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who says you have to forgive him? its human nature to want multiple mates, which is an obvious fact seeing as he cheated in the first place, i really dont see how god caused this because it has no benefit to either party, unless of course you think god isnt always kind, then of course maybe it is. if i were you i would see a therapist or a psychologist, they are good at helping you sort out your many feelings which i am sure are racing through your head this very moment. if you truly love him and think he will change then i suggest working with im to correct his behaviour which can be done, its been proven you can work against your natural drives and instincts created by your genes. hence when we use birth control even though we were made to have sex to procreate but with birth control we knowingly have sex without hoping to procreate showing that we can go against our genes. anyway before i start to ramble, make sure you don't do anyting rash in the heat of the moment, because you may regret it later, i would just think things through and probably have a psychologist or therapist sort out your feelings. sometimes just someone who listens is the best source of solutions.
A
my friend says if you can't see your life without him and even if he hert you but you still want him find it in your heart to forgive him don't hold on to it yes it won't be easy to forget but make an effort to put that aside and yea your trust in him won't be the same and tell him that you don't know if you can trust him the same way and if your willing to keep him in your life and he truly means he's sorry tell him you'll keep him but he has to earn your trust again....we'll pray for you and believe it or not but she's only 17 and verrry wise lol 
F
Some other advice I could have for you is when my hubby and I were having problems, I just took one day at atime. I was very hurt and all I could promise was that I would try... and that there were no promises that a week from now I wouldn't change my mind and see that I just couldn't do it.
Don't put a lot of pressure on yourself to make any major decisions when you are not in the right state of mind to make those decisions. I'm all for working it out if YOU can. If you can't, that is okay too. He put you in this situation. I was so mad at my hubby for putting me in that situation and forcing me to make some major decisions concerning our family. It's a horrible place to be. But I realized I could give those decisions over to God and let him take care of it. And he did. I knew whether we worked things out or not, God would take care of it and take care of me.
Don't put a lot of pressure on yourself to make any major decisions when you are not in the right state of mind to make those decisions. I'm all for working it out if YOU can. If you can't, that is okay too. He put you in this situation. I was so mad at my hubby for putting me in that situation and forcing me to make some major decisions concerning our family. It's a horrible place to be. But I realized I could give those decisions over to God and let him take care of it. And he did. I knew whether we worked things out or not, God would take care of it and take care of me.
J
My friend, please don't say that, i cant begin to imagine what you are going through and all i ask is you keep your faith, normally with problems i would say go with your instinct but this is more serious than that, what he is done is totally wrong but it isnt totally unforgivable, if he truly means he is sorry and his crying was genuine and not to get sympathy then he probably has been through hell and back with guilt,i have been there with guilt nothing to do with love but i know how awful it feels, all i say is to pray...pray like you have never prayed before my love
I wish u the best of luck and hope you both sort it out..God be with you both
Love
Jonno
I wish u the best of luck and hope you both sort it out..God be with you both
Love
Jonno
J
I cheated on my husband... so a little advise from the other side of things...
my husband forgave me and we stuck with it, i was pregnant with my second at the time.
this can happen to ANYONE. i was in denial about what i was doing because of the way i was brought up, i couldnt believe i had let it go that far.
the reason it happened to you doesnt matter because you cant change what happened. your husband probably wishes he could go back and change but he cant. so please dont dwell on it! if you forgive him then let it go! im NOT saying this is easy to do.
the only thing that you can do is trust god in this situation and support your husband. he has to change somethings though and only he can do that. but it will be much more difficult for him to change if the both of you are stuck on this.
your husband has to change and just do whats right and you have to decide to stick with him under any circumstances. hes human so if it happens again what are you going to do? what decision did you make?
God forgives and forgets. we can forgive but unfortunately we can not forget. but we can let it go, give it to GOD.
my husband forgave me and we stuck with it, i was pregnant with my second at the time.
this can happen to ANYONE. i was in denial about what i was doing because of the way i was brought up, i couldnt believe i had let it go that far.
the reason it happened to you doesnt matter because you cant change what happened. your husband probably wishes he could go back and change but he cant. so please dont dwell on it! if you forgive him then let it go! im NOT saying this is easy to do.
the only thing that you can do is trust god in this situation and support your husband. he has to change somethings though and only he can do that. but it will be much more difficult for him to change if the both of you are stuck on this.
your husband has to change and just do whats right and you have to decide to stick with him under any circumstances. hes human so if it happens again what are you going to do? what decision did you make?
God forgives and forgets. we can forgive but unfortunately we can not forget. but we can let it go, give it to GOD.
K
Such great advice ^_^
I hope mine can be understood by you and I really feel for you on this one.
When you look at him now if what you see are his sins beware, for the man who is repentant may see the shame of his sins reflected across your own face. No uglier could you be to the other through the eyes of the unforgiven and the unforgiving.
Likewise should he not be truly sorry for his actions and repeat them no worst thing to ask forgiveness for than not actually being sorry in the first place.
