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King David looked down from his place and on a roof top was a woman bathing, it was Bathseba, David called for her, but she had a husband. They had a love Child and the child died and David had her husband killed. Despite all of that God called him a man after his own heart. I'll provide the scripture in a bit.
B
Oh Dear!!!! your profile does not say how old you are but your picture (if that is you) looks like you might be a minor and if that is so... you are DEFINATELY the victim of a crime of sexual nature. If you are not a minor... YOU ARE STILL THE VICTIM OF A CRIME OF SEXUAL NATURE... but of a different "legal" class.
The scenario you have described is RAPE, but the legal arguments involving the same... can become contorted. I do urge you to visit a rape crisis center... NOW!
The issue with God... is that he already knows EXACTLY what occurred... and whether His view "includes" any responsibility on your part (or not)... HIS LOVE, MERCY and GRACE has already provided a way for you to be reconciled to him thru Jesus.
Please be assured that GOD HAS NOT REJECTED YOU because of this incident...and you have plenty of opportunity to continue getting counsel for THAT. But please DO go take care of yourself thru reporting the incident via legal channels RIGHT NOW!
The scenario you have described is RAPE, but the legal arguments involving the same... can become contorted. I do urge you to visit a rape crisis center... NOW!
The issue with God... is that he already knows EXACTLY what occurred... and whether His view "includes" any responsibility on your part (or not)... HIS LOVE, MERCY and GRACE has already provided a way for you to be reconciled to him thru Jesus.
Please be assured that GOD HAS NOT REJECTED YOU because of this incident...and you have plenty of opportunity to continue getting counsel for THAT. But please DO go take care of yourself thru reporting the incident via legal channels RIGHT NOW!
G
Forgiveness is not always going to change how we think or feel about what we've done.
God has not only forgiven you, but He sent your sin away. He don't love you any the less.
Your feeling of disgust at what you did with your body for that man, how he used you, and your knowing it was wrong, is not negative. We all have a conscience, the ability to feel guilt and disgust at our sins. That's good. It is.
God knows your heart. He knows your pain. He knows you are most sorry. You want to pay something for your sin. But there's no way you can pay for it.
Here's a thought, idea. Somehow get word to your neighbor that you should not have done what you did. You regret it. You are sickened by it. And other such things. It's just a thought. Of course if you go, don't enter his house. And certainly not alone.
In the mean time.
There was a man named Saul. Also called Paul. He was a Jew, a man who loved God with all his heart, mind, soul, strength.
Saul thought he was serving God by persecuting Jews who believed that Jesus was the Messiah, the Christ.
Well, Saul was wrong.
Come to find out, Saul was actually persecuting the Lord Jesus Christ in persecuting followers of Jesus.
Paul was wrong. Dead wrong. Guilt and sorrow flooded his soul.
You know what the Lord did for Saul? Well, Saul believed and obeyed the Lord Jesus, and God forgave Saul.
Saul went on to be a most diligent, passionate, worker, servant for the Lord Jesus. He preached the gospel from one city to the next, facing all kinds of persecution from the Jews who did not believe in Jesus.
You can't pay for your sin, but you can understand your hurt. You hurt yourself. You hurt God. And you feel as much. You know what that means? It means you love God. You love God. Rejoice in that. You know and love God.
Your guilt, your wanting to make things right, your understanding of your guilt, all that can be used most positively.
Read Acts 8:1-4, Acts 9. And here are the words of Saul/Paul of God's forgiveness. "Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life." 1 Timothy 1:15-16.
Reread that last verse. Read it slow. Okay.
Blessings
God has not only forgiven you, but He sent your sin away. He don't love you any the less.
Your feeling of disgust at what you did with your body for that man, how he used you, and your knowing it was wrong, is not negative. We all have a conscience, the ability to feel guilt and disgust at our sins. That's good. It is.
God knows your heart. He knows your pain. He knows you are most sorry. You want to pay something for your sin. But there's no way you can pay for it.
Here's a thought, idea. Somehow get word to your neighbor that you should not have done what you did. You regret it. You are sickened by it. And other such things. It's just a thought. Of course if you go, don't enter his house. And certainly not alone.
In the mean time.
There was a man named Saul. Also called Paul. He was a Jew, a man who loved God with all his heart, mind, soul, strength.
