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U
so in other words. God brought you here for advice. You got that advice but didn't get what you wanted and are now trying to sway everyone into justifying your disobedience against God, your mother and the people who took the time to give you Godly and biblical advice. exactly what I said in my previous post.
so if everyone said it was a bad idea.. and disobedient.. why are you asking advice on how to persist in your disobediance? God has already answered you. Why are you now fighting against what He told you? God brought you here for answers. . why aren't you listening?
so if everyone said it was a bad idea.. and disobedient.. why are you asking advice on how to persist in your disobediance? God has already answered you. Why are you now fighting against what He told you? God brought you here for answers. . why aren't you listening?
M
I certainly don't mean to be insulting with what I'm about to say, so I hope you don't take it that way...
15 year old girls are not great judges of character, in general. I know. I was one. And the people I trusted at that point in my life, I would not trust now. Not a bit. Not with anything. Granted, you may be smarter than I was, but even so, knowing who is worth your trust, knowing who is actually "different" than other people...that tends to require experience.
I also want to say, based solely on my own experience, it probably will NOT help matters for your mom to meet this guy. I used to try that with my mom- and it accomplished a couple of things:
1. She could see first-hand the qualities about the person that were causing her to tell me to stay away from them in the first place, and...
2. She got angry that I was pushing the issue after she had repeatedly expressed her wishes regarding the person.
Best plan here, JeyBoo...really, listen to your mother. Moms KNOW stuff, even if you don't think so right now.
15 year old girls are not great judges of character, in general. I know. I was one. And the people I trusted at that point in my life, I would not trust now. Not a bit. Not with anything. Granted, you may be smarter than I was, but even so, knowing who is worth your trust, knowing who is actually "different" than other people...that tends to require experience.
I also want to say, based solely on my own experience, it probably will NOT help matters for your mom to meet this guy. I used to try that with my mom- and it accomplished a couple of things:
1. She could see first-hand the qualities about the person that were causing her to tell me to stay away from them in the first place, and...
2. She got angry that I was pushing the issue after she had repeatedly expressed her wishes regarding the person.
Best plan here, JeyBoo...really, listen to your mother. Moms KNOW stuff, even if you don't think so right now.
I agree with the general consensus of the forum here. Obey your mother. You can ask your mother if she'd like to meet him. She might agree to it. But introducing a young man to your family can hint at the desire to have a serious relationship, too, especially if you are having him over for dinner rather than just having your parents be at an event where he happens to be.
I think your mom is on to something. Usually, 19-year-old males don't want to hang out with 15-year-olds. But if she's attractive, some young men might be interested in a romantic relationship with a 15 year old. I have a cousin who was dating a 15 year old when he was about that age. They have been married probably 20 years now.
Think about it realistically. If he isn't dating anyone, do you really think he just wants to be your friend and a romantic relationship with you hasn't even crossed his mind? Even if he is seeing someone, I don't think that's realistic. He might not be rubbing his hands together laughing with a deep maniacal laugh about his evil plans for you. He may be a reasonably nice guy. But your mom can still see this isn't a good situation for you to be in.
You are probably far from the age where you could realistically marry, and it does make sense for your parents to keep an eye on males who want to spend a lot of time with you. Is your dad in the picture? If so, what does he say? You should listen to your mom on this. Of course, you need to obey her.
I remember reading a post on another forum from a woman who said when she was a teenager, she had this uncle that she now sees as kind of sleazy, who was going to pay her way to go with him on this fabulous trip. She was very upset with her parents for not allowing her to go and couldn't understand why. He ended up marrying this really, really young woman when he was older. Now that she is grown up she can see why her parents didn't allow it. Either by evidence or intuition, they could see this uncle could have have had some wrong motives. She couldn't see that about him because she didn't have life experience.
It's really funny looking back on my teens and even in my 20's how naive I was at figuring out people's motives. Now I can read people a little bitter than back then. Even when it comes to reading situations, when you get older, you do get wiser. Your mom can see that something seems fishy to her about this situation. Of course you should obey her. But don't think she doesn't know what she's doing. Just realize that she knows some things you don't and she's developed some intuition that you haven't developed yet.
