Do you believe being gay is a choice?

[Melanie37]

Unless your gay I don't really believe you could answer that question. I believe some people from young age feel drawn to that and for others its definitely a choice they make later in life.
From a mother's perceptive the most important thing you can do for your son is love him no matter what and support him. He already has enough judgement from others. Let him be himself. Let him know God loves him no matter what anyone tells him and he can talk to him about anything.

 

[Yosef2]

Yes he it is a choice, but to be tender about it...
Psalm 139:1-18New International Version (NIV)[h=3]Psalm 139[/h][h=4]For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.[/h][SUP]1 [/SUP]You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
[SUP]2 [/SUP]You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
[SUP]3 [/SUP]You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
[SUP]4 [/SUP]Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
[SUP]5 [/SUP]You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
[SUP]6 [/SUP]Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

[SUP]7 [/SUP]Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
[SUP]8 [/SUP]If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
[SUP]9 [/SUP]If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
[SUP]10 [/SUP]even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
[SUP]11 [/SUP]If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
[SUP]12 [/SUP]even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

[SUP]13 [/SUP]For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
[SUP]14 [/SUP]I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
[SUP]15 [/SUP]My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
[SUP]16 [/SUP]Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
[SUP]17 [/SUP]How precious to me are your thoughts,[SUP][a][/SUP] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
[SUP]18 [/SUP]Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

 

[MrOhAllRight]

If you want to tell God He made you Gay, that is your call.

 

[Mitspa]

Unless your gay I don't really believe you could answer that question. I believe some people from young age feel drawn to that and for others its definitely a choice they make later in life.
From a mother's perceptive the most important thing you can do for your son is love him no matter what and support him. He already has enough judgement from others. Let him be himself. Let him know God loves him no matter what anyone tells him and he can talk to him about anything.

we have folks here on the forum that have lived the gay lifestyle and they say its clearly a choice, like all other sins we choose to give ourselves to.

 

[Lis45]

If you want to tell God He made you Gay, that is your call.

what on earth are you talking about?

 

[Lis45]

Here is a picture of our relationship to God. We do not nor are we capable of loving ourselves before we get saved. God loves us and desires for us to be saved but He cannot draw near because of our sin.

You love your son but he does not love himself. All of nature cries out that Sodomy is unnatural. Sodomy like all sin reveals the rebel nature that is in man. Until your son gets so sick of himself and turns to God there is virtually nothing you can do. This from a parents perspective is very difficult to deal with. All the guilt and second guessing of what you did wrong or what you could do better to change the outcome.

This is a situation that you cannot change. You must trust God to change the situation. Intensified religious pressure will only drive your son even farther from God.

At the end of the day the only person you can change is yourself.

For the cause of Christ
Roger

you know what cracks me up? (not really...more like makes me sad). You automatically think that being "gay" automatically makes you crave "sodomy". Gay people can be attracted, whether it be physically, mentally, or even just emotionally, to the same sex. It doesn't mean all gay people are craving "sodomy", geez. That's like assuming every heterosexual is craving sex sex sex and nothing more. Just sayin'.

 

[MrOhAllRight]

what on earth are you talking about?

Somewhere I have heard God made us perfect in His image and if we are born that way then decide we are gay, you are going to meet God again one day and tell Him 'no offense but your image didn't quite cut for in the bedroom'

 

[MrOhAllRight]

you know what cracks me up? (not really...more like makes me sad). You automatically think that being "gay" automatically makes you crave "sodomy". Gay people can be attracted, whether it be physically, mentally, or even just emotionally, to the same sex. It doesn't mean all gay people are craving "sodomy", geez. That's like assuming every heterosexual is craving sex sex sex and nothing more. Just sayin'.

Sex is only one part of the bedroom as looks are one part of attraction.

 

[Lis45]

"Born gay" or "Chose to be gay" are not the only two options, and I don't believe either are correct. To make this point, I need to take a detour that is unrelated to sexuality. People are only born with two fears, fear of falling and of loud noises. For example, you could put a bear in front of a baby and it would not be afraid unless the bear made a loud noise. As people grow up, they start to become afraid of various things, but nobody chooses to have fears.

I believe homosexuality is similar to this. Consider that nobody is born with any sort of sexual desire, that is something that develops much later. In the same way, nobody is born with a sexual attraction to feet, and yet many people end up having them. Sexuality is developed through sexual acts (including sexual thought), and those that indulge in their sexual curiosity are at risk of sexual perversion. Many teenage boys "explore their sexuality" through porn and masturbation (which is sinful) and some of them end up falling into homosexuality as their curiosity leads them their for one reason or another.

