In need of Godly Counsel, please.

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wolfwint

Senior Member
Feb 15, 2014
3,627
886
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#61
I must have worded my post wrong or you have misread.... I only mentioned that brief affair to show that I wasn't completely innocent even though my husband left me for another woman.
The guy i am with now, is the guy I started seeing after my ex husband filed for divorce. Yes I sinfully had pre marital sex because I was not a practicing christian, and I knowlingly didn't use protection because I wanted a baby. This same guy is divorced because his wife was dating another man. He tried making it work with her numerous times because he was trying to be a good influence on her children and was helping raise them. She wanted her cake and to eat it too, So he left her because of her infidelity. She isnt a christian either.

Yes it all sounds like a horrible mess. But i did have peace about marrying him until I stumbled over that post on Facebook about people in second marriages not inheriting the kingdom of God. I thought I was doing right by the Lord and I'm just seeking for biblical advice.
Dear Ashley, about the second marriage, it is not true to come not into heaven. We come into heaven because Jesus paid for our sins. And if he has forgiven you then who can judge you?
But in your case of marriage the father of your daughter, who is also divorced, my personel opinion is, I would not do. Because we should not marry a divorced person, so long the partner lives. And it is not said, that it will be good for your daughter. Sometimes a marriage, because of the child has then a father ore a mother end in a sitution where we later would say. I had better stayed alone.
The scripture is clear and I would rather the word of god then the time spirit, our my feelings ore people which have no problem with remarriage. I know the decision is not easy. I pray for you to do the right.
 

SAS

Senior Member
Jan 18, 2014
175
7
18
#62
Saying a prayer ashley06, for You, your Daughter and her Father.
God bless your walk and the Path the Father has for You!!!
May you hear Loud and Clear from the Holy Spirit!!!
 

Enow

Banned
Dec 21, 2012
2,901
39
0
#63
Pardon me for sounding blunt, but you say that instead of following God, you went and had an affair with a divorced man, who you are now engaged to. You had premarital sex, foolishly didn't use protection. In my opinion, you weren't "blessed" with this kid. Your daughter is the result of unprotected, lustful passion and unfortunately, she got born into the mess you have created. You WERE still married at the time of this affair, yes?

And the guy you're with now? What's his reason for getting divorced? Did his wife cheat on him, did he cheat on her or what? Who filed for divorce first in his marriage? If his reason for divorce, is infidelity then you'd better stay single and learn from your mistakes. Because you're about to go straight from the frying pan into the fire. :/ What if you marry this guy, and somewhere down the road you get divorced again? The fact that you have no peace about this, should tell you that you're doing the wrong thing by marrying this guy. Don't screw up your child's life by making more mistakes with this guy. Stay single and concentrate on taking care of your kid.
ashley06

Do pardon her. Ask Jesus for help if you can't.

Matthew 6:[SUP]14 [/SUP]For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:[SUP] 15 [/SUP]But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
11,782
2,951
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#64
First, Facebook is not a good source for doctrine. You say you are reading the Bible, which is a good start. But you need to find a good church, with a pastor who is willing to counsel you, and perhaps your fiancé.

Most people here have given advice on the divorce and remarriage issue. Your first husband committed adultery on you and then walked out. Case closed, you are free to remarry.

Others touched on the fact that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, and believing that saves us. Repentance is part of that, of course, you sound like you have repented, and are trying not to sin. The thing to remember is that it is God who saves us, not our works. God has promised he will never leave or forsake us. Hebrews 13:5. He also tells us that nothing can separate us from the love of God!

" For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor heavenly rulers, nor things that are present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

Finally with regard to anxiety and depression, I would urge you to meditate on the Word of God. For example,

"
Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7

Memorize this. Think about it for 10 minutes daily, when you wake up. Remember it during the day. When anxious thoughts come, make it a prayer. God will help you!


 
M

Miri

Guest
#65
Oh Asley, I feel your guilt and panic and misery.