That also goes for your cousin as well but don't lose faith because of a mans weakness because the person you are faithful to is so much stronger than a man when it comes to temptations, you'd be selling someone very short with the comparison ^_^
<3 god bless and be strong.
I hope mine can be understood by you and I really feel for you on this one.
When you look at him now if what you see are his sins beware, for the man who is repentant may see the shame of his sins reflected across your own face. No uglier could you be to the other through the eyes of the unforgiven and the unforgiving.
Likewise should he not be truly sorry for his actions and repeat them no worst thing to ask forgiveness for than not actually being sorry in the first place.
That also goes for your cousin as well but don't lose faith because of a mans weakness because the person you are faithful to is so much stronger than a man when it comes to temptations, you'd be selling someone very short with the comparison ^_^
<3 god bless and be strong.
C
good open honest post Jasmine, God bless you and your husband as im sure He has abundantly thru your husbands willingness to forgive, Jesus knows that some of us are so wounded that its the only reason that divorce is permitted, yet His greatest desire is that we forgive one another as He has forgiven us cause how unfaithful have we all been at times in our marriage to Him and He is still true and faithful to us.
J
I cheated on my wife online. Somehow she found a way to forgive me.
We are all responsible for our own actions, but two people in relationship can influence each other's decisions.
There is an incredible book that has helped my wife and I understand how to manage our relationship God's way.
Emerson Eggrichs "Love and Respect". The scriptural basis for the book is in Ephesians Chapter 5.
One of the insights Dr. Eggrichs talks about in his book is the amazing power your respect can have in a Husband's heart when it is unconditional. Much like the impact of unconditional Love on the heart of a woman.
Read the book to understand the guardrails Paul put up to protect wives from abuse and infedelity...they are there.
Good luck and God Bless
We are all responsible for our own actions, but two people in relationship can influence each other's decisions.
There is an incredible book that has helped my wife and I understand how to manage our relationship God's way.
Emerson Eggrichs "Love and Respect". The scriptural basis for the book is in Ephesians Chapter 5.
One of the insights Dr. Eggrichs talks about in his book is the amazing power your respect can have in a Husband's heart when it is unconditional. Much like the impact of unconditional Love on the heart of a woman.
Read the book to understand the guardrails Paul put up to protect wives from abuse and infedelity...they are there.
Good luck and God Bless
Hey BabyJune,
So sorry that this is happening to you. It's not because you aren't beautiful, it's because your husband worships God's creation more than the creator. We all are born that way, but God came to save us so that we don't stay that way.
It's quite likely that your husband does grieve his sin. He just doesn't know how to get himself free from it. The problem is that he is living under the Law of Sin and Death. Paul said that the Law creates sinful desire in us when we try to keep it, so God took us out from that wicked Law and we are now "Married to another."
The best thing for him is that he stop trying to obey the Law, and start trusting Jesus to be Righteousness for him. It will take some time, but once he comes out from under the Law, God will build his faith increasingly, to where he can truly repent and believe on Christ.
As for you, you can leave this man if you like, as the Bible does give you permission. I wouldn't recommend doing so, but I would recommend you separate from him and avoid sexual activity lest he catches something and transmits it on to you.
Quest
So sorry that this is happening to you. It's not because you aren't beautiful, it's because your husband worships God's creation more than the creator. We all are born that way, but God came to save us so that we don't stay that way.
It's quite likely that your husband does grieve his sin. He just doesn't know how to get himself free from it. The problem is that he is living under the Law of Sin and Death. Paul said that the Law creates sinful desire in us when we try to keep it, so God took us out from that wicked Law and we are now "Married to another."
The best thing for him is that he stop trying to obey the Law, and start trusting Jesus to be Righteousness for him. It will take some time, but once he comes out from under the Law, God will build his faith increasingly, to where he can truly repent and believe on Christ.
As for you, you can leave this man if you like, as the Bible does give you permission. I wouldn't recommend doing so, but I would recommend you separate from him and avoid sexual activity lest he catches something and transmits it on to you.
Quest
God doesn't give us browny points for serving Him a long time. God doesn't even want your service BabyJune7, He wants your heart.
Flush your service down the toilet and forget about it. Renounce all of your works and obedience, and just trust Christ that you are saved right now.
Read this book here BabyJune7 (free to read online):
http://www.spurgeon.org/all_of_g.htm
It's called "All of Grace" and it's by a famous preacher from the 1800s. It will show you how to come into a Living Faith in God. Then after you find this faith, give it to your husband to read.
Quest
Flush your service down the toilet and forget about it. Renounce all of your works and obedience, and just trust Christ that you are saved right now.
Read this book here BabyJune7 (free to read online):
http://www.spurgeon.org/all_of_g.htm
It's called "All of Grace" and it's by a famous preacher from the 1800s. It will show you how to come into a Living Faith in God. Then after you find this faith, give it to your husband to read.
Quest
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