Saul thought he was serving God by persecuting Jews who believed that Jesus was the Messiah, the Christ.
Well, Saul was wrong.
Come to find out, Saul was actually persecuting the Lord Jesus Christ in persecuting followers of Jesus.
Paul was wrong. Dead wrong. Guilt and sorrow flooded his soul.
You know what the Lord did for Saul? Well, Saul believed and obeyed the Lord Jesus, and God forgave Saul.
Saul went on to be a most diligent, passionate, worker, servant for the Lord Jesus. He preached the gospel from one city to the next, facing all kinds of persecution from the Jews who did not believe in Jesus.
You can't pay for your sin, but you can understand your hurt. You hurt yourself. You hurt God. And you feel as much. You know what that means? It means you love God. You love God. Rejoice in that. You know and love God.
Your guilt, your wanting to make things right, your understanding of your guilt, all that can be used most positively.
Read Acts 8:1-4, Acts 9. And here are the words of Saul/Paul of God's forgiveness. "Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life." 1 Timothy 1:15-16.
Reread that last verse. Read it slow. Okay.
Blessings
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You simply committed the sin of fornication and now have regrets. That's good, it shows you have a conscience and the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Just repent and pray for forgiveness.
God will forgive, but there's often repercussions for sin. You'll be reminded of your indiscretion every time you see your neighbor, he may very well hit on you again, and your reputation could be in jeopardy.
But be assured that God will forgive you. Its good that you feel bad about it and regret it, but you also need to forgive yourself. Everyone has made stupid mistakes, but its important to learn from it and don't let it define who you are.
Some part of you wanted what happened to happen, as you said; "He made sure I was enjoying it". Just be careful not to put yourself in a vulnerable situation like that again. The aftermath is not worth a brief moment of pleasure.
A
I was raped by five guys. My body got hot and bothered by it. Kind of felt good in some ways, but it wasn't good in any ways. My mind had problems differentiating between my body's reaction and what the rest of me was feeling.
Males can be raped, but in being raped, their bodies are telling them things that aren't true either. (It has to stand up to be raped. About the politest way I can put that, and it stands up even if the boy is two, so the body is fully equipped for the pleasure early, if not for the torture.)
Do you know the statutory rape laws in your state? Are you under age? If so, he raped you! (He raped you no matter what, but if you are under the age of consent you can press criminal charges, if you want.)
The laws are there because learning how to say No forcefully isn't something young people know how to do, particularly when the person is older than them and they're taught all kinds of things about respecting elders, being polite, and all the other perfectly good lessons until it comes to an older person trying to use them. The laws are there because we absolutely know this about young people, because we were all young. That neighbor knew it too and raped you because he could.
I did things that feels like I deserved it too, but no means no and you gave him no without knowing how to pursue no more forcefully. Learn how. (I find a knee or fist in the groin is effective, but most people won't go that far.)
And, quick! Get counseling at a rape crisis center. You've been traumatized. You can learn to deal with this, if you learn to deal with it quickly. If you don't deal with it quickly, the wound heals but is all kinds of infected. (Metaphorically speaking, but it is very much a wound to the heart and soul.)
And get checked out for sexual diseases. Hard one to accept, but he's probably done this to others. God saw the mess up. He's not blaming you. God help the neighbor unless he repents, because he's going to suffer more so than any justice system on earth.
And AVOID that neighbor at all cost, until you learn how to deal with him better. Who knows if you ever stop avoiding him, but avoid him for now. (Heaven help him, if you decide not to avoid him forever too, because the wrath of a rape target is nothing to sneeze at. We got all kinds of furious in us. Umm, you don't yet? Feel free to get there through counseling, because a furious is well deserved.)
You are not a victim. You were targeted. You'll understand what I mean with counseling.
Males can be raped, but in being raped, their bodies are telling them things that aren't true either. (It has to stand up to be raped. About the politest way I can put that, and it stands up even if the boy is two, so the body is fully equipped for the pleasure early, if not for the torture.)
Do you know the statutory rape laws in your state? Are you under age? If so, he raped you! (He raped you no matter what, but if you are under the age of consent you can press criminal charges, if you want.)
