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I understand, truly I do. Inner ache can be so painful. I truly believe ,though, that you will get through this, just keep reaching out to Him and praying. You might need to seek Christian counseling, as they have skills and tools that can address this more hands on. I am encouraged that you are not giving up, and that you are reaching out. I will pray for you and with you, hoping that you find strength, restoration and rest, and of course peace in Him. You play the guitar huh? How so very cool.
I havent seen my dad for 7 years after he left or family for another. Hes an ocean away. I knoe the feeing. Let God bring people your way in churches and organisations.
Without church friends and my bf id go crazy. God has really answered my prayers providing a way
Hold fast to what God has shown you through his word, talk to people in your faith circle, reach out through your church and find and make church friends grow through it and have faith that god is always by your side. Reflect on the good that your family had or has and remember that somewhere god brought you through them for a reason.
"Life is a challenge from beginning to end time. Accepting things that cannot be changed,
I have learned this is essential in helping to move forward with hope. Make no mistake,
we never know the 'why 'of things done, but I have learned a close spiritual 'awareness' of
God's 'presence'...unknown things in life are often for a purpose. Without a spiritual 'awareness'...
the purpose may be overlooked or never thought of on our own...believe it!!
God 'consciousness'...never be without!"
If there was no compelling reason to leave your family, and if it has affected you seriously, just go back and settle down.
If you left for a job or school, you can always find another job (or create one for yourself), and you can also take courses online.
Going to college or university is not everything it is cracked up to be. In fact, today it would be a serious detriment (given the social and spiritual conditions that exists, where even free speech is under attack).
However, if there was serious conflict within the family, then that needs to be resolved. And if you are a Christian and your family wants nothing to do with you because they are unbelievers, then that's another thing altogether. Or if you left in order to do the Lord's work, then that's something else again.
I fail to understand how one becomes depressed by leaving an abusive situation?
When I was a youth I left an abusive situation and didn't feel one bit of depression or regret for leaving.
So I guess before I can offer any insight, things will have to made more clear.
Brother, I can feel your struggle and can appreciate your scenario. I will pray for you, and pray that you find strength from within and from your increased spiritual awareness and faith in our Lord. I pray for your perseverance. God Bless