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This is very confusing. Are you saying you feel this way? Asking for advice? Help? Or are you trying to start a discussion? Wording things more clearly would be beneficial. Also it's usually a good idea to start a thread off with YOU sharing something, rather than just a one line statement that says nothing.
It's important to understand that there is no such thing a perfect parent.
There are some things I would advice you of however, firstly a very common mistake parents make with their kids is favoritism. It's easy to fall into that state of favoritism and a lot of times parents don't even realize they are doing it but the kids sure do and it can make them fell like you love one kid more than the other and make feel less valued.
Another thing is structure, kids need structure and regulations or else they become complacent and lazy and think they can do whatever they want in short they become spoiled brats. Rules and a few chores can build up self dependence and self confidence as well as a good work ethic. Of course being to strict can also have a bad effect as well but as for what is to strict or is just good structure is dependent on you as the parent.
Also although sometimes you get lucky and can be friends with your kid remember that that what they need is you to be a parent, a kid only gets one mom as a parent and that is why they don't need you as a friend they have lots of friends but only one mom. Also one thing that is important to always remember is to be there for them, they may not always your advice or encouragement but a parents job is help build them up and give them the confidence to soar to the skies and if they should fall you will always be there to catch them and help them to stand again. there may come a day when things are horrible for them and with you always being there for them even if they find it annoying they can know they can always come to you in their time of need.
The facts are that kids don't come with operating manuals and you as a mother will make mistakes as we all do. But most of the time we learn from them and don't repeat it twice... So the kids aren't messed up any more than we are.... We didn't come with operating manuals either...
My daughter used to say to me well I'm only just a kid and I'd reply well I've only been a mother as long as you have been a kid...
The best thing you can do for your children is to bring them to Jesus every day in prayer. HE is the one who will father and mother them in the best way. Trust that, and then just give what you can.
You will make mistakes, but at the same time, they will learn how to deal with the unfairness of life, and learn to cope. As long as you love them, and show that love in nurturing ways like listening to them, encouraging them and affirming their worth, all else is really secondary.
Pray also for the Lord to give you a heart that can truly love them unconditionally.
We put our confidence in the Lord on how a parent should be, we might be imperfect regarding every angles of our lives but the council should base on our Father. We do fall short as parents or even to ourselves thats why we have to consult the Most Hight in everything. Pray about it.