One piece of evidence I have for believing this is that the LGBT community is far more sexually promiscuous then the heterosexual community (by percentage). If homosexuality were really just like heterosexuality then there should be no difference in the sex drives of homosexual and heterosexual people. But not only is sexual activity more important to homosexuals, it seems to be the most important thing. This is why gay people are so upset about "being in the closet", because they feel like they are suppressing most of who they are, and suppressing what they want most. As a straight man, I never express my sexuality among my friends, I don't date, and I don't feel as though I'm being suppressed. My sexuality is not a big part of who I am. In theory, I could be gay and it wouldn't change a thing, but this is not what is observed. If sex is not very important to you, then it wouldn't bother you very much that you couldn't express your sexuality. However, because sex is very important to them, which is a result of the sexual activity which lead to their homosexuality, they will feel as though they are drowning if they believe they will never have the thing which they want most.

I know this post isn't very helpful as far as advice goes, but all I can really say on that front is try to get him to church and pray for the best. But I think it's important to see the truth of the matter, even if the truth is harsh.

Though I agree with your very first paragraph, I won't even dignify the rest of it with a reply.

 

[Lis45]

Somewhere I have heard God made us perfect in His image and if we are born that way then decide we are gay, you are going to meet God again one day and tell Him 'no offense but your image didn't quite cut for in the bedroom'

that's just it though. God did originally make us perfect in his image...until sin entered the human race. From then on, we are born into sin...hence our need for the Savior. It is God who restores us to His image once again. Without God, that will never happen...and we will remain in sin....no matter what sin it happens to include.

 

[MYSAVIORJESUSCHRIST]

Corkeyw4,

People praying for you and your son. That's the most we can really do. Really it's good you reached out for support and prayer.

That being said, this might help, I know someone who went to our church who was "gay" and having inappropriate thoughts towards other men. He actually fought this for a while and even dated my one cousin, who is female. Since then he got married, to a woman, and had children. I would imagine he still might struggle with his thought process in regards to seeing men the wrong way but he has come a long way.

He now helps individuals break free from the bondage and the gay lifestyle as a profession. (Who knows how that will last since so called homosexual marriage is legal in the US so he might not be able to help others get out of that lifestyle anymore.)

Anyhow, Homosexuality is a sin just like every other but is also a condition God hands people over to who are already sinning against God. As far as whether a person has a choice, I don't have a scriptural reference to back that up so we can't assume that as a possibility.
---For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error...--- Romans 1:26-27

I can't even begin to imagine how hard it would be for me to see a son or daughter struggle with homosexual feelings. Like I said the best we can do is pray for your son. Keep in mind, I just shared a personal story of someone I know who fights these urges, recognizes them as a sin, has gotten married, to a woman, and most likely still struggles with these thoughts from time to time, just like the rest of us and the lusts of the flesh we ALL have to war against.

If I were you I would help my son realize that these thoughts are sinful and he needs to ask for forgiveness like every other Christian would for example lusting with the eyes. If you support your sons choice and supporting his views and affirming the gay lifestyle the world will only affirm him more as though it is not a sin. That is the worst case possibility. Were gonna throw that possibility out.

I at one time and times after struggled with sin, (and still do) isolated myself, felt like I had no choice, etc. I needed people to meet me where I was at. Love me enough to give me the time to repent and acknowledge my sin as sin and turn from it. If your son knows he is sinning and confesses his sin to God and repents he is just like the rest of us who acknowledge our sins, repent and are forgiven.

It sounds like he might be overwhelmed with these thoughts and maybe a feels misunderstood and maybe alienated by others. If he fights this and overcomes he is just like every other Christian. I believe that with God's help your son can overcome this. I've seen it. Been apart of it. It can be done, with God.

Keep getting support and prayer from other believers, you can never have to much support or too many prayers for you and your son.

I will say it again. I've seen it. Been apart of it. Understood that this can be overcome with the Lords help.
Cast all your cares upon him because he cares for you, and your son.

Please be well.
Grace and peace and mercy to you, your family, and your son as you walk through this journey.

 

[Lis45]

Corkeyw4,

People praying for you and your son. That's the most we can really do. Really it's good you reached out for support and prayer.

That being said, this might help, I know someone who went to our church who was "gay" and having inappropriate thoughts towards other men. He actually fought this for a while and even dated my one cousin, who is female. Since then he got married, to a woman, and had children. I would imagine he still might struggle with his thought process in regards to seeing men the wrong way but he has come a long way.

