He's my boyfriend of 11 months and I cheated

[blue_ladybug]

From october, until a month ago.. There has been multiple times where my boyfriend has "entertained" another female.. A few more than once. I've caught him every time. But I continue to forgive him. I'm not saying my actions were right because I know they weren't. There are many details that I had left out but I've looked past numerous "mistakes" and "I'm sorrys". I do KNOW I love him. But I do know I've made a bad decision. I just needed more advice, I guess you could say because I have no one else to get it from.

You are knowingly AND willingly allowing him to cheat on you, time after time after time!! If you think he's ever gonna stop his cheatin' ways, then sorry honey but you are severely delusional!! The both of you have made bad choices--the first one being ever gettin' together in the first place, when you're both continually cheating on each other!! This situation is only gonna end badly for you, and for him and his son.

 

[blue_ladybug]

And this ain't his first time leaving. He had left back in January to "trade his car", 3 days later he "broke up" with me and said he wasn't coming back. Found out I was preg. Lost the baby. And went thru it alone. He came back in march, and that's when I had found out he had relations during our two months apart, while carrying his child. Then a month ago was when he was trying to meet up with another girl to have sex while heading home to his sons mom's funeral. And a few weeks before that, another ex that he cheated on me with in october had made it seem like they were at it again. And again, I'm not saying my actions were right. 11 months and I cheated when he needed to trust me the most. I KNOW i would never cheat on him again but idk if this is stable enough for me to move. I know i love him. I know i was wrong. But I know i want to be with him. & this is something I shoulda said from the jump, I'm 20. He's 28. & his son is 8.

"This aint his first time leaving?" Honey, he makes up excuses to "leave" so he can go off and get it on with these other women!! Wake up and open your eyes! He has been, and still is, playing you for the fool. And you're allowing it. I sincerely hope to God that the two of you are smart enough to use protection when you cheat. I would definitely suggest getting yourself tested for an STD!!

It's impossible for you to KNOW that you wont cheat on him again. What made you cheat the first time? Temptation did!! He's cheating on you and you are allowing it, which tells me your self-esteem is pretty low. I am serious about getting tested for STD's though--you dont know what he is getting from these women, nor do you know what the guy you cheated with may have given to you. You deserve alot better, and it blows my mind that you would allow him to be with you after he has been horn-dogging these other women!! I agree with the other posters--this is only going to end in heartbreak for all involved.

 

[Ugly]

From october, until a month ago.. There has been multiple times where my boyfriend has "entertained" another female.. A few more than once. I've caught him every time. But I continue to forgive him. I'm not saying my actions were right because I know they weren't. There are many details that I had left out but I've looked past numerous "mistakes" and "I'm sorrys". I do KNOW I love him. But I do know I've made a bad decision. I just needed more advice, I guess you could say because I have no one else to get it from.

Ok. So he's a dog and you're a doormat. Now we know more. You shouldn't have cheated. You should have left this guy a long time ago. I'd like to say the majority of the problem is his, and he does have a good share of responsibility, but really, you bear a lot of it too. You choose to stay with a guy who mistreats you over and over. Once is his fault, and your forgiveness, twice is very gracious and reveals his character, beyond that you are to blame for what keeps happening to you. Of course he keeps cheating. Because you let him by staying with him over and over. You're a doormat and he will never change as long as you're dating.

 

[tourist]

cpmiller, before you do anything else, you need to confess to him and ask for forgiveness. What would you do if you moved with him, then told him and he kicks you out? The assumption on your part that the relationship was over was wrong to do. You should have asked him if it was over, instead of just assuming it was. To answer your 2 questions:

1.) Should you go? Absolutely not, not until you tell him you cheated on him, ask for his (and God's) forgiveness, then ask him if he still wants you to move with him. If he says yes, then good. If he says no, then it would be better to end the relationship.

2.) Do you have to tell him to ask for forgiveness? That's pretty obvious, lol. Yes, indeed you do. Otherwise, if you just say "please forgive me" but you dont say why you want forgiveness, then he will ask "forgiveness for what"? Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy!! Good luck.

While I have a harsh stance against infidelity I believe that you still have a chance seeing how you and him were not joined together in marriage. I have zero tolerance for unfaithfulness in marriage but you two were not yet married.

I agree totally with your approach to this delicate situation blue-ladybug.

Now, if he were to forgive you is he a man who would repeatedly bring this up again? You must be willing to be very patient to allow him to build up his trust with you again. You should also ask yourself why you cheated on him in the first place. There does not seem be any trust in this relationship. Before asking for forgiveness from him ask for forgiveness and understanding from the Lord first. The first few months are going to be critical. I would let this play out for a few months and then ask yourself if this is the man you will want to spend the rest of your life with. I do not think that it would be appropriate to sleep with each other until you are married first. You seem very confused and unsure of yourself. A self-evaluation is in order. Stay in prayer and do the right thing.