Hi ime new family here

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
May 29, 2016
4,856
108
0
#21
Oh, and if she's part of a team or activity stop that - don't take it away from her but talk to coach and take participation in games away (she still goes to support)
This doesn't work for some
My brother quit football so parents couldn't use it as a punishment so just be careful
 

girljoe

Junior Member
Feb 28, 2017
5
0
0
#22
I'm so sorry you are having discipline issues but as a mom myself I think that is completely normal. It is not always easy to work thru and each child is different so your son and daughter may each show different behaviors. I think it is wonderful you are looking for a Christian approach to discipline. I love the resources from Focus on the Family. They have been so helpful to me thru the years. Check out this webpage, it has links to lots of good Christian parenting articles. I am also a big fan of James Dobson's book the Strong Willed Child. My daughter is the classic strong willed child and that book has been so helpful to me.
Parenting can be difficult. Keep looking to God to guide you.
Blessings to you and your family!
 

Newone40

Junior Member
Mar 11, 2017
13
0
0
#23
thanks for your comments....I like the one from natania about writing out sentences ive not heard of that before but sounds effective I must say.......if we use time outs for our son at 9 as hes strong willed whould you say its best he sits or stands whilst in time out and whould you say a certain length of time .....as hes a little behind in mind set for his age some have also sudjested spanking for him with explaination of course.....whould you say we should explain this option to him if we decide to use it or what do you feel we should say to him reguarding that option please?
 
Jan 5, 2017
17
0
0
#24
[FONT=&quot]Yes, even though I am for spanking, I’m not sure it would help at this age. Spanking was for when she was younger. Since that didn’t happen, you need to hope you can get a handle on discipline right away. I agree with a couple of the posters – find the thing she wants the most and take that away. Depleted gave you some great advice.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]As for time outs, when children are younger, then a minute for each year is the rule of thumb, but since she is older you may want to lengthen that. And BTW, one of the things she wants most is not to be embarrassed in front of others so doing the time out while visitors are there will have a huge impact. And I’m betting the behavior will stop quickly. Added chores are another way. My daughter-in-law makes her sons go do a chore on the spot if they disobey and cross the line. Most of all, do the work, be the bad guy, don’t punish when angry, be consistent. No one said it would be easy![/FONT]
 

Newone40

Junior Member
Mar 11, 2017
13
0
0
#25
hi I was just wondering if as because our sons mind set age is about 3 yrs behind if we could still consider spanking when warrented .....if it was what do you feel we should say to him about that option please so he understands the situation and that its to help him we did use spanking when younger but wondered if spanking now might be used in a different way so he knows its serious if it came to that option.....leslie
 
May 29, 2016
4,856
108
0
#26
thanks for your comments....I like the one from natania about writing out sentences ive not heard of that before but sounds effective I must say.......if we use time outs for our son at 9 as hes strong willed whould you say its best he sits or stands whilst in time out and whould you say a certain length of time .....as hes a little behind in mind set for his age some have also sudjested spanking for him with explaination of course.....whould you say we should explain this option to him if we decide to use it or what do you feel we should say to him reguarding that option please?
Let's see.... last time I had to write sentences I had to write.... "I will not tell different parents different things. I will not tell different parents different things..." lol

It obviously worked because I remember it.

Umm... I think you should try letting him sit at first if it seems to do nothing and it doesn't faze him than move to standing.
Spanking is an option yes but keep in mind it simply might not work for him
 
May 29, 2016
4,856
108
0
#27
Yes, even though I am for spanking, I’m not sure it would help at this age. Spanking was for when she was younger. Since that didn’t happen, you need to hope you can get a handle on discipline right away. I agree with a couple of the posters – find the thing she wants the most and take that away. Depleted gave you some great advice.

As for time outs, when children are younger, then a minute for each year is the rule of thumb, but since she is older you may want to lengthen that. And BTW, one of the things she wants most is not to be embarrassed in front of others so doing the time out while visitors are there will have a huge impact. And I’m betting the behavior will stop quickly. Added chores are another way. My daughter-in-law makes her sons go do a chore on the spot if they disobey and cross the line. Most of all, do the work, be the bad guy, don’t punish when angry, be consistent. No one said it would be easy!