He now helps individuals break free from the bondage and the gay lifestyle as a profession. (Who knows how that will last since so called homosexual marriage is legal in the US so he might not be able to help others get out of that lifestyle anymore.)

Anyhow, Homosexuality is a sin just like every other but is also a condition God hands people over to who are already sinning against God. As far as whether a person has a choice, I don't have a scriptural reference to back that up so we can't assume that as a possibility.
---For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error...--- Romans 1:26-27

I can't even begin to imagine how hard it would be for me to see a son or daughter struggle with homosexual feelings. Like I said the best we can do is pray for your son. Keep in mind, I just shared a personal story of someone I know who fights these urges, recognizes them as a sin, has gotten married, to a woman, and most likely still struggles with these thoughts from time to time, just like the rest of us and the lusts of the flesh we ALL have to war against.

If I were you I would help my son realize that these thoughts are sinful and he needs to ask for forgiveness like every other Christian would for example lusting with the eyes. If you support your sons choice and supporting his views and affirming the gay lifestyle the world will only affirm him more as though it is not a sin. That is the worst case possibility. Were gonna throw that possibility out.

I at one time and times after struggled with sin, (and still do) isolated myself, felt like I had no choice, etc. I needed people to meet me where I was at. Love me enough to give me the time to repent and acknowledge my sin as sin and turn from it. If your son knows he is sinning and confesses his sin to God and repents he is just like the rest of us who acknowledge our sins, repent and are forgiven.

It sounds like he might be overwhelmed with these thoughts and maybe a feels misunderstood and maybe alienated by others. If he fights this and overcomes he is just like every other Christian. I believe that with God's help your son can overcome this. I've seen it. Been apart of it. It can be done, with God.

Keep getting support and prayer from other believers, you can never have to much support or too many prayers for you and your son.

I will say it again. I've seen it. Been apart of it. Understood that this can be overcome with the Lords help.
Cast all your cares upon him because he cares for you, and your son.

Please be well.
Grace and peace and mercy to you, your family, and your son as you walk through this journey.

Thank you for your kind words, Mysaviorjesus. I do believe that the scripture you quoted is referring to a specific group of people in Corinth who were in sin and ultimately given over to their lustful homosexual passions. They were doing so as part of their own rituals in worshiping false gods. I don't believe all homosexuality results in this same way though. There are plenty of Christians who are not living in sin, who have struggled with homosexual desires that appeared out of the blue from early puberty on, and who recognize them as being sinful and have struggled giving them over to God daily. That's just the reality of it...not all homosexuals have the same story..regardless, it is not what God intended for us, and my son needs to recognize that...and recognize that God is real. In his case, he is not yet saved, and once puberty hit, he realized he wasn't attracted to women. He was upset by this, but not necessarily because of God, but moreso because of his fear of rejection by myself, his family, and society as a whole. So please pray that God intervenes in His life in such a way that my son completely surrenders himself to Christ and is saved. In the meantime, I will love my son unconditionally as our Lord does. This does not mean I agree with or support his choices, it just means that i respect the fact that they are his choices to make, and I will love him despite them, even though they may break my heart. I just read a book called "Out of a far country" by Christopher Yuan, who also went through this journey with his mother and father, and it was so powerful. It gives me such hope too. Please continue to pray. Thank you so much!

 

[Mitspa]

We have this nonsense again

 

[Abing]

Sigh. Not to make a choice, is a choice (passive). Whether you're fighting the urge of homosexuality or going with the flow, is a choice. And to believe this or not, is also a choice.

 

[jsr1221]

Why is this thread going on for a full year?

 

[MYSAVIORJESUSCHRIST]

Asking other people will result in a vast number of opinions.

Instead of relying on the opinions of others search the Word of God to find you answer.

If you are truly seeking God's Will He will reveal the Truth to you in His Word.

The answer to your question is there.

Blessings!

 

[sydlit]

Why is this thread going on for a full year?

•Maybe something about the words 'being gay' ?
•Maybe it's a happy alternative from that OTHER happy thread...
...'Why We Still Single'.

I'm not gay.
Come to think of it, I'm not really happy, either.
If I was female, I might actually consider
being one or the other. Or both.
My luck, I'd STILL be single. And unhappy.
Without a choice left.

 

[chanchuinchoy]

God made your son being gay was to demonstrate His power of healing in your son's life. He can be a living testimony for Him. What your son need to do is pray and let God do the rest. He doesn't need to do anything just pray and submit to Him. The more yur son try to be normal, the more depressed he is going o be because he can't change himself only God can change him. take care.