I think your mom is on to something. Usually, 19-year-old males don't want to hang out with 15-year-olds. But if she's attractive, some young men might be interested in a romantic relationship with a 15 year old. I have a cousin who was dating a 15 year old when he was about that age. They have been married probably 20 years now.
Think about it realistically. If he isn't dating anyone, do you really think he just wants to be your friend and a romantic relationship with you hasn't even crossed his mind? Even if he is seeing someone, I don't think that's realistic. He might not be rubbing his hands together laughing with a deep maniacal laugh about his evil plans for you. He may be a reasonably nice guy. But your mom can still see this isn't a good situation for you to be in.
You are probably far from the age where you could realistically marry, and it does make sense for your parents to keep an eye on males who want to spend a lot of time with you. Is your dad in the picture? If so, what does he say? You should listen to your mom on this. Of course, you need to obey her.
I remember reading a post on another forum from a woman who said when she was a teenager, she had this uncle that she now sees as kind of sleazy, who was going to pay her way to go with him on this fabulous trip. She was very upset with her parents for not allowing her to go and couldn't understand why. He ended up marrying this really, really young woman when he was older. Now that she is grown up she can see why her parents didn't allow it. Either by evidence or intuition, they could see this uncle could have have had some wrong motives. She couldn't see that about him because she didn't have life experience.
It's really funny looking back on my teens and even in my 20's how naive I was at figuring out people's motives. Now I can read people a little bitter than back then. Even when it comes to reading situations, when you get older, you do get wiser. Your mom can see that something seems fishy to her about this situation. Of course you should obey her. But don't think she doesn't know what she's doing. Just realize that she knows some things you don't and she's developed some intuition that you haven't developed yet.
Sweetie, you are J-A-I-L B-A-I-T. And a 19 year old boy who is interested in a 15 year old girl for no other reason than sex is highly unlikely.
If you were my child, I might let y'all be friends... if you were chaperoned at all times. If your father sat between you holding a shotgun trained on the young man. If Jesus himself appeared and said the boy was trustworthy. However, knowing 15 year old girls, you aren't just hoping for friendship, you're hoping for a relationship.
You may as well admit it.
Bottom line, listen to your mother. She likely has info that you don't.
If you were my child, I might let y'all be friends... if you were chaperoned at all times. If your father sat between you holding a shotgun trained on the young man. If Jesus himself appeared and said the boy was trustworthy. However, knowing 15 year old girls, you aren't just hoping for friendship, you're hoping for a relationship.
You may as well admit it.
Bottom line, listen to your mother. She likely has info that you don't.
Personally i think age is just a number a 15 year old guy can be just as bad or worse that a 19 year old one i was way worse at 15.... my sister was 16 an was dating this guy who was like 23 ofcourse my parents did not approve at first but after a while they relized they where actually inlove an let them get married an theyve been married for 5 years now have a beatuiful three year old daugther an live a happy life her husband is a great guy who works so hard to take care of his fwmily an loves my sister an there daughter even my parents aadmit he is one of the best guys theyve. ever meet.. an my sister almost missed out on this great life with a loving husband because my parents couldnt look past his age.... i dont think you should right out disobey your mother but i think you do need to try an let her know she shouldnt judge the guy just because of his age an she should get to know him..
There's the ticket. After a while. The guy had to prove himself to her parents.
Did the parents allow them to be alone?
How did the parents get to know him?
Were his parents spoken to?
Was their pastor spoken to?
How much prayer went into it?
How long had they known the 23 year old prior to him wanting to date the daughter?
How long did they date prior to getting married?
There's LOTS of questions and conditions on this type of thing.
One more thing, your sister is the exception, not the rule.
They didnt know him well at all before they dated an they got married when she was like seventeen so they didnt spend much time to get to know him an i dont think they meet his parents till after they where married an he didnt have a pastor..... an if you read the last part i said she should get her mother to get to know him an not just disobey her.