The laws are there because learning how to say No forcefully isn't something young people know how to do, particularly when the person is older than them and they're taught all kinds of things about respecting elders, being polite, and all the other perfectly good lessons until it comes to an older person trying to use them. The laws are there because we absolutely know this about young people, because we were all young. That neighbor knew it too and raped you because he could.
I did things that feels like I deserved it too, but no means no and you gave him no without knowing how to pursue no more forcefully. Learn how. (I find a knee or fist in the groin is effective, but most people won't go that far.)
And, quick! Get counseling at a rape crisis center. You've been traumatized. You can learn to deal with this, if you learn to deal with it quickly. If you don't deal with it quickly, the wound heals but is all kinds of infected. (Metaphorically speaking, but it is very much a wound to the heart and soul.)
And get checked out for sexual diseases. Hard one to accept, but he's probably done this to others. God saw the mess up. He's not blaming you. God help the neighbor unless he repents, because he's going to suffer more so than any justice system on earth.
And AVOID that neighbor at all cost, until you learn how to deal with him better. Who knows if you ever stop avoiding him, but avoid him for now. (Heaven help him, if you decide not to avoid him forever too, because the wrath of a rape target is nothing to sneeze at. We got all kinds of furious in us. Umm, you don't yet? Feel free to get there through counseling, because a furious is well deserved.)
You are not a victim. You were targeted. You'll understand what I mean with counseling.
A
I wanted to bring up something here. There are a few people here who are saying things like "its not your fault", and other similar things. And Im not trying to say theyre totally wrong or anything, but I dont want you to get the wrong message here. You did sin against God, even if you didnt really wanna do it, and even if you regret it, you did do the act. So there is definitely a need to repent of your sin.
Do not take this the wrong way, though! I am not telling you this in order to "cast judgement" on you, or to make you feel ashamed or anything. In fact, I come from this exact same experience. I was with a guy, and he did start pushing himself on me. I did not really want to do the act, I even went as far as praying to God that I wanted it to stop when it was happening, and I deeply regretted it when it was done. But, in the end, I did not stop him, I did not say no, and I did let it continue, I let him do it, and I was there doing it too. I may have wished I hadnt done it, but I let it happen. So I know that I had sinned against Him, and I know that I have failed Him 100%.
It is wonderful that you feel this shame, though. I mean it, you know the world we are in. It is a world that will tell you that you shouldnt be ashamed, that theres nothing wrong with getting what you want in life, and that those who would encourage you to restrain yourself for doing whats right are the evil ones. But you do know better, you do know that you did wrong, and you feel the need to repent of what you have done. Haha, thats exactly what God tells us to do! The Gospel was not "Hey, you guys are okay, youre totally worth being with God", it wasnt anything close to this
It was that despite being a fallen world of wicked beings, God has decided that it is more pleasing to Him for the wicked to repent of their sins and follow Him, rather than totally destroying the wicked. You feel right now that you are undeserving of Gods love. Well, you are Both you and I are very undeserving But He loved us so much that He came for us anyways, that all we have to do is truly repent on His name in order to be with Him. You are a sinner, but so is every single person who has responded to you on this thread
You should not look for comfort and a feeling of guiltlessness for what happened, even if someone led you to it. That is now what Christ came to do. We should accept that we have failed Him, and that we are unworthy, because we are unworthy. It is His love that saves us, not the way we rationalize how we feel into sin. There is no condemnation for those who are with Christ. You clearly seem to have the desire to be with Him, and this is the greatest choice you will ever make :3 All you have to do is repent of what you have done, and follow Him. Just like every one of us has had to do
Do not take this the wrong way, though! I am not telling you this in order to "cast judgement" on you, or to make you feel ashamed or anything. In fact, I come from this exact same experience. I was with a guy, and he did start pushing himself on me. I did not really want to do the act, I even went as far as praying to God that I wanted it to stop when it was happening, and I deeply regretted it when it was done. But, in the end, I did not stop him, I did not say no, and I did let it continue, I let him do it, and I was there doing it too. I may have wished I hadnt done it, but I let it happen. So I know that I had sinned against Him, and I know that I have failed Him 100%.