I just wanted to say that God's love, mercy and forgiveness are all yours in Jesus hon.

Yes things went wrong and you must feel heart broken.

Turn to Jesus, let Him be your counsellor, guide, healer and restorer - not anyone on here.
The man you are with now, pray and if it feels right marry him. (Not on the
rebound or due to any legal requirement but because you love him and feel its
the right thing to do).

He must be a good person and care about you a lot if he has willing abstain,
to let you sort things out. Is he a Christian? If not I pray that both of you wil know
the Lord as personal Saviour.

You have been convicted, you feel repentance, come to salvation and become a new
creation. Jesus can make everything brand new for you both.

Have a listen to this.

Praying for you



[video]https://youtu.be/jrnvSf2dX18[/video]
 
M

MrChris

Guest
#66
I am writing this with such humility. Please gently guide me.

I was married at 18 to my high school sweetheart. We believed in God and Jesus but neither went to church, read the Bible, or lived following Christ. I was "saved" and baptised at 16 and that's as far as that goes. My ex Husband was saved and baptised as a child. We never went to church or anything of the sort. My ex husband left me for another woman. He moved her in a week after he filed for divorce. He is engaged to be married. The last two years of our marriage he was distant. I seen him talking to other women online. I also had a brief affair right before he left me that know one knew about (until me posting now). Instead of following Christ i started seeing another man (who is divorced from an adulterous wide) after my ex filed divorce papers. I am now engaged with the daughter we have together. Him and I now abstain from sex because I'm trying to do the right thing. I know it's late in the game. I have owned my past mistakes and have repented and cried out to the Lord over them.

I have anxiety and obsess over everything. So that hinders my walk with the Lord... I seen a post about people in second marriages are not going to inherit The kinddom of God because they are now alduterers according to 1 Corinthians. All i have done for a month now is obsess over that. I constantly feel condemned over that and have no peace. The only mature christian influence in my life is my grandmother, who lives states away from me, told me i would be right with the Lord if I marry my fiance now. She told me the devil was on my back and I need to rebuke him and get married. In a way, I trust her counsel. But I know she loves me and doesnt want to see me hurt either.

I don't have a pastor or anyone to go to. So i am seeking godly counsel here. I hope this is okay.

I personally felt good about marrying my daughter's father. I felt he was sent by God. We were going through the same things. We were blessed with our daughter. (I tried for years with my ex and never even a scare) But i am also a babe in christ. I don't know much. But I was convinced I was right. Then I seen that post in a christian Facebook group and havent been sure of anything since. I had no personal conviction from reading scripture either while studying my bible until i read that. I know jesus allowed remarriage in the event of an unfaithful spouse, but in the end we were both unfaithful.

Do you think if I marry this man, my daughter's father, who I love, I won't go to heaven? Or am I to raise my daughter as a single mother and remain celibate? There will never be reconciliation with my ex husband. This I know.
Jesus did make some very tough rules when it came to infidelity. He's right, you can't just go from one marriage to another. It creates lots of contention, and malforms the family unit. As much as I can say, you're better off staying single until your faith in God is mature enough to make an informed decision.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#67
Jesus did make some very tough rules when it came to infidelity. He's right, you can't just go from one marriage to another. It creates lots of contention, and malforms the family unit. As much as I can say, you're better off staying single until your faith in God is mature enough to make an informed decision.
They can't, they have a child so are already a family unit.
You can't tell a couple with children, to split up (unless they don't get on, abuse etc).
 
M

MrChris

Guest
#68
They can't, they have a child so are already a family unit.
You can't tell a couple with children, to split up (unless they don't get on, abuse etc).
I didn't say that, I said for her to remain single until she matures enough in faith to decide what to do.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,382
16,335
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Tennessee
#69
They can't, they have a child so are already a family unit.
You can't tell a couple with children, to split up (unless they don't get on, abuse etc).
A good practicable perception.