Lol!
I'll take 14 minutes in time out! That sounds amazing
 

Newone40

Junior Member
Mar 11, 2017
13
0
0
#28
hi I spoke with his Christian councilor a few days ago she said if standing whilst in the corner to try and make him be still while there and asked us to think about maybe telling him to be still while hes in the corner easier said than done lol. did you say natania that you give discipline on occasions in your family or did you say your parents use that option as your still young I notice you have great ideas and its good of you to help....or did you mean you hae to discipline your siblings on occasios.....leslie
 
May 29, 2016
4,856
108
0
#29
hi I spoke with his Christian councilor a few days ago she said if standing whilst in the corner to try and make him be still while there and asked us to think about maybe telling him to be still while hes in the corner easier said than done lol. did you say natania that you give discipline on occasions in your family or did you say your parents use that option as your still young I notice you have great ideas and its good of you to help....or did you mean you hae to discipline your siblings on occasios.....leslie

I'm the parent in my household. The situation with my guardians is complicated.
 

Newone40

Junior Member
Mar 11, 2017
13
0
0
#30
o I see sorry I didn't mean to be nosey lol its just that you have great ideas and very mature in your thoughts which is so good
 
May 29, 2016
4,856
108
0
#31
o I see sorry I didn't mean to be nosey lol its just that you have great ideas and very mature in your thoughts which is so good
Oh, you're not being nosy at all! I don't have a problem explaining my situation - most people here know it already
You could PM me if you have questions, I don't want to interrupt your thread trying to explain :)

And thank you so much!
 

Newone40

Junior Member
Mar 11, 2017
13
0
0
#32
thanks for your invatation to pm you natania its just I don't want to break any rules of the site contacting you being under 18 hope you understand but if you want to explain anything in the threat don't worry it wont interrupt anything at all ...and it so good of you to help .......leslie
 
May 29, 2016
4,856
108
0
#33
thanks for your invatation to pm you natania its just I don't want to break any rules of the site contacting you being under 18 hope you understand but if you want to explain anything in the threat don't worry it wont interrupt anything at all ...and it so good of you to help .......leslie
Ah, you wouldn't be breaking any rules :) but if it goes against your limits that is totally fine I understand.

Umm... Okay well let's see I'm not gonna give the full story cuz that would take up about five pages, but basically, when I was very small my parents divorced (My father was deployed) so each had 50/50 custody, I stopped living with my father because of abuse, I stopped living with my mother because she married an alcoholic and druggie who she loved (probably still does) more than me.

So, My step mother (Father married another woman and divorced her) adopted me. So, I live with her and her husband (who I call my step father), but, I have a broken relationship with my step mother, and she just stopped parenting. So, I'm the one who helps the kids out with homework and sports, and I clean, cook, I have helped with rent and paying off a lot of stuff but I am doing less of that recently as we are realizing a child is not a stable source of income since I am getting broke lol.
I have no relationship with my step father, he basically doesn't know anything about me except I exist, he has been out of the house all the time because of his job though.
My mother now also has 50% custody

So pretty much I am the parents of my siblings, I have raised them the past couple years, and while that sounds... bad for a child it has given me some pretty useful life skills haha
 

Newone40

Junior Member
Mar 11, 2017
13
0
0
#34
Wow you've had a very busy time so far and your life has only just begun...what a wonderful job your doing and helping your siblings I can imagine is not easy but very rewarding.......hope you don't have the same discipline issues we have lol....you seen to have methods that we should have maybee used from the start I know that's our fault though......my husband has to work away most of the time so it's not easy though I know we can't always use that as an excuse....we'll try some of the sudjestions that we're kindly advised on here especially your ones reguarding writing lines and time outs etc......and maybee try to talk with our pastor reguarding spanking and it's roll at this time ......thanks ....leslie
 
May 29, 2016
4,856
108
0
#35
Wow you've had a very busy time so far and your life has only just begun...what a wonderful job your doing and helping your siblings I can imagine is not easy but very rewarding.......hope you don't have the same discipline issues we have lol....you seen to have methods that we should have maybee used from the start I know that's our fault though......my husband has to work away most of the time so it's not easy though I know we can't always use that as an excuse....we'll try some of the sudjestions that we're kindly advised on here especially your ones reguarding writing lines and time outs etc......and maybee try to talk with our pastor reguarding spanking and it's roll at this time ......thanks ....leslie
We are having issues with anger actually.
My little brother can't seem to control his anger. Lately he has been hurting people at school, hurting teachers, running away ect. and we are trying to figure out what we need to do to fix it.

School has been tough for two of my brothers as well so we are trying to find a way for their grades to improve.

It's no problem :) Parenting is hard lol no one said it would be easy, but here's the thing,
You're on here asking for advice, you obviously care, your children are very lucky to have You.
I wish you luck.
 

Newone40

Junior Member
Mar 11, 2017
13
0
0
#36
Thanks so much Natalia sorry to here your having problems and at such a young age must be hard for you......did you find that certain things reguarding there own discipline works better than others although as you mentioned your trying different ways and thinking of all options which helps.......leslie