It is wonderful that you feel this shame, though. I mean it, you know the world we are in. It is a world that will tell you that you shouldnt be ashamed, that theres nothing wrong with getting what you want in life, and that those who would encourage you to restrain yourself for doing whats right are the evil ones. But you do know better, you do know that you did wrong, and you feel the need to repent of what you have done. Haha, thats exactly what God tells us to do! The Gospel was not "Hey, you guys are okay, youre totally worth being with God", it wasnt anything close to this
It was that despite being a fallen world of wicked beings, God has decided that it is more pleasing to Him for the wicked to repent of their sins and follow Him, rather than totally destroying the wicked. You feel right now that you are undeserving of Gods love. Well, you are Both you and I are very undeserving But He loved us so much that He came for us anyways, that all we have to do is truly repent on His name in order to be with Him. You are a sinner, but so is every single person who has responded to you on this thread You should not look for comfort and a feeling of guiltlessness for what happened, even if someone led you to it. That is now what Christ came to do. We should accept that we have failed Him, and that we are unworthy, because we are unworthy. It is His love that saves us, not the way we rationalize how we feel into sin. There is no condemnation for those who are with Christ. You clearly seem to have the desire to be with Him, and this is the greatest choice you will ever make :3 All you have to do is repent of what you have done, and follow Him. Just like every one of us has had to do
You absolutely knew you shouldn't. You said more than once you wouldn't. You planned wouldn't, except you missed a step. How do you say No to someone you trust, respect, revere and love? How do you say No to someone older than you? Surely they know right from wrong better than you do, right? Maybe, just maybe, you didn't plan it all out, and therefore you didn't know how to deal with it so went along.
Remember that time? Remember the regrets and the "I shouldas" the day after? Do you still feel some of that embarrassment? Some of the humilitation is still there all these years later, isn't it? Remember that day clearly.
Got it?
Okay, so what percent of it really was your fault and what percent really was that other person's fault?
And, if that person raped you, simply because they knew you didn't know how to deal with his form of treachery -- having never faced that kind before -- was it your fault you were raped?
No, we're not telling her she sinned against God because she was RAPED!
For every story of rape, I can go line by line what each person did wrong to get there. (Don't hitchhike. Don't open your door to strangers. Don't walk around at night alone. Don't trust strangers. Yes, it really is okay to knee someone in the groin if he is trying to rape you. Yes, it really is okay to take the heel of your hand and shove it in to her breast if she's trying to rape you. Yes, it's okay to break the person's bone, jam your shoe hard along their shin, punch, kick, scream, if someone is trying to hurt you. Yes, it is okay to claw his eyes out -- try to poke them out, if you have to -- and run for the door.)
Wrong isn't always sin. Wrong is sometimes just not thinking clearly because you're panicking. Wrong is sometimes going to bed with him simply because you think maybe he knows more about right and wrong than you do, and maybe you were giving him signals you never intended to give. Sometimes wrong isn't sin. Sometimes wrong really is just mistakes.
Did you read her story? She did NOT want to have sex with that man. That is RAPE! She's busy thinking like you are today, still making excuses for him. The only person she can't forgive is herself.
A
Reading your first post, I really do think you want to help. Here's the problem. She trusted the neighbor being an older man and all. Look what happened? I suspect you are trustworthy, but it is evident in her story alone that it's not always a good idea to privately go to an older man. She needs to figure out how to tell the difference. I'm 59. I don't always know the difference. So, I think it's sweet that you offered, but not wise.
I'd make the same offer, but it's better to go for counseling, because then she can see who she is talking to, they can see who they're talking to, body language really tells more than words, and they're trained in this more than us. (I've had some training, but my experience using that training has taught me I needed much more training before I tried to help someone who was raped.)
I'd make the same offer, but it's better to go for counseling, because then she can see who she is talking to, they can see who they're talking to, body language really tells more than words, and they're trained in this more than us. (I've had some training, but my experience using that training has taught me I needed much more training before I tried to help someone who was raped.)
A
Definition of sexual harassment includes the harasser has some kind of power over you. A co-worker cannot sexually harass you, because they are equal in status. You cannot be sexually harassed by someone under you, because you hold the power.
He holds power over you. He is an older man and you went there to assist him. You went there to be kind. He took your kindness and directed you. You wanted to hep him in some way and he told you what he could use help with, and you did that, so he directed you. Therefore he had power over you because he is older, and, in a way, directed you. Because of that, by law, he should never have even made advances on you. He did anyway. He was wrong. Illegal kind of wrong. Immoral kind of wrong. Nasty kind of wrong. Sinful kind of wrong.
If you knew another way out of this, you should have/would have taken it. Your body reacted. There is nothing we can do about that. We cannot turn off those feelings. They are there because if sex wasn't the best feeling ever, no one would ever get around to having kids. The problem is those feelings really feel wonderful. No denying that. And the attention feels wonderful. No denying that either. But you never wanted sex with this man. Even while having sex, you felt crappy. Making love isn't like that. No crappy in it.
On all accounts, you were raped.
He holds power over you. He is an older man and you went there to assist him. You went there to be kind. He took your kindness and directed you. You wanted to hep him in some way and he told you what he could use help with, and you did that, so he directed you. Therefore he had power over you because he is older, and, in a way, directed you. Because of that, by law, he should never have even made advances on you. He did anyway. He was wrong. Illegal kind of wrong. Immoral kind of wrong. Nasty kind of wrong. Sinful kind of wrong.
If you knew another way out of this, you should have/would have taken it. Your body reacted. There is nothing we can do about that. We cannot turn off those feelings. They are there because if sex wasn't the best feeling ever, no one would ever get around to having kids. The problem is those feelings really feel wonderful. No denying that. And the attention feels wonderful. No denying that either. But you never wanted sex with this man. Even while having sex, you felt crappy. Making love isn't like that. No crappy in it.
On all accounts, you were raped.
E
Let me first just give you the biggest hugg ever. I can't imagine how you feel but I will say Repent I say this to say because True Repentance gets one back in GOD's Good Grace, also it Strengthens one to move forward. I believe your neighbor had it all planned. Now that you know what he is capable of stay away from him. There is nothing to discuss. For whatever reason you were going over to his home and being alone is something you have to address within yourself and GOD. I don't know your age if your a minor or an adult.
Search online for a Church that you can attend and start going. Study the Bible and apply what you read. The feeling of guilt is called condemnation and it is from satan. GOD gives those who have accepted JESUS as LORD and SAVIOR the HOLY SPIRIT and HE convicts us when we commit a sin or are having thoughts to do a sin. The difference is condemnation makes one feel guilty, ashamed and far from GOD. Whereas convictions makes one feel they need to no longer have the thoughts or commit the sin because it displeases GOD.
Pray and ask GOD to help you with the feelings you have and to deal with your neighbor. Trust GOD to do so.
Blessings!!!!!!!
Search online for a Church that you can attend and start going. Study the Bible and apply what you read. The feeling of guilt is called condemnation and it is from satan. GOD gives those who have accepted JESUS as LORD and SAVIOR the HOLY SPIRIT and HE convicts us when we commit a sin or are having thoughts to do a sin. The difference is condemnation makes one feel guilty, ashamed and far from GOD. Whereas convictions makes one feel they need to no longer have the thoughts or commit the sin because it displeases GOD.
Pray and ask GOD to help you with the feelings you have and to deal with your neighbor. Trust GOD to do so.
Blessings!!!!!!!
A
Someone told me about this American Indian legend. I tried looking for it online, but can't come up with the right keywords to find it. Basically, if a brave raped someone, the tribe would cut down a tree to just the right height where his groin equals the top. They'd undress him, and stab a part of his body to that tree in such a way that it was half way cut off. Then they'd leave him there to decide for himself if he wanted to remove the knife or die.
Shot gun? Nah! This story has haunted me ever since. I like the appropriateness of the punishment. The only reason I don't still want that for five guys is because I'm fully aware God has worse ways to punish people. So I pray for his mercy on them, because I'm aware just how much I'm no better than they are. Just different in my abusive nature.
Shotgun or tree stump? Got to go with God's mercy eventually.
One thing for sure, I'm not afraid to go dark sometimes though.
Shot gun? Nah! This story has haunted me ever since. I like the appropriateness of the punishment. The only reason I don't still want that for five guys is because I'm fully aware God has worse ways to punish people. So I pray for his mercy on them, because I'm aware just how much I'm no better than they are. Just different in my abusive nature.
Shotgun or tree stump? Got to go with God's mercy eventually.
One thing for sure, I'm not afraid to go dark sometimes though.