding how to deal with sexual harassment in the work place--from customers. This means you can't fight back, you can't defend yourself, and you can't do anything but stand there and take it because anything else means the loss of a sale, and especially in this economy, no boss will keep an employee who loses a sale. (And I don't work at a bar, but rather, a small, family-owned grocery store.)

Some of the things I'm talking about are:

1. A co-worker being told by an older male customer that she probably "has a second job (at an adult entertainment establishment)" and that he would "love to visit her there." (She most certainly does not work in such a place--she is a hard-working, single Christian mom.)

2. An older male customer offering money to some of our young female cashiers to "pay him a visit" at his house, explicitly telling them it won't be for housework.

3. A man in his 70's asked me if I had been keeping busy at work, and I said, "Yup, they have to keep me out of trouble somehow!" His reply? "I'd love to take you home and show you what trouble really is."

I was too shocked to even think of anything clever to say. Our boss shrugs it all off as just a part of everyday life... and I know this is mile compared to what some of you out there probably face.

But as Christians... What is the best thing to do?

As a christian you just look right back at them and tell them that Jesus Christ loves them and that he gave his life so that they wouldn't have to die that spirital death. That's some of the best spiritual war fare there is.

 

[Good-Ground]

As Christians, the best thing to do is "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." (Colossians 3:13) I'm sure many people above me have said this already, but if you allow these neanderthals to affect you, you are just lowering yourself to their level.

I admit it isn't the easiest thing in the world to do, but the more you can learn to ignore these kind of people, even laugh at them inwardly, the easier your life will become. When you forgive, your own stress level goes way down; and that's just what God has in mind.

It is very important to properly understand what forgiveness means. A faulty understanding of forgiveness can lead to the “Doormat" syndrome which translates to something like this - The doctrine of forgiveness means I have to accept offense or abuse without protest, negative feelings or anger.

Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

The key words in the letter to the Colossians “one another”. It's clear that forgiveness within the Christian Community is based on the idea that: 1) we are ALL recipients of God’s love, and 2) we are, ALL committed to the same spiritual values. That is to say, we are ALL called to do all we can to practice toward each other what God has practiced toward us. The first function of forgiveness is an internal one in the family of faith, the church. "One another" is a reciprocal pronoun. We perform this gracious act in the interest of another in the household of faith.

Secondly, The practice of forgiveness toward those who stand outside the Community of Faith has an entirely different function. The purpose of forgiveness here is to release us from bitterness and to trust that GOD will take care of righting all wrongs. It does not mean that we are to become doormats for the abusive behavior of people who do not share our values.

A look at Christ's life reveals that he didn't allow himself to be walked on by every ego-seeker who crossed his path. On a number of occasions, Jesus spoke sternly, confronted his adversaries, etc. Jesus had backbone. He was not a man to cross lightly. We are supposed to forgive but we're also supposed to live with conviction and courage. Jesus insists on integrity and justice and the pursuit of those values often causes conflict that requires a deliberate resistance. Christians clearly have a role to play in exposing and resisting evil.