I'm very unhappy

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MarcR

MarcR

Senior Member
#21
Feb 12, 2015
5,486
183
63
#21
I think that, if your husband is a believer, the commandment that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the Church includes the idea that he should not cause her unnecessary embarrassment.

Perhaps you should rent a separate apartment or move into your parents home and invite him to join you.
 
S

soccermom19

Guest
#22
#22
Nishapierre said:
This has been an issue that has been going on for awhile.
Previously in our marriage when we have an argument my husband would vent to his mom. he admitted to his mom that he was in the wrong for that. Honestly I appreciated him owning up to that. I feel that any argument we have should always be in our privacy since we are married. Now maybe I'm the one being unrealistic although I don't feel that way. He's always been close to his family which is fine. But I am his wife and out of respect for me if I do not feel comfortable with my husband going to his mom and brother to vent about me then he should respect that. I am expected to do the same. What do you guys think? I feel we have no privacy at all nor boundaries. as a married couple we should have boundaries right?
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Your husband sounds like the type of person who needs to vent and get feedback from others. (I am that type too). Try talking to him about it. Come up with a solution of who he can vent to without upsetting you. For example, I do my venting on here. Perhaps he can talk to a good friend. Make it clear to him that it isn't okay with you when he vents to his family, but he can vent to .............
I feel that he probably isn't trying to hurt you. He is probably just trying to work through the issues you two have. I know that I have to talk about things or I will bust. If I didn't unload on CC I would most likely be in a deep depression by now.
 
I

isolated

Guest
#23
#23
Nishapierre said:
This has been an issue that has been going on for awhile.
Previously in our marriage when we have an argument my husband would vent to his mom. he admitted to his mom that he was in the wrong for that. Honestly I appreciated him owning up to that. I feel that any argument we have should always be in our privacy since we are married. Now maybe I'm the one being unrealistic although I don't feel that way. He's always been close to his family which is fine. But I am his wife and out of respect for me if I do not feel comfortable with my husband going to his mom and brother to vent about me then he should respect that. I am expected to do the same. What do you guys think? I feel we have no privacy at all nor boundaries. as a married couple we should have boundaries right?
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You need to tell him it shows a lack of wisdom to share an argument, vent, whatever you call it with his mother and brother. As his mother and brother it is going to turn them against you. That is why it is unwise. All arguments should be private between husband and wife alone. The Bible states to leave mother and father and cleave unto his wife. This does not mean every time you have an argument he should vent to his mother. It is very immature and causes damage to the relationship. He needs to learn how to keep his mouth shut for the sake of the marriage. All disputes or arguments if not settled should be taken before God in prayer. His mom and brother are not a substitute for God and biblical scriptures. He knows that his mother and brother are always going to side with him giving him an advantage to the argument. Thus he always wins. Very immature and the pathway to divorce.
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#24
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
339
83
#24
Nishapierre said:
people can't speak on things they never experienced. if his brother has never been married then he can't give marriage advice. but all the other guy stuff seems more appropriate
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Some of the best marital advise I ever got was from a person who had never been married. You don't need to jump in the pig pen and roll around with the hogs to know you'll get muddy. I wouldn't write-off helpful advise just because it comes from someone who hasn't been married, wisdom often trumps experience. Remember, Jesus (single) spoke about marriage.

If you and your hubby argue all the time, perhaps he's just consulting people he's comfortable with because he's sick of fighting? But you right, advise is free, and you usually get what you pay for :). Your concern isn't marriage, its privacy, so just try to get your husband to agree not to air your dirty laundry in public, and that will be one less thing to fight about. As others have mentioned though, that might be a difficult thing to accomplish as long as your living under Mama's roof? I suspect she's just a convenient sounding board for him... jmo
 
P

Practice-English

Guest
#25
#25
Yes, me too sometimes,
I'm really unhappy for many reasons...


Ephesians 6.jpg​
 
W

WolfGaming

Guest
#26
#26
Have you tried telling him in a loving way that you don't like